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Feeding dilemma

(9 Posts)
Becciboo19 Wed 04-Oct-17 23:16:22

Hi all,

My LG is 16 days old and I have been EBF but I've hit a point where Im really considering stopping. I'm finding it all very stressful and the support given by midwives and health visitors is just to keep going because 'breast is best'. I'm feeling sore and down in the dumps. Last night I woke up soaked through I'd leaked so much and had to change my pj's abd bed sheets. I'm also really uncomfortable feeding in front of others (something I cant see changing) so am finding that I'm avoiding visitors and constantly stressing when people come round that she'll want to feed. My husband has suggested I start expressing and giving her breast milk from the bottle to help with this but I know it's a not as simple as that. I feel like a failure for considering stopping.
I'm looking for any advice/ support before I give up altogether!


pastabest Wed 04-Oct-17 23:27:31

Ok. Well at 16 days old everything is very very new. Your supply will be all over place, your daughter won't have much of a routine etc and it is all a bit stressful and sore. I remember various people turning up and Not Fucking Leaving when I was trying to establish breastfeeding in the early days.

But it will all settle down, it's not going to be like this forever I promise. The visitors dry up for a start, the soreness stops being sore and it becomes comfy (like wearing in a pair of shoes) and you daughter and your supply will start to get into a routine.

These are the bewildering early weeks and although it feels never ending now you will look back in a few weeks time and it will all be a bit of a blur.

I managed night time leaks by wearing a comfy nursing soft bra thing with fabric breast pads and sleeping on a towel.

But after all that if breastfeeding isn't for you that is also ok. I made it to 4.5 months and surprised myself how much of a relief it was to stop.

MollysMummy2010 Wed 04-Oct-17 23:32:41

I expressed as baby was in scbu but once home it was bottle. Baby would not latch at all. Do what you need for a happy mum and a happy baby.

Callamia Wed 04-Oct-17 23:45:54

The early few weeks are hard.
I have a two month old (and a three year old), and is forgotten how much it can hurt; latch and let down.

The good news is that this is temporary. You won't leak for long (but you can get very good pads anyway), and the discomfort will lessen fairly quickly.

I'm not sure what to tell you about the feeling of not enjoying feeding in front of others, but as your baby gets more expert, you'll need to spend much less time 'uncovered'. At the start, it feels like a circus just to get the baby to latch, but they learn and get bigger, and can control their bodies to make it work. You can also get some fairly decent breastfeeding clothes now )second hand ones are usually in v good condition too).

It IS hard work at first, but it does get better quite quickly. I remember sobbing about feeding my eldest, and my best friend said that by 8 weeks, it would be easy. I wanted to punch her - 8 weeks felt like forever. But she was right - and I'm pleased that I persevered.

I don't have some crusade about breast being best - feed your baby however you see fit. But I do think it's reasonable to tell you that it gets better pretty soon, and that it IS hard at the beginning. It just always feels like a shame to do the really hard bit, and then not the easier bit.

pastabest Thu 05-Oct-17 10:11:08

Hi Becci are you feeling any better about things today?

Becciboo19 Thu 05-Oct-17 14:29:09

Thanks for all your advice, it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way! I can't help but feel like a failure.
Today's been tricky again, I feel like she's fed constantly and I'm still feeling very sore. I'm trying to take it one feed at a time...which is easier said than done!

2014newme Thu 05-Oct-17 14:29:57

Don't beat yourself up.. Switch to formula if it is better for you.

pastabest Thu 05-Oct-17 15:11:00

I remember really really dreading feeds at some points in the early days. Mainly tiredness as much as soreness. Are you using plenty of lansinoh? Has your daughter been checked for any latch issues or tongue tie etc? Is she definitely feeding constantly or is there an element of comfort sucking involved (a dummy can help with this if you want to go down that road)

I live fairly rurally but there was still a weekly breastfeeding support group, is there anything like that near you?

Formula isn't poison it will feed your baby just fine. The benefits of breastfeeding and associated antibodies/ immunity etc are just an extra on top of being fed.

From what I remember it's the evening and night time feeds that are the ones that are important for supply. If you think that just a break is what you need perhaps try a bottle around lunchtime / afternoon and go back to breastfeeding for the evening.

Kellymom is also an excellent breastfeeding resource online that I found helpful.

You really aren't a failure, but you do need to look after yourself. When I was really struggling in the first few weeks I would treat myself to a nice big glass of wine and a slab of chocolate cake in the evening. It really helped me feel human and normal again rather than a great big milk machine. Send DP to go and get you something you want as a treat.

Jignisha Thu 05-Oct-17 20:11:22 This has some great advise on breastfeeding if you are looking to pre prepare

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