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4mo hurting me whilst bf also favours one boob(10 Posts)
My gorgeous 4mo is a great feeder but the last 2 days and nights he’s started attacking me 😐
He pinches and pulls at my face, neck, chest and hair. He grabs and pulls my ear/rings. He turns his head right into my side for some reason. Grunting and seemingly agitated. He actually bit me for the first time despite having 2 teeth for weeks.
Whilst I’m on this I don’t know if it’s normal sometimes he kind of coughs/splutters on my milk? Also he always favours the right boob. If he has the left one he’s not satisfied til he’s had the right after, but he’s satisfied on the right on its own.
I’m thinking the pinching etc could be developmental or to do with overstimulation as I’ve just done him a nice bedtime bath and snuggling on the sofa and he’s feeding fine from the right, nice and sleepy.
Look up ‘nursing manners’ for ways to deal with the pinching, etc. It is really common and you’re probably right either developmental, overstimulation or both.
Some mums have success with nursing necklaces for baby to fiddle with instead I’d attacking you.
Biting is common too, a good tip is to pull them close and fast into the breast and they usually unlatch quickly and it’s less painful.
Coughing/spluttering could be due to fast letdown/fast flow in which case ‘laid back nursing’ or ‘biological nursing’ positions can help. Or it could be due to milk transfer issues, such as tounge tie (often missed completely).
Favouring one side. Can you try rugby hold to ‘trick’ him. Seeing a cranio osteopath can help as it can be due to discomfort on how he lies. If he keeps feeding from one side you can end up with an uneven supply so then he keeps feeding from one side. Lots of babies to have a preferred side though. Another trick is to feed from the side they don’t like when they are half asleep and don’t realise to even things out!
@littledinaco thank you for that! I’ve been looking up breastfeeding manners but it all seems to be for older babies, I can’t see my 4 month old DS being able to listen to me saying no or distracting him. Today he’s started clamping down on my nipple then yanking his head back 😩 then he laughs when I say ouch! I take him off the boob when he does it, give it a few seconds talking to him then start again. He seems to be trying to learn to do lots of different things lately and is developing his personality.
This may help for the biting kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/biting/
One of mine was a biter, you can learn how to spot it though. You have to watch them carefully when they are feeding and you will see/feel their latch/position of the tounge change and then take them off before they bite. It takes a little bit of practice so you know exactly what you are looking for.
Some people find no reaction to the biting is better than telling him off or saying ‘ouch’ etc as they often find any reaction from you amusing. If you can though, you are better to try and spot it and take him off before he bites.
4 Months is probably a bit young for lots of the techniques but often they do understand more than you think so you can still move his hand away from pinching you and say ‘keep still’ ‘no pinching’ (obviously not in a telling off way as he’s too young, but just in a nice gentle way). Also, hold him in a way he can’t grab, etc. You may have to try different positions. It’s never too young to teach behaviour that you don’t want as if you wait until he’s older, he’ll be really confused that he’s been ‘allowed’ to pinch/grab etc and then you’re suddenly asking him to stop.
It sounds like you’re right though and it’s a developmental thing so hopefully it’s just a little phase.
@littledinaco that’s brilliant thank you! It’s not been easy so far (is it ever?) but we’ve both absolutely loved bf so far and I’m hoping to get to 2 years if I can 🤞🏻 He’s easily distracted whilst feeding now so I try to eliminate distractions but he’s on and off smiling and laughing at me (too cute), holding his toes, trying to suck his thumb whilst feeding and now biting. He does also grab a fistful of my skin on occasion. Will definitely take him off for a moment when these happen
Oh that’s lovely you want to feed until 2 (I currently feed my 4 year old and 2 year old). I’m sure you will, you’ve done the hardest part so far although there may still be hurdles along the way that no one tells you about!
Yes, the distracted phase at this age is really, really common. It does pass though.
Also, yes to the nursing gymnastics!
A bit of ‘rough and tumble’ play when not feeding (pushing against his feet, cycling his legs, moving his arms, rocking him about, etc) can help reducing the messing during feeds.
I didn’t take mine off when pulling/pinching but did move/hold their hand and swap positions so they couldn’t. Some people don’t mind the pinching/twiddling but I couldn’t stand it so had zero tolerance! Straddled across you knee is quite good for stopping hands smacking at your face!
When they pull off to grin at you it’s just magic
@littledinaxk 4&2! Wow that’s incredible well done Mama! I still feel awful for only feeding my first til 7mo. Advice was non existent and it was a case of bf til weaning then follow on formula is best! As well as formula top ups when he was actually cluster feeding which ruined my supply of course. I was so young and marketing is so powerful, neither me or my ds1 were actually ready to stop. Determined not to let that happen this time. You must be extremely proud of each other 😊
I don’t know if it’s because I’m tiny with back problems or baby is fussy but he will only feed in the standard across my lap position or laying down in bed with me
@MeAgain91 thank you, that’s so nice to hear☺️
7 Months is amazing, very few people feed that long so don’t feel bad. I stopped feeding my first sooner than I would have liked which was due to poor advice. I still feel bad about it and wished I had known what I know now but we all do our best at the time with the information we have.
I am similar in that I can only comfortably feed cross cradle and lying down (I’m tiny too!) I struggled with positioning massively when I started tandem feeding and only adapted positions at a last resort to combat the biting! Luckily DC3 isn’t a biter and DC2 is old enough to know better now. I mainly only feed one at a time now so am back to cross cradle-Yay!
How are you getting on with the biting?
Also, are you on any of the Facebook groups? They can be great for advice and just having a read if you’re struggling with it.
Thank you, I’ve struggled with he “Mum guilt” for ages but moreso since EBF this new baby. Good rgjt though, we all do our best with the information we have at the time and that does help.
He seems to have stopped biting now! Hasn’t bitten all day. Now we’re going through a complete unwillingness to sleep instead 😬
Oh good, glad the bitings stopped anyway but as soon as you sort one thing there’s always something else isn’t there!
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