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Im ready to stop bfing at 10 months but don't know how!

(10 Posts)
User24689 Tue 04-Sep-18 11:49:17

Sitting here with hot water bottle on extremely painful plugged milk duct, which just feels like the last straw .

DS loves the boob but has no breastfeeding manners despite months of trying to train him! He pulls strands of my hair, repeatedly slaps my face, grabs at my mouth. If I give him something else to fiddle with he just stops feeding. Now he has top and bottom teeth he regularly bites me. I have had enough!

He won't take a bottle, at all, never has. He will take water from a sippy cup but not milk - having said that even water he can't drink without soaking himself in it. He can't match his mouth onto the spout, just sort of chews it and pours it down himself.

He currently feeds at 6am, 10am (fed to sleep for nap) 12pm, 2pm (fed to sleep for nap), 4pm and 7pm (fed to sleep). Most nights he wakes 2 or 3 times and has to be fed to go back to sleep.

I realise that probably sounds crazy for 10 months but that's where I am. Stopping seems impossible right now and I just feel trapped by him and exhausted. I also have a very active 3 year old at home with me as well and I end up leaving her on her own to watch tv while I put him down for naps which often can take 20 mins or so and I feel like a terrible mum for leaving her to her own devices.

Has anyone got any advice. DH thinks I should just stop cold turkey but I feel that is a really cruel way to go and I always want to use the most gentle option.

Is it worth cutting the nights out first? He doesn't eat a huge amount but tbh it's no wonder with how much milk he has!

OP’s posts: |
arbrighton Tue 04-Sep-18 18:10:05

Stopping cold turkey won't improve the blocked duct situation.

Cutting nights is way harder.... Unless your DH is going to deal with night wakings (we haven't gone there yet at 14.5 mo)

Day feeds naturally dropped off for us about 12 mo as DS got the hang of eating. He's often on one or none now.

I would kind of like to stop but can't see how just now

User24689 Wed 05-Sep-18 01:28:03

Thanks for your reply. dH was suggesting I express at the times I would usually feed but I honestly don't think it's the right way to go.

I was thinking about dropping the feeds before food - I had been told milk before food until they are one but I'm wondering if he's just too full to eat. He's big too, haven't weighed him in a while but he's been in 12-18mnth clothes for a couple of months now.

I suppose it's hard to know if dropping the milk means he'll eat more or he'll just feed all night instead!

OP’s posts: |
villainousbroodmare Wed 05-Sep-18 01:55:17

I think that the kindest way to do it would be to initially stop feeding to sleep. Will he take a dummy? Then start dropping feeds one by one, gradually, day feeds first.

Redteapot67 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:02:17

Drop any feeds that aren’t before food
just offer water in a cup he doesn’t need so much milk- as you cut down the milk his solids will increase.
Try and pull him off boob just before he sleeps and cuddle him to sleep instead. So feed to drowsy not to sleep. Eventually try and just cuddle to sleep not feed to sleep .
If he bites you or doesn’t anything you don’t like immediately stop the feed and wait 1-2 mins then continue. It’ll train him not to do it so much.
Is he teething? Babies often bite when teething - teething gel before a feed could help?
Good luck!

Redteapot67 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:03:00

Aren’t before sleep - not food!

User24689 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:17:32

Thank you!

No he won't take a dummy unfortunately.

He does seem to be naturally moving on from feeding to sleep. Often now he stops when drowsy and just sort of nuzzles into me and then I rock him to sleep. He does need to feed to get to that point though.

If I drop the feeds that aren't before food, that means dropping the ones that are before naps, which I can't imagine working. That's why I was thinking of dropping the ones before food. Is that a bad idea at this age then?

Thanks for all your advice! I agree it would be so much better if I wasn't feeding him to sleep. I used to just pop my daughter in her cot awake and she would go off, this boy has been a different story from day one!

OP’s posts: |
Redteapot67 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:22:50

Sorry see my correction - yes drip feeds that are before food.
Keep the before sleep ones but try and only feed to drowsy.
Eventually try and cut the day feeds
Then the night feeds
Usually it’s the morning or evening ones left until last

Redteapot67 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:23:18

Drop not drip - too late for me!

User24689 Wed 05-Sep-18 02:35:59

Oh thanks heaps teapot that makes sense. I did see your correction but then didn't really take it in - my brain is mush this morning! I will give this a go over the next few days!

OP’s posts: |

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