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Feeling guilty for stopping breastfeeding

(9 Posts)
Elizaraven Thu 03-May-18 00:11:39

I have a 9 week old & have had to switch him to formula because he was screaming for more food after he came off the breast & dropped in weight the last time I got him weighed.

I’m finding it really difficult not being able to feed him & welling up/crying all the time. I just feel guilty that I couldn’t carry on & ive failed him.

My partner & my mum made me feel even worse by telling me just switch to formula & made me feel stupid for wanting to carry on.

My son seems a lot more settled now he is on the formula but I still can’t shift the guilty feeling that I should have persisted at breastfeeding. Plus knowing he will be my last baby I have i wanted to stick it out for as long as possible.

Has anyone had any similar feelings? Also has anyone successfully done breastfeeding & formula combined?

OP’s posts: |
Notsooriginalwerther Thu 03-May-18 00:22:00

Hi op, firstly congratulations!! I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, trust me I know exactly what it feels like, wretched, it’s heartbreaking. I don’t have advice in regards to combi feeding but I just want you to know that you’re not the first and you won’t be the last to feel the guilt and pain of stopping bf’ing but you’ve given him such an amazing start in these nine weeks and as his mum you’re making the decision to ff or combi feed so he is healthy and content, that’s the most wonderful thing you can do for him.

I spent days crying when I stopped I felt I’d let my girl down and that she would hate me for not bf’ing her and we would never be close. That’s not the case at all, in fact the child is obsessed with me which is flattering and annoying! It will get easier, your emotions and hormones are everywhere atm but soon you’ll feel relieved that your baby is gaining weight and sleeping with a full tummy.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or push you into something you don’t want to do, if you want to ff and bf then you can do it!! Hopfully a skilled combi feeder will be along to give you some help but until then, cut yourself some slack you’re being the best mum to him so stop beating yourself up over it.

Look after yourself, a happy relaxed mummy is what he needs. For you brew flowers

Elizaraven Thu 03-May-18 00:44:12

Thank you Notsooriginalwerther , I know I’m not the first or last, it’s silly really as my other two turned out just fine & I stopped after a few weeks with them both. I’m so close with my children as well, maybe it’s juggling my love between them all, the breastfeeding brought me closer to them & I wasn’t ready to give it up this time.

It’s definitely harder this time round with my emotions & lack of understanding from people around me isn’t helping. Unfortunately I’m my own worst critic but now my boy is more settled hopefully my guilt will go away smile x

OP’s posts: |
Wildlingofthewest Thu 03-May-18 00:49:02

Please stop being so hard on yourself. Your doing a great job!

Breastfeeding can be a wonderful thing for mum & baby, but sometimes for what ever reason it just doesn’t work out. Your not a failure, you haven’t done anything wrong and you haven’t let anyone down. It’s just one of those things

Your little boy has a loving mummy who is doing her very best. That is enough.

Draw a line under it, enjoy your baby and don’t give it another thought. Xxx

AssassinatedBeauty Thu 03-May-18 00:49:19

You don't have to stop breastfeeding altogether if you'd rather not. There's nothing stopping you giving as many or as few feeds around the formula as you like. It's probably easiest to decide which feeds to breastfeed and which to formula feed and then stick to that pattern.

Leaveallthistoyesterday Thu 03-May-18 01:05:28

Eliza, you're doing a brilliant job looking after your little one. I had low supply and had to supplement with formula, and I was absolutely devastated felt like I'd let DS down. We're a few months down the road and I can see I didn't let him down at all.

How long ago did you stop bfing? If you still have any supply, you can just have him latch on. Then combined just means you either do some feeds breast and some formula, or at each feed you can breast feed then give him a bottle to top up. I have very very low supply, but DS (5 months) still loves to feed.

If you don't have any supply left, it's a bit harder, but relactation is possible for a lot of women.

Elizaraven Thu 03-May-18 06:32:49

Thanks for the positive words from you all, think I needed that to know I was doing the right thing.

He seems so much more settled on formula, whereas before he would be miserable after after a feed on me he’s now laying here looking up at me with lots of big grins (plus emptying his bowls regularly lol)

I have only just stopped 2 days ago, so I might just try to latch him back on for the evenings & mornings to see how it goes.

Thank you for all for your advice x

OP’s posts: |
HalfStar Thu 03-May-18 11:17:52

Of course, do that! Stopping too suddenly can make you feel really low. Breastfeed as long as you want and give formula whenever you want too. Lots of people combination feed and find it works beautifully with the best of both worlds.

TantieTowie Thu 03-May-18 11:28:27

I believe breastfeeding releases happy chemicals (endorphins?) in you, as the mother, so it would be logical that you might feel low after stopping suddenly. Doing one or two BFs a day might make a big difference with that, and the rest with formula. As you say, before bed or first thing in the morning...

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