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(7 Posts)
Happygolucky12 Wed 06-Dec-17 12:09:18

My baby is 5 months old and I've wanted to stop breastfeeding since I started. I have kept going because of guilt, peer pressure and not sure how to stop.

My baby is very windy, especially at night and I dont know if formula will make this worse. She loves breastfeeding- it is the only way to calm her down (especially after a bad wind session at night) and she feeds to sleep at night - she was a good sleeper until 4months. I know she isn't ready to stop and this makes me feel so guilty for wanting to stop.

I am beginning to resent my husband as he isn't able to feed her and so has much more freedom. I feel completely trapped and isolated. I have no family or friends who are able to support me and my husband works very long hours. My HV is so pro-feeding I don't want to ask for help. She also refused a dummy and I am unable to get enough milk through expressing.

How do I stop feeding her so that I don't feel guilty and she is happy? I keep saying I am going to stop and then I don't. I told myself it would be over by Christmas and it's not - I feel such a failure......

Anyone experienced this or has any advice?

LapinR0se Wed 06-Dec-17 12:11:52

If you want to stop and it’s making you miserable then stop. You’ve done great to get this far. Soon you will be weaning onto proper food and the baby will get plenty of nutrition from solids as well as milk.

Blahblahblahzeeblah Wed 06-Dec-17 12:14:41

You aren't a failure. You've been amazing wonder and using formula won't stop you being an amazing mum going forwards. I suggest stopping 1 breastfeed at at time, otherwise your boobs will struggle and it'll also be easier for your baby. I got this advice from the local breast feeding support place. You may find if you have a bit more freedom by bringing in formula that you're happy to continue with combination feeding which in my experience health care people seem to overlook. Don't feel bad if you just want to get totally onto formula though!
Has the baby had a bottle before?

Blahblahblahzeeblah Wed 06-Dec-17 12:15:47

Wonder should read so far but I guess it kind of still works!

TheMasterNotMargarita Wed 06-Dec-17 12:24:38

Lots of what blahblah said.
We started letting DH do a bottle of formula in the evening so I could have dinner in peace at about 8 weeks. And that felt amazing!
Kept doing that til 6 months then started cutting out day feeds one at a time week by week as baby was going to nursery 3x days from 8-9m.
I have weeks where I have felt wretched and tired with it but the benefit of having not to make bottle through the night has made up for it.
And with starting nuresry and all the bugs that come along I decided to keep going.
I only feed at night and first thing now. He's 15 months blush.
I never envisaged going on this long and many times found it hard but mixed feeding has been a blessing as I feel we've both had the benefits of both iyswim.

But, that's me. And if its really getting you down then stop. Do it gradually so you don't get engorged. You might find that the little bit of freedom is enough for you to keep going. Or, like my eldest child, baby might get onto the bottle and not want bf anymore (she was 5 months at that point) And then the decision is made for you!

Happygolucky12 Wed 06-Dec-17 12:29:17

Yes - she will take a bottle, combination feeding would be a good place to start. I think it is confidence that I am lacking. She is a good baby I have allowed her to feed to sleep and made a rod for my own back. How quickly do they drop feeds once they start weaning?

TheMasterNotMargarita Wed 06-Dec-17 12:35:39

Mine still feeds to sleep if Im around but is starting to wean himself I think.
They often start to have more/bigger feeds at the start of weaning as milk has more calories than the pureed fruit/ veg they are getting. This coincides with them moving around more so they still need the milk.
For instance, at 15 months a typical day is
: bf on waking/ and often but not always a couple of times at night
Banana and toast or cereal for breakfast
4oz cows milk in a beaker mid morning
Snack and 4oz milk in a beaker
Bf to sleep

If he's ratty and naps are messed up DH would give him a bottle 4/5oz before bed and bring him up.

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