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Infant feeding

you let your baby fall asleep at the breast and you're surprised she wakes up at night?

28 replies

Jenkeywoo · 26/03/2007 22:55

This is what the paediatrician said to me today - I replied that we're co-sleeping so night feeds are not so bad anyway but it did get me thinking if it's possible to have a baby who falls asleep breastfeeding and yet sleeps really well? DD falls asleep at the breast and then wakes up a couple of times a night and is sometimes settled by DH but sometimes needs a feed - no big deal really - she was one today . So tell me about your breastfed babies - does anyone have that magical little one who falls asleep feeding and then sleeps through? is it possible? For the record I'm not sure I know how to get DD to not fall asleep feeding - she has always from day one had this habit of falling into a deep sleep the second she latches on - I have tried the NCSS 'gentle removal technique' and it just hasn't worked for us. I just accept that she likes to fall asleep snuggled on really, I was just interested to know if I'm the only one!

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TooTicky · 26/03/2007 23:07

I have co-slept with all 4 of mine and bf them on demand day and night. Tbh, I don't know exactly when any of them slept through as the night feeds are done in a very sleepy state. Just enjoy it - they grow up too quickly.
Stopping bfing to sleep was only an issue with my ds1 as I stopped bfing him earlier than the others (18m) because he was so hungry and I was feeling so drained and with no bf support - we had several nights of crying, cuddling and singing and it was pretty awful at the time but we got through it. Dd1 and ds2 were easier as we stopped later. Dd2 (20m) is still bfing and co-sleeping. Sorry if this is a bit rambly.

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Ronniebaby · 26/03/2007 23:21

Both my DS's were BF and DS1 slept thru from 6 weeks, DS2 from 8 weeks.

In both cases, they were bf and fell asleep on the breast and remained asleep. and even moved mouths away from breast.

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rowan1971 · 26/03/2007 23:23

I bf-d ds1 to sleep and co-slept until he was 20 months - have to say he did seem to sleep more soundly once weaned (we continued co-sleeping for a few months afterwards). Still bf-ing and co-sleeping with ds2, just had 2nd birthday. If you want to night-wean, try Dr William Sears (google him, he's got his own site). Haven't tried it myself, but he comes recommended.

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littleEasterlapin · 26/03/2007 23:25

We don't co-sleep, but DS (almost 1) almost always falls asleep on the breast and sleeps through for around 11 hours . We've just dropped the last feed (well, replaced it with cows milk) and he is still sleeping through... no idea what all this means, but there is hope!

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kiskidee · 26/03/2007 23:33

like you jenkeywoo. enjoy it while it lasts.

another health professional who needs to be lined up against a wall and shot.

somebody pass me my rifle...




!Fuego!

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harpsichordcarrier · 26/03/2007 23:54

yes. dd1 was bf to sleep and slept from 12-6am from 6 weeks, and from 7-6am from 12 weeks.
gradually I put her down when she was less and less sleepy.
dd2 - ah well that's another story .
imo - some children sleep. some children don't. I come to the conclusion there isn't much we can do to influence it

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mrsjohnsim · 26/03/2007 23:57

as another poster has said, i think you get given babies that sleep, or babies that don't
you can do your best to help them, but in the end they do what they do...until they surprise you and start doing something else that is!

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katelyle · 27/03/2007 00:00

I agree, harpsichordcarrier(do you, btw?) I think we worry too much about making babies fit schedules and timetables, when they are really just little animals with animal needs and everybody's interests are best served by meeting those needs as quickly and fully as possible.

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heya123 · 27/03/2007 00:04

i have bf and co slept with my ds scine birth and still do now he is 1 next week,
he falls asleep at the breast and always has done, i guess its a comfort thing, he does not sleep through and wakes 2-3 times a night but it does not seem a bad thing to me!
tbh i find that alot of people 9health visitors and a few friends with older children) have the opinion that its a bad thing that he still co sleeps and wakes during the night but it works for us and we are happy with it so i have learned to listen to peoples advice but just carry on the way we are untill i feel that it should change!

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terramum · 27/03/2007 00:18

DS was a magic baby....started sleeping through (roughly 10-11ish right through to 7-8ish am) at 8 weeks, only waking once or twice a night when he was teething or having a growth spurt (which he is currently doing this week ). We didnt do anything special, no training so techniques, he just did it. We didnt co-sleep though as DH smoked back then so not sure if that made a difference but he has always fed to sleep and still does now at 2yrs 8months. He did cluster feed a LOT in the evenings (generally I spent all my evening from supper to betime, in front of the tv!) so maybe that saw him through....but who knows.

TBH I do think it is very unusual for babies, both ff and bf, to not wake in the night....you only have to read a few parenting forums to see that! I know I felt a little like a leper amongst other mums when the subject came round to sleep . I just keep saying that he has eased me into motherhood & my #2 (whenever that happens) will probably be a "normal" baby

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chipmonkey · 27/03/2007 00:20

As a matter of interest was the paediatrician male or female?

