Conflicted about BFing 16 month old

[BirdsInTheAttic]

I think I just need to get this all down somewhere because it's swirling in my head and I'm going mad!

My 16month old (DC2) was down to almost no feeds until a couple of months ago - I was happy that things were naturally trailing off and was relaxed about it taking a while. At the time he was feeding to sleep for naps and bedtime, and maybe once overnight.

All of a sudden a couple of months ago, he started wanting BF in the day, basically anytime he sees me, wherever we are. He's fine when I'm at work (part time, but full days, working today) but for some reason (perhaps because he's fed so much over the weekend?) I have one boob so engorged today that it is agony!

I haven't had engorgement for months and months!! And it doesn't help that he basically only feeds from one side, so I have one giant beach ball and one empty teabag

I don't know what to do: I'm panicking a bit that this engorgement is going to keep happening at this rate (I have had to express for comfort today, so have probably perpetuated the problem) Also we're away on holiday with family in a few weeks and I feel stupidly self conscious about feeding in front of them, especially if it's all day every day!

Argh!! Is it possible he'll just calm down a bit on the Bf front by himself? Or do I have to do something?! I fed DC1 until 2 years ish, but don't remember the feeds ramping up like this.

Thank you if you've read this essay, and if anyone's got any wisdom or advice please let me know!

[BirdsInTheAttic]

Bump for the evening

[moimichme]

I'm still breastfeeding my 17-month-old and working full-time, and there have been times the frequency has reduced and then others when it increased. I do express once a day at work (thankfully for us, there is no big difference between the two sides). It might be the hot weather, or comfort nursing, a growth spurt -- so I wouldn't worry about it too much as it's unlikely to be an ongoing, constant nursing situation.

When you're seeing your family, will you be able to disappear off into another room briefly to feed, if you need to, or will that be difficult?

[moimichme]

The first 'myth' here is about comfort feeding as potentially becoming more significant for toddlers -- maybe your little one is missing you and wants to re-connect through nursing:

kellymom.com/ages/after12mo/ebf-myths/

[BirdsInTheAttic]

Thanks Moi, reassuring to hear you've found the frequency going up and down too. I guess it surprised me because he'd been tapering off so predictably, and seemed to adjust really well to me being back at work. But you're right, the hot weather could be playing a part (and I suspect possible teeth as well)

Ah the family thing is totally my own silly issue to get over. I don't think there's anything wrong with feeding a toddler. They probably don't think there's anything wrong with feeding a toddler, I just feel weird about them knowing I do it

[moimichme]

Oh yes, teething is often a stimulus for more nursing, for us. Apparently some babies stop feeding as much -- mine won't let go!

If you can retire to another room, at least for a day or two, that might help? But honestly no-one has said a word to me about it (not to my face, anyway!) -- although at first, when people asked how long I intended to breastfeed for, I said 'As long as we both want to', which may explain the lack of comment now! With this being my firstborn, I'm not sure how long we'll go, but we're both (mostly) happy so we're keeping on.

[FiftyShadesOfDuckEggBlue]

Breastfeeding my 21 month old here. There are days when she feeds more frequently than when she was a newborn. I've had many unwelcome comments from friends, relatives and healthcare professionals, the subtler ones usually along the lines of 'When do you plan to stop?' to which I reply with what moimichme said above or 'I'll let her decide'. People tend to shut up after that.

Just do what you and DS is happy with and ignore the family. It's really none of their business.

[moimichme]

Good to know there are others going strong with breastfeeding toddlers - especially when I went on Google to search for advice using NHS breastfeeding toddler and the top hit on the page was titled 'How to stop breastfeeding'! Err...thanks?

[TwoDrifters]

I’m still BF my 2 1/2 year old. If you’d told me I would be doing that at the beginning when I was in the fog of cluster feeds I think I would have sobbed but actually I really love the closeness and the cuddles we still have.

I’m currently almost 5 months pregnant so don’t know whether it will continue or whether when my milk changes, it will cease, but I’m just relaxing and going with the flow.

I’ve had one or two surprised faces and a couple of raised eyebrows but no one has made any outwardly negative comments and I wouldn’t really care even if they did. My child is happy and content and so am I.

Well done for all you’re doing!

[BirdsInTheAttic]

Thanks all, feeling much better after my wobble! I fed DC1 until 2 1/2 so DS still seems really little, but I was starting to feel a bit bf'd out!

[Adviceplease360]

Well done for nursing for so long, I do not know a single person in RL who has managed to feed for more than a few months.
No advice I'm afraid just a big well done