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Don't know if I can do this

(10 Posts)
bluechameleon Thu 08-Feb-18 11:08:43

DS2 is 3 days old. DS1 wouldn't latch so this is my first experience of breastfeeding. I'm finding it excruciatingly painful, with each feed hurting more than the last. The midwives said he looked like his latch was fine and there was no sign of tongue tie. At 4am when I was in floods of tears after 6 hrs of near constant feeding DH drove to buy some formula which we gave him with a syringe to give me a little break. I can just about cope with the idea of feeding every couple of hours today but the thought of the night time is filling me with fear. Is it meant to be this bad? How does everyone else cope? I just don't think I can.

tmc14 Thu 08-Feb-18 11:40:15

Hi, sorry you’re having such a tough time. Are you able to get to a local breastfeeding clinic/la Leche group/Lactation consultant/call the breastfeeding helpline (0300 100 0212)? My little boy had a tongue tie missed by the midwives and the support I got from the local clinic about breastfeeding in general was invaluable.
Good luck. xxx

tmc14 Thu 08-Feb-18 11:42:21

Also, I ended up combination feeding and felt so awful about it for a while, but Now both my son & I are happy, healthy & enjoying each other. Please be kind to yourself whatever you end up doing, xxx

Ven83 Thu 08-Feb-18 11:45:53

I'm so sorry. I went through the same, it really is hell. You're doing so well to try and breastfeed your baby through this. I second the suggestion to have a lactation consultant look at the tongue tie and the latch, the improvement could be instant. Midwives are often just not educated enough to recognise and deal with such issues, so don't go by their word alone.

In the mean time you could try nipple shields - they helped me so much with the pain and honestly saved me.

seasidelife Thu 08-Feb-18 21:35:53

Have you got the lanolin stuff? That helped a lot... It is toe curling to begin with but it does get better though it does take a while! There's absolutely nothing wrong with mix feeding, especially at night. You can express or pump to keep your supply going and then you can feed that in a syringe. I was feeding Dd1 every 20mins 24/7 for the first few weeks and wow you don't forget it. It's nice for dh to be involved in the feeding too, it helps with their bond and gives you a break.

Blueskyrain Fri 09-Feb-18 12:58:04

If you don't want to, then you can stop your baby will thrive on whatever milk you give, whether from boob or bottle.

dustpan Sat 10-Feb-18 19:21:03

Hiya so sorry to hear it's so rough, it can just be relentless can't it?

Definitely definitely definitely get someone qualified to check for a tongue tie as soon as u possibility can, if your first couldn't latch that may well have been due to tt and if so as it's partly genetic then it would increase chance that your second has a tt. Both mine had one and couldn't latch and both times midwives told me there was no tt, but only when we got seen by specialist discovered there was.
Mi second the pp who said if you're on the verge of giving up then try nipple shields, they can literally save a bf relationship, however read up on it first as they can bring a mixture of blessings & difficulties

Best of luck

Bananagrabber Sat 10-Feb-18 19:24:13

Nipple shields saved my sanity. Give them a try and let your nipples heal. I'd bet anything the latch isn't quite there - I've had loads of midwives etc day mine is fine but I can tell that changing it slightly makes all the difference. Have a look at kellymom website for advice on the latch.

Annwithnoe Sat 10-Feb-18 19:32:25

Can you arrange to see a qualified lactation consultant? Preferably someone who does just that, rather than a midwife or hv who is also qualified. You need someone with lots of experience. Your hospital should have one that you can request to see.
Every midwife, hv, GP, that I saw told me that my latch was fine. But when I saw the LC it made a world of difference. She also spotted the tongue tie and we were able to get it sorted.
When you get the latch right, and the difference between right and not quite is very subtle, it makes a world of difference. Keep asking for help until you get to that point!!!

ShowgirlnamedLola Sat 10-Feb-18 20:45:58

The midwives say that if it hurts you're not doing it right, but I think that's a load of rubbish! Everyone I know went through a couple of weeks of toe curling pain when they first started to breastfeed. Keep applying the lansinoh stuff after every feed and have breaks here and there so you can heal. I think part of the problem is that their mouths are so tiny making latching awkward. Also the pull/let down can hurt at first. But it will get better if you persevere.
But if it's too much, don't torture yourself and switch to bottle. I'm a big believer in happy Mum, happy baby smile

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