HELP! Messages of hope? Fussy feeding at crisis pt - 4 mo and low milk supply

[saveupallthedays]

I have late onset decreased supply. In the early days, I had such bad engorgement and huge breasts that ached all the time. DS and I had terrible feeding issues with it taking over 6 weeks for him to latch in under 30 min reliably. Things settled down but I made so many mistakes (fed from one side because he seemed full after one side, block fed for a while, cut one of his night feeds, tried to feed to schedule) that led to late onset decreased supply that I only noticed a few days ago. It didn't help that I've been very anxious and stressed with a lot on my plate. If you're not familiar with the condition: ibconline.ca/information-sheets/late-onset-decreased-milk-supply-or-flow/

DS has been intermittently refusing the breast and impatient for about a month, but in the last few days things have deteriorated. He only attempts to suck for one to 30 seconds before pulling off and sometimes crying. The only way he will feed at the breast is if the let down comes straight away or I induce the let down with a pump then frantically get him onto the breast. Even when he feeds like that, he seems to feed for 1-2 min on one side +/- 1-2 on the other side. I am using breast compressions to keep him sucking.

His nappies are lighter across the day despite me offering more feeds. His weight gain across three weeks has been negligible (100g). I've had to use a bottle with EBM a few times in the last few days. I tried a bit of cup feeding today. I've been on the phone to breastfeeding hotlines, baby hotlines and a lactation consultant is coming tomorrow morning. I'm about to try some domperidone and have been taking fenugreek for a couple of days. I'm pumping after most BFing sessions to try and up supply but it doesn't seem to have made a difference.

Has anyone been through this and had the problem be this bad? Did you and LO manage to come out of it? It feels like the end of BFing for me and potentially even the end of EBM because my supply feels so low.

I know the worst case scenario is he goes onto a bottle with formula, but I feel like such a failure...

[NationalShiteDay]

Oh love. You sound so stressed!

I've not had it myself but a friend has similar. She switched to formula and everyone much happier for it.

Honestly if the worst that happens is that baby switches to formula is it that bad? He'll be fed, and it will take the stress out of continuing to try and increase your supply.

You've done 4 months EBF. That's a fabulous achievement by anyone's standards. He's had the best milk possible at the most crucial stage in his life.

I say this kindly and fully qualified as someone who works in this field, but maybe switching is best? He WILL NOT be damaged by it.

[Rinceoir]

Are you sure it’s entirely supply related? 4 month olds of often fussy and easily distracted in my experience! If possible can you go back to basics? So lots of cuddles and skin to skin, maybe a day in bed with lots of opportunity to feed?

[saveupallthedays]

Thanks for your replies! @Nationalshiteday your message of support means so much.

The LC came around today and was fantastic. She doesn't think it is a supply issue but a behavioural issue. Not necessarily from being distracted but from me being too insistent on feeding when he's not interested. Because he's a LO who has strong feelings about not being fed when not hungry, our interactions got more and more dysfunctional over time to the point where he is/was only drinking the bare minimum. She showed me how to let him guide me as to whether he was hungry or not (skin to skin and wait to see if he moved to find the nipple) and we've had a big improvement over the course of 12 hours! Still no where near where we used to be, but much better

[NationalShiteDay]

That's great OP, glad things have improved! This baby thing really is a challenge sometimes!