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Infant feeding

That ever present 'bottle refuser' thread... please help!!

20 replies

HT85 · 07/08/2017 12:09

Hi all

My daughter is 6 months. I have pretty much flat out given up on giving her a bottle as it has never worked, tried all the tricks in the book. One night I left her with my mum and loads of milk and hoped for the best but had to come back as she sobbed for an hour (my mum was naughty and didn't tell me straight away as wanted to persevere).

Anyway, I'm starting to get a bit deperessed and feel isolated. I am desperate to just have the occasional night out - I want to feed her long term (2+ years if she so decides) but the idea of never being able to leave her at bedtime fills me with utter dread.

She is 6 months and not yet that fussed with solids although has some. DH and I have a night out booked in October when she'll be almost 9 months and I imagine having more solids, has anyone had any success leaving their bottle refuser for an evening once baby is actually eating more? I want this night out to be something to aim for. Perhaps a nice filling evenig meal and I'll obviously feed her before I go, and maybe a walk in the buggy will do it?

Any success stories please!

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HT85 · 07/08/2017 16:04

Anyone?!

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Firstaidnovice · 07/08/2017 16:11

I'm sure someone more helpful will be along in a minute. I had two bottle refusers, the youngest is now 3 though, so it's a bit hazy.
Firstly, I presume you've tried all the different brands? We had an absolutely enormous bottle collection at one point. I think Nuk, or mam was the best, in that one of my children once took about one ounce from one...
I think eventually I gave up on bottles, and also sippy cups, rubber spouted cups, etc. The only thing they would drink from other than my boob was a doidy cup. It's open, so messy, but maybe because it's not trying to replicate breastfeeding it works? That combined with solids made it possible to spend time away from them eventually.
Also, easy for me to say in hindsight (I was extremely stressed about this at the time), but they change so much in a few months, by the time your night out rolls around things will be totally different.

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Firstaidnovice · 07/08/2017 16:11

Good luck!

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2014newme · 07/08/2017 16:15

Will she drink from a cup

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HT85 · 08/08/2017 09:53

@2014newme no not really - free flowing gets some milk into her but she tends to bat it away and get upset if you keep trying

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HT85 · 08/08/2017 09:55

@firstaidnovice thanks for your help. Yes have a museum of unused bottles (and dummies) - also have the doidy cup but she just doesn't seem to understand that it's for drinking out of!

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pizzakat · 08/08/2017 09:56

Also had a bottle refuser I couldn't leave, tried zillions of bottles without success, then bought a pack of 3 from ASDA for £2.75 and she took to them straight away.

Worth a try for a couple of quid Flowers

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HT85 · 08/08/2017 10:03

@pizzacat that's interesting you say that as someone did say to me sometimes they just like the cheapest non fussy bottles!

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McBaby · 08/08/2017 11:22

My bottle refuser never took a bottle. We tried for months with every bottle going.I gave up at six months and tried doidy plus you can leave them with yogurt which can be spooned and water no need to get them to take a bottle or not leave them for bed time.

With dd2 I never tried giving her a bottle and it was fine.

Dd3 is currently 3 months tried a bottle a couple of times with zero interest. She comes out with me in the evenings and I know she can be left for the evening when she starts eating!

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parmavioletmartini · 08/08/2017 11:26

My bottle refuser eventually took a mam bottle at 9 months morning and night.
Interestingly (unlike most people) she still dosnt like having milk from DH or anyone else and won't drink so much. If you haven't tried the mam ones I would really recommend them.

She only took the bottle after 4 days after stopping breastfeeding. She had no milk for the first 2 days and then she started having a small amount and then really loved the bottles once she got used to it.

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HT85 · 08/08/2017 11:57

@McBaby that's great so how did you find leaving DD1 at bedtime once solids were established? Much distress? That's the thing I'd like to avoid if possible I gues but it's mostly about the comfort of the boob!

@parmavioletmartini so did you go cold turkey then? At what age? I'm assuming baby was well established on solids?

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parmavioletmartini · 08/08/2017 13:36

Yeah she was eating 3 meals a day and snacks. The health visitor suggested it because I really wanted to give up breastfeeding and she kept biting me!

She seemed annoyed and we offered the bottle every time. We just had to do breakfast as soon as we got up. I also had a list of high calcium foods and I was all prepared to get the calcium into her other ways. But actually it went much smoother than I had anticipated. Obviously the first few days were tough but after a week she had forgotten about it.

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parmavioletmartini · 08/08/2017 13:37

9 months.

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CryingShame · 08/08/2017 13:42

I went back to work when my bottle refuser was 9 months old. He had milk from me and water in a free flowing tippy cup at nursery / when with anyone else.

I'd get your family to get her used to having water with them and milk with you, then she won't be expecting milk if she stays with your mum. Maybe get your mum to try her with yoghurt nearer the time if she needs dairy at bedtime?

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dodecahedronandonandon · 08/08/2017 18:05

I so sympathise! I had a bottle refuser, tried so many options, even various boob-like bottles but no joy, doidy didn't do trick either, mini 'Babycup first cups' was best, then used them for my next little one too as a weaning cup so has had a lot of use and been a lifesaver!

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hungrywalrus · 11/08/2017 16:00

He didn't understand bottles but worked out the nuk straw cup. I had to cut it open a bit to remove the anti spill valve but it's working very well. I realised he understood how to get food out of a pouch so it wasn't so different to do it with a straw. They are also ok for the microwave steriliser.

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User0ne · 11/08/2017 16:59

I have a 10m bottle refuser. In fact it's worse than that - if anyone attempts to give him milk (expressed or formula) out of anything other than a boob he then won't drink anything from whatever it was (eg sippy cup) until he's forgotten about the milk.

Presumably you've started weaning? If so then it won't be long now till you can leave them for a decent stretch anyway. Once I found a couple of things they'll eat regardless of mood I could leave them with that (currently boursin or yoghurt). Even if my LO is screaming his head off, put some in his mouth, give him a couple of seconds and he starts to lap it up. Thus I can have an evening without him :D

I know it's difficult but you have to be patient, another couple of months isn't really that long in the overall scheme of things.

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Greylilypad · 11/08/2017 21:17

Same as Parma, I had a bottle refuser. We really really tried everything around the 3-5 month mark and nothing worked. Bought loads of different bottles, left her with her dad, mil, best friend (for v short amounts of time) but she went nuts and I always had to feed her then. Found it really stressful as she would not sleep ever without being fed to sleep and woke every 2 hours for months so really couldn't go anywhere.
Months later she eventually took a Mam bottle. Around 9 months, she was well established on solids and I went to an afternoon tea thing with friends. DH tried the bottle and she took some. After that we gave her a bottle a day and she took no problem. Continued to breastfeed for another 5 months and then gave up.

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museumum · 11/08/2017 21:21

I got my bottle refuser onto a cup at about this age. Then at around 9mo I stated giving him a cup of milk during his bedtime story with dad and then doing a bf after but pretty soon after he stopped taking the bf and then started sleeping through 🎉
Shortly after that he was fine to be left. By then we were only bf in the morning though which he stopped at about 14/15mo.
If you really want to bf to 24mo+ then this might not be the right route for you.

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Chantal93 · 11/08/2017 21:32

When we were in SCUBU with my first the nurses there advised cheap bottles from asda as baby's that have been in the baby unit tend to be fussy they said the cheaper bottles never failed xx

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