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2.5 year old draining life (milk) out of me

(16 Posts)
milkymolly Wed 04-Apr-18 20:01:02

DD 2.5 is addicted to boob. Every time I sit down she cries and asks for booby and I generally say yes as it means I can have some peace and a rest. She also wakes all night wanting nipple. I know I should wean her but she loves it so much i can't bring myself to do it plus I'm scared of life post BF - when she is ill or upset it is a lifesaver...

How do you/did you decide to stop? I need an intervention. Or someone to make me see sense.

OP’s posts: |
Smellyjo Wed 04-Apr-18 20:32:17

Get pregnant!! We've just weaned at 27m because milk dried up and it was pretty painless. Although we were generally only feeding in the morning and when upset or ill beforehand. That's maybe a bit extreme if not in your plans tho lol.

It depends what you want really. There was a stage when she was around 14months that my dh virtually forced me to night wean because I was so crazy with exhaustion but also crazily attached to breastfeeding and her weaning at her own pace. I'm glad he did as it was the point when I learned I could soothe her in other ways (and get a little more sleep - only a little though sadly). Like you I was very afraid of life without bf but none of the steps in the road were that painful, maybe for a few nights but they adjust amazingly well if you are clear and consistent.

If you want to night wean, having dad do the settling for a few nights worked well for us. You can also google dr jay Gordon's method which seems good and gentle.

If you want to continue as you are, she will reduce her feeds herself eventually. There is no 'should wean her' in my mind - ignore those that suggest that. Bf is designed to settle and comfort children in the way you describe so you are doing nothing wrong, of course she loves it because you've done a wonderful thing for her. I really understand the not being sure what to do tho! Even until recently I couldn't decide whether I wanted to try to tandem feed or if that was crazy - I'm kind of grateful that decision was taken out of my hands, although I half expect my little girl to want to start feeding again when baby is born in 5 months!!

milkymolly Wed 04-Apr-18 21:31:26

Thanks for the reply smellyjo! Getting pregnant is how my DS weaned he stopped by himself about 2 weeks before DD arrived - I have been BF with only a 2 week break for 4.5 years now.

I think night weaning definitely needs to happen - just need to get DH on board as he is of the view that she should be day and night weaned by now... how many nights did it take you? And if she woke at 5am could I bring her to bed for booby and a snooze or is that not night weaning?

OP’s posts: |
Smellyjo Wed 04-Apr-18 21:55:41

Ah so you already have another! So how often does she feed in the night now? It's a foggy haze really but I know we went cold turkey with the night weaning as it had gotten to the stage where she'd wake 5-6 times a night looking for boob but it wouldn't even put her to sleep anymore or even feed much. That seems a bit mad now but seemed right at the time. From memory we put her in her own room at similar time and dh went in for 3/4 nights, I know I was terrified of the first night where I'd comfort without boob. It sounds daft but I was reassured that I could tell her crying about it was anger but not trauma or real distress. And I could accept her being angry about it - fair enough. I think after 3/4 nights of that she accepted it and we started alternating the nights we got up to her and sharing it more so that was amazing. Sadly she did continue to wake 3-5 times a night in her own room until 18m where she started cosleeping again full time and started sleeping thru then. It's been a bit stop start since then but she now doesn't wake more than once a night and has been great in own room since 2.

Sorry that's a big story but if you want to feed at 5am it's up to you! I think just make a plan and try to stick to it. I think the jay gordon method is setting yourself times that you won't feed between, i.e. Midnight and 5am, then gradually extending. Maybe try like that if you've a few feeds to drop?

QueenofmyPrinces Thu 05-Apr-18 07:52:23

I stopped Breast Feeding when my DS was 2.5.

We did it by my husband first taking him on holiday for a week in the belief that if he was away from me for that long he’d just forget about breast feeding. However, as soon as they got home he asked for “mummy milk” although he wanted it far, far less than he had before he’d gone away.

About 4 days after they’d gotten back from their holiday I then took our son to Butlins for 5 days with some family/friends and because I had to bedshare with my son he was still feeding overnight. However, because he was so distracted in the day with all the activities to do and all the other children to play with he didn’t once ask for a breast feed.

Once we were home I decided to go cold turkey on the overnight feeds and within a few nights he stopped asking for it and obviously Butlins had already made him feed-free in the day so that wasn’t an issue.

It felt so liberating to not have to breast feed anymore!!

My methods were obviously very extreme though.

I have so much sympathy with you because I have no idea at all how I would have weaned him in normal circumstances.

