How to...(8 Posts)
Context: Toddler is almost 2. I have done most bed times as a baby she refused a bottle. Partner works a lot of nights (but also think he is a bit lazy and doesn't want to do it but that's for a different time).
I have an overwhelming feeling that I want to Stop (sick of havung bits of me hanging out. Feel reticent etc).
Asked other half to do more bed times but it hasn't happened so.. I stood firm and tried to do a bottle the other night. It didn't work. Toddler went mental. I was tired and exhausted so caved because i wanted some me time (selfish I know) and some rest.
Sometimes I'm ok with it but feel i would like to know how to stip. Have also asked other half to do more in night as he literally gets her out of cot and planks her on me. His effort really is minimal. Then on a morning (at 6ish) if I refuse to let her suckle she is up but he won't get up with her even though I'm up in the night. So I'm a bit fed up.
Tips welcome please don't just slate other half.
I stopped feeding when my daughter turned 2. I just told her it was all gone and she had a silly cup instead. She cried the first night but was ok after that.
I'm not sure she has that level of comprehension. Did you try it first at bedtime?
She just went mental when I tried it. I'm sick of not getting the help I need to do it from my other half so feel I am going to have to implement it.
I have heard and agree that perhaps the night feed at bedtime shoukd be the last to go. She gets so whinge and whiney and cries that I just can't stand it after nursery whwn I'm trying to sort tea etc
It snot something I speak about publically because im embarrased (I know it's normal and natural yada yada but it's how I feel) also means I have to be the one to out her to bed so if we ever go out which is rare. I have to get her to sleep first
I really needed the help of my DP to stop feeding my 2.5yo. Sorry that's not hugely helpful! He already did some bedtimes but when I was ready I asked him to do at least a week of nights in a row and then that was it without too much fuss.
That said I kept the bedtime feed for quite a while after I night weaned. It was such an easy way to get my DS to sleep (if it wasn't one of those really annoying fussy bedtimes). I would def night wean before dropping the last bedtime feed.
I think the idea is to stop Day feeds first? With distraction and alternatives. It's supposed to take quite some time if you're gong for the no cry method - 2 weeks per feed I think?
I don't know whether it would work to offer rewards for not having breast milk? Sorry is so hard, I dread this - DS is only 11 months but I can totally see this being me in a years time
@happytocomply how did he do nights but you keep the bedtime feed? Do you mean he did the wake ups. This is what I've been saying to my other half she needs to get used to settling with him. He has never done It! At least he used to try but doesnt now.
Night weaning does worry me slightly as it's the easiest way to get her to sleep in the night.
I always did most of the night time wakings TBH as it seemed easier when I was breastfeeding. Night weaned when DS was about 2, when he woke I explained no milk in the night. He mostly accepted it without a huge fuss. Then the only feed left was bedtime which was fine for a few more months, esp when I wasn't feeding at night anymore.
Actual bedtimes we have always split between me and my partner. It's very easy when you are breastfeeding for you to be the default bedtime person but I sometimes work late and sometimes I just wanted to go out! It's maybe a little harder for your partner but there are so many things they can try, cuddles, singing, stories, water (we have a Tommie Tippiee non-spill thing). I know you prob know all that and it's more convincing him!
I was ready to have my body back but I'm still a little sad I stopped although it was time. I also felt the embarrassment more as DS got older, which was daft as no one saw us feed at night. Good luck with whatever you do, you might find if it's just a bedtime feed left it's a useful tool to have for a little longer.
I think i could cope with bedtime feed. But it will be so hard to cut out the one after nursery. She points to the sofa for me to sit down 🤣 she kicks off and sometimes wont eat tea. It's so hard. It isnt just a but of crying. It's constant wailing.
I feel the same like it would be bittersweet but I want my body back. I try to arrange to go out on the one day my other half has her but i work a long day at work so donr see her all day or night then. Your advice and not judging has been great.
I've started to hate my boobs and I'm sick of having them out x
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