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nachomama · 27/03/2007 00:23

Thank you fellow MNers and co-sleepers . I am about to tuck in under the covers with DS next to me and his daddy (baby sleeps on top of duvet between us with his own set of blankets). I feel as if I should be made to feel ashamed by many for our co-sleeping ways, especially by the likes of the established health/ baby-care community. I had no intention of having baby in the bed with us; but that's what happened because that was what was right for us. He is not at all a sleeper-through at 9 months. He never has been. Some nights are good...others: last night he was on 4 times (from 8-7), and he'd eaten really well that day. Other nights, it's once at about 11 and then not again till 5 or 6. It was no different when he was in his own bed (albeit in our room). The only difference is now I don't have to be arsed getting up to get him- he just snuggles in. He seems happy and a truly contented baby, waking in the morning looking back and forth between his father and I, smiling so purely and lovingly. I wouldn't have it any other way.

p.s. the Dr Sears site is good. I've stock-piled it as ammo vs MIL who thinks baby might be better raised by wolves at times.

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kiskidee · 27/03/2007 09:18

Here is what an american comedien called Paul Rieser had to say about babies and sleep:

?Getting your child to sleep becomes a blinding obsession. I myself would often loose sight of the larger picture.What is the actual goal here? Constant sleep? No awake time? Zero consciousness?
I mean, we must accept that at some point babies have to be awake.They did not come to the planet just to sleep. Are we determined to get them asleep just so we can get a taste of what life was like before we had a kid?
Because, if we are, then why did we have a kid? Just to lie there to look soft and fuzzy? We could have gotten, say, just a peach. A St Bernard? A narcoleptic houseguest? Or why not just a chenille bathrobe? Chenille bathrobes are fuzzy and just lie there??

Here are 2 websites with fantastic articles about sleep and children.

here most of the articles are referenced.

and this one

the quote above is part of a really good ppt presentation which are summaries of a lot of things he researches.

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oliveoil · 27/03/2007 09:25

both mine were breastfed to sleep - in fact, show me a baby who DOESN'T fall asleep feeding. Where? Nowhere. Because they are cuddled and calm and comfy and naturally fall asleep.

Dd1 has always been a good sleeper, dd2 is still a pita .

I stopped feeding mine at about 6 months or so (they went in their own rooms then) and dd1 didn't ever feed again in the night, dd2 had the odd bottle until about a year iirc

You can try your routines and then they get a cold/start teething/growth spurt and it all goes out the window

write off the first year!

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chirpygirl · 27/03/2007 09:35

I was ready to come on here and have a go! DD always fell asleep during a feed, because, as oliveoil said, she was comfy and cosy and warm, who wouldn't fall asleep!

Personally I would rather have a baby that I know will fall asleep on the breast than one I couldn't get back to sleep...since I stopped feeding DD it's been a bloody nightmare getting her back to sleep when she wakes up!

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cathcart · 27/03/2007 09:43

my dd falls asleep feeding, always has, she drops off the nip as soon as asleep then I give her a minute or two before popping her in her cot.She then sleeps for up to 4 1/2 hours before waking for next feed! I'm hoping she will eventually sleep through but she's still only 7wks - i consider myself very lucky so far and am not going to push it!
I don't see it as a problem.

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oliveoil · 27/03/2007 09:45

I used to move mine v-e-r-y c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y back into their cots and it worked

then they get a bit bigger and stir but still kept asleep

creep away quietly

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Olissa · 27/03/2007 16:23

I agree that you either get given a baby that sleeps through or one that doesn't and it's luck more than anything.

I don't usually co-sleep with DS any more (I did when he was new, and recently when I was on holiday and didn't have a travel cot) but even when he's in the bed with me, he falls asleep feeding and stays asleep.

Usually, I feed him lying down, carefully roll away, and leave him on the bed until I want to go to sleep in it!

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Tatties · 27/03/2007 20:37

My ds is coming up to 2, still sleeps with us, and still feeds at night. It works for us, and I'm sure he will grow out of it when he is ready. You are not alone!

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Jacanne · 27/03/2007 20:45

I remember reading in my child's "red book" that you should never let your child fall asleep on the breast and that when you put them down to sleep you should jostle them slightly so that they wake up a little - and I remember thinking "yeah right!" My eldest would only feed to sleep but slept around about 5 hours at a time. Now she is no longer BF but does sleep 12 hours solid a night and has done since she was 18 months. My youngest never fed to sleep - always went down awake but up to a year woke every 2 hours for a feed. She now manages 3 out of 7 nights all the way through but wakes for one feed on the others. Both of them slept with us for at least part of the night.

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Jenkeywoo · 27/03/2007 21:50

Thanks everyone - and wow to all those little ones who sleep so well! and thank goodness for the ones who don't! poor DH is upstairs with her now as I have refused to profer a breast again for a while as she was so full up she was practically gagging on the milk!! The paediatrician who said that was a woman and I think she may have been a bit tongue in cheek as she knew I'm a very proud breastfeeder not to be messed with - DD was even wearing her fab t-shirt which states 'I like milk from my mummy, just not any old cow'!! MIL hates it which is a double bonus.

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dressedupnowheretogo · 27/03/2007 21:55

where did you get thhat t shirt from i would like one

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Jenkeywoo · 27/03/2007 22:23

www.lactivist.co.uk

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bunnypeculiar · 27/03/2007 22:27

kiskidee - fabulous - thanks for that!!

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katelyle · 27/03/2007 22:31

I've just remembered that I used to find it easier to detach a sleeping baby without waking it up if I released the suction by sliding a WET finger between my breast and the baby's mouth. It seemed to make a big difference. I offer the thought for what it's worth....

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