The best of luck and I hope you see quick results flowers

milkymolly Thu 05-Apr-18 19:53:04

Thanks queen is interesting to hear your journey - maybe I should go away for a week on my own 😂 (tempted...)

Today she was crying for bubbas before her tea and refused to eat - eventually I gave in and let her have it then she ate her food after but I felt guilty as know I shouldn't let her do it. She still ate the same amount as her brother and generally eats more than him so I don't think it effects her solid intake...

OP’s posts: |
milkymolly Thu 05-Apr-18 19:54:03

But a GP told me to stop as toddlers can get anaemia if you BF too long...

OP’s posts: |
RhinestoneCowgirl Thu 05-Apr-18 20:00:27

I fed DS until 2 yrs, then DD until her 4th birthday - totally get the feel that you've been feeding forever

My weaning technique with DS was prenancy wink as has already been suggested.

With DD she was still feeding quite a bit at 2.5, but I could usually manage to distract her when out and about. She used to ask for 'nulk'. I did worry that she had a lot of bf and often didn't eat lots of food. But we muddled through and it came good

breadwidow Thu 05-Apr-18 20:14:33

Sounds to me that thought it's doing your head in, you may not be quite ready to wean yet. Pregnancy was my route to weaning DS & I was at a similar loss with weaning DD. All the gentle methods failed and my sister kept saying to me you don't want to stop yet, when you do you'll know. And then a few more weeks passed and I hits wall & it was cold turkey no boob for DD. She was upset but it didn't last that long (less than a week). I felt bad but not as bad as I had the weeks before iyswim. She was 2 yrs 8 months.

RhinestoneCowgirl Thu 05-Apr-18 20:18:40

I think we had night weaned by 2.5 but it took DH getting involved to make that happen, there was some screaming I'm afraid. DD carried on night waking until nearly 3 yrs.

The early morning bf was the last feed to go with both my children

OhWifey Thu 05-Apr-18 20:22:45

Ultimately it was pregnancy that stopped mine aged 3y 5m. However for a long time before that I gradually introduced limitations. Only bf at home, only in one room, only in one chair etc. This was for day time. For night time I introduced a gro clock for night weaning. Was very gentle (set it at something like 2am first time) and it was successful. For feeding to sleep at bedtime which was the hardest to crack, I used counting. Gradually making the number I counted to smaller and smaller (over a long period). She's still obsessed with my breasts aged 4 y 4 m and likes to tell them stuff, say good night to them etc. But there's no jealousy with her baby sibling thankfully.

QueenofmyPrinces Thu 05-Apr-18 20:40:18

She's still obsessed with my breasts aged 4 y 4 m and likes to tell them stuff, say good night to them etc. But there's no jealousy with her baby sibling thankfully.

That’s adorable!!!

My 4 year old is still obsessed with mine too and likes to stare at them whilst I’m feeding the baby. He’s constantly telling me which breast looks the biggest and so that’s the one I should feed the baby from grin

ivytable Thu 05-Apr-18 20:42:41

With DS it was pregnancy with DD (23 months) we are currently undergoing night weaning...we co-sleep too so for a week I have been sleeping in the spare room...first night was horrendous she was screaming for mummy and milk for hours but neither me or DH gave in. Since then I've not heard her DH says she's still up 3-4 times a night looking for mummy/milk but can be settled quickly with water/dummy. Tonight will be the 7th night I'm not confident to return to our room just yet. I'm not ready to give up day time feeds but could no longer put up with the night feeds.

ShowOfHands Thu 05-Apr-18 20:50:33

My ds was the same. He was obsessed and I couldn't bear it. Every time I stopped moving, he cried and pawed at my top. He was over 3 when I made some new rules. Bedtime only and only in my chair. No other feeds. I was happy to continue but felt suffocated. I only reversed the rules when he was ill. I had to be quite firm but he soon adapted.

sycamore54321 Thu 05-Apr-18 20:59:34

Whatever else you do, you should stop frequent feeds at night. Multiple feeds, however small, are very damaging to the teeth and risk cavities. Best wishes.

sakura06 Thu 05-Apr-18 23:02:01

I feel your pain! My DD is nearly 3, and I would like to stop. Plus, it is now affecting her teeth. With my first, we went on holiday for 5 days and she stayed with her grandparents. However, my second feeds a lot more. I recently went on holiday for 2 nights, but sadly that didn't stop the feeding! Trying to get her to sleep in her own room at the moment. I might also need a longer holiday!

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