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Help- forced apart from my 18 month old

(24 Posts)
Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 20:44:56

Hi I'm currently in hospital as I collapsed yesterday morning, no history of this (usually I man in great health!) and the doctors want to rule out stuff that may explain why this happened. My 18 month old has been breast fed all his life, never taken the bottle and isn't keen on milk from a cup, though he does like yoghurt and cheese. Recently, as I am back at work, he typically breast feeds a lot late afternoon, bedtime, nighttime (we co-sleep) and in the morning.
My husband brought him to me yesterday but this was against the hospital rules and in any case he didn't want to feed, to be honest he hasn't fed out the house for ages.
I have been given a breast pump to express to relieve the discomfort / keep up my supply, with the milk being chucked out.
Anyone got any advice or hopeful stories- I am desperate to get out asap and so don't want this to be the end of bf, but if I'm apart from him for my longer I worry he will forgot how to do it or not want to anymore...

nicknamehelp Thu 05-Oct-17 20:53:48

Firstly get yourself right u will be no use to him ill.

Secondly dont worry about him getting enough calcium he will.

Thirdly yes it may or may not be the end of bf but you've done amazing doing it this long it will not be an end to the love you all share.

N0RA Thu 05-Oct-17 21:00:53

Please try not to worry about the BF. Both your supply and babies need to Bf are well established by now and will cope with a few days apart. He won't forget.

As soon as you get home and back in your usually routine he will pick up where he left off.

Are you sure it's against hospital rules for an 18 mo to visit his mother in hospital ? Are you in the uK ? I've never heard of toddlers not being allowed in an adult ward, although they are often not allowed on children's wards in the winter due to RSV. Most hospitals in the UK are supposed to be Bf friendly .

Hopefully you will get home soon flowers

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 21:05:51

It really shouldn't be against the rules to breastfeed your own baby in hospital. Is this the UK?! It might be possible to persuade him to breastfeed if you aren't feeling like it is furtive and forbidden - hardly conducive to a relaxing snuggle. If you are ok UK personally I'd be raising merry hell with PALS, they can't stop a toddler visiting its mother- some people are in hospital for months, are they not supposed to see their kids the entire time?!

Really hope you are better and home soon.

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 21:06:28

In UK not ok uk!

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:07:59

Hi thanks for the replies. Nora yes I'm in the uk, no kids under 12 allowed on this ward cos of risk of infection (to them). My toddler is typically very distracted on places like this, as I say I don't think he has fed out of the house for months. I guess I need to keep pumping to keep my supply up, it's hard work tho and seems to take way longer to empty the breast than my efficient little feeder does. I do hope you are right and he will pick up where he left off...

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:08:34

Sorry I mean frog soup!

Hmmalittlefishy Thu 05-Oct-17 21:10:42

Did a member of staff say it was against hospital rules or was it a written note somewhere?
Did you / your dh explain the baby was there to be fed
Why are you throwing the milk away? Your baby may take it from a cup or bottle if your dh can try again and you aren't there or even just freeze it.
Concentrate on getting well though op that's the best thing you can do

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:12:25

A member of staff said that was the policy but in practice they let my husband bring him in briefly. However he wouldn't feed, I think he was confused by the unfamiliar place and time of feeding and distracted by the lights and noise. We didn't try today.

Hmmalittlefishy Thu 05-Oct-17 21:13:02

Oops cross post.
It will take longer to pump than a baby feeds but don't worry about that or the amount you are getting off.
Are you able to leave the ward to feed in a side room/day room etc
As pp said hospitals should be breastfeeding friendly and patients often leave to smoke

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:13:28

I should ask about keeping the milk, like you say he might take some from his beaker.

rollerbladersrule Thu 05-Oct-17 21:14:34

If you express whilst you are away and just get DH to 'offer' milk and water at home he will hopefully just continue to feed from you when you are home.

Its tough and I know how you feel as 14 month old DS has only ever been breastfed and also wont take it from a cup/bottle but we have recently spent an overnight and day apart as DD was in hospital and he just had water in my absence and fed fine when home.

Very worst case scenario you have done amazingly getting to 18 months and if he does refuse or stop now he has had so much goodness from you so please relax and focus on getting well flowers

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:15:53

I can't leave as I am hooked up to some heart monitor and apparently in due course will be getting antiobiotics and antivirals (that supposedly aren't ok for babies)

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Thu 05-Oct-17 21:17:25

Thanks so much for the replies- means a lot, feel very alone and unsupported right now

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 22:14:52

That sounds really tough, you poor thing! Yes 18 months is a good old stint. But I know how painful giving up before you are ready can be, and if it isn't making you too knackered then pumping is a good option - you don't get as much out but it'll still keep your supply going. Re antibiotics/antivirals, I think there's a helpline you can ring re breastfeeding and medicine safety - apparently often doctors' advice on what is supposedly unsafe is precautionary and not evidence-based. Odds are he'll start up again where he left off when you get home. If not, it does feel like a huge deal at the time but in a few years' time it won't feel so important. flowers

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 22:15:56

Link to helpline here []]

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 22:16:10

gah, sorry, link fail

frogsoup Thu 05-Oct-17 22:17:44

oh bugger, sorry, I really should have read the link properly before posting - just noticed that it actually says they are phasing out the helpline and ask you to email instead. Might be easier from hospital anyway I guess!

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Fri 06-Oct-17 00:31:58

Thank you so much for your kind and informative messages. I've just emailed that organisation, hoping for a response before docs do the rounds tomorrow!

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Fri 06-Oct-17 20:29:04

Update: in case anyone in a similar situation reads this, I came home tonight and my toddler fed as if I hadn't been away for nearly 3 days. What a relief

Ahhhcantthinkofag00dname Fri 06-Oct-17 20:31:23

Ps had a response from the organisation frogsoup suggested confirming I could bf on the drugs I was prescribed

Dildals Fri 06-Oct-17 20:47:28

I appreciate your back from hospital but if anyone else reads this thread and is in the same position, they should find the infant feeding advisor for the hospital. Most/all hospitals are signed up to the baby friendly hospital initiative and they should really make a good stab at supporting your breastfeeding! If you need help tracking down who the infant feeding advisor is for your hospital then google MatExp on FB and ask on there. (Or DM me and I will put you in touch with our all knowing Knight of All Things Breastfeeding) ;)

Hmmalittlefishy Sat 07-Oct-17 07:45:35

Really pleased you're back home and ds is back feeding. It seems neither of you were ready to stop
Keep well flowers

N0RA Sun 08-Oct-17 09:52:24

That's great news, OP, thanks for the update. Best wishes for a speedy recovery .

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