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Overwhelmed breastfeeding 2 yr old(9 Posts)
DS2 is 2 and still bf on demand, which is currently ALL the time! I started doing don't offer don't refuse at 12 months with no impact. DH puts him to bed so no bf then and generally no bf for naps (although I gave in today as just needed a break and he slept in my lap for 1.5 hrs). He feeds at least 3 times overnight and gets up at the crack of dawn, DH does the early morning shift so I get a bit of rest. As soon as i am up the demands for mummy milk begin, I try to put him off each time but he becomes distressed. It used to be the case that if he was occupied e.g at the park he wouldn't even ask but now he asks all the time no matter where we are. He's in a bit of a frustrating phase generally at the moment - throwing, getting cross, refusing food, uninterested in activities so I'm finding it all hard work. I realise everything is just a phase and this will pass but I would like to hear from any of you who've been through this stage and survived and any hints for getting through it. I am keen to wean but worried about making him feel rejected and increasing tantrums etc. Thanks for any input!
It can be overwhelming at that age. If you are doing the don’t offer, don’t refuse I wouldn’t try to distract him when he does ask for it though as that seems to be upsetting him from what you’ve said.
Have you tried setting up one particular place where you breastfeed, like one chair in the sitting room and only Breastfeeding there? Then when you are out you can say, “we only do that at home, have this instead”.
If you are keen to wean and he isn’t, I think you just have to accept that he may be a little upset while you do go through it. Have you talked to one of the Bfing Helplines about reducing feeds or stopping altogether?
And have you read read this on feeding toddlers.
We went through this with my now 3 year old. Eventually we cut down to just the bedtime feed (not without some upset) and then (almost) stopped altogether. It was getting to the point I couldn’t sit down without him clawing at me.
Oh and the tantrums calmed down after (mostly) weaning.
Have you considered night weaning first? Jay Gordon has some good tips for this but lack of sleep won't be helping either of you.
The other thing I want to say is:
It's ok to stop
It's ok to want your body back. It's ok to want to have cuddles without feeding. It's ok to not want to breast feed anymore.
You've done an amazing thing and you should be rightfully proud of yourself and it's alright to move forward onto the next phase now
Thanks all for the advice and kind words. Nan0second - I almost had a little cry at your post - thank you. Have eased off on trying to wean for now for the sake of all our sanities, will try again when he is through this current phase. Planning to try night weaning over Xmas when DH has time off work and I can put myself in DS1's room where DS2 can't smell me!
Are yiu co-sleeping at the moment Clem? Both of mine reduced their night feeds once they went into their own rooms. Didn’t stop completely though...🙂
I put my dd on a timer when she was 18 months old. I was pregnant and suffering from terrible feeding aversion but didn't want to reject her with a new one on the way. I set a timer for three minutes a sides and then reduced by thirty seconds at a time until we were down to 1 minute a side. Much more manageable. I carried on feeding her til she was over three but could have stopped altogether. I used to count her down at the last 10 secs.
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