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How do I drop feeds and/or stop bf?

(15 Posts)
Littlefoxy Thu 09-Mar-17 10:59:43

DD is 14 weeks. BF was hard for me psychologically as well as physically but we've persevered and after mix feeding a lot to begin with she's now exclusively on breast milk. I've reached a point where I desperately want my body back & I think I'd like to switch to formula over the next month or so. DP & I decided I'd drop a night feed (3am). DD takes bottles no problem so she drank lots but then wouldn't settle, looked for me & screamed till I let her latch. We then tried the 10pm feed the next day with expressed breast milk & same thing. We hadn't realised she now wants me for comfort & won't settle without. She never used to mind if DP fed her, she'd still go to sleep. Does anyone have advice on how I can encourage her to settle without me? I want to be able to go out & DP settle her. But her crying broke my heart. Should I start with dropping day feed instead? Her day eating is in less of a pattern so harder to plan for.

Chocolatedreamsandtea Fri 10-Mar-17 10:16:37

Why not just continue to feed your baby the way she wants? She's only a baby for a year - do you really want to go our drinking that much that you'll upset her to do so?
I've every support for people that bottle feed because they can't breastfeed or need to go back to work etc. But here you just fancy putting yourself first - why not prioritise your daughters needs rather than your own for s little while longer?! You chose to have her.

Chocolatedreamsandtea Fri 10-Mar-17 10:18:58

I'm sorry - that's harsh but why battle so hard to breastfeed just to give it up?! It gets easier from 3/4 months - in a few months she'll be weaning and you can drop feeds then? It really does give them long term health benefits and it's clearly the way she wants to bond with you.

Chocolatedreamsandtea Fri 10-Mar-17 10:20:54

To settle at night - try rocking - during day and at night. You might have to do it at first but then your dp might be able to help after a while as she accepts this as a way to go to sleep.
Also - a dummmy? She might take that as comfort sucking rather than you.

ElspethFlashman Fri 10-Mar-17 10:25:13

Hey chocolate here's a massive FUCK OFF for ya.

Christ.

Pumpkin16 Fri 10-Mar-17 10:33:52

Why not trying dropping the day feeds first, one at a time? Night time feeds are always harder to stop IMO.

It'll be better for your milk production too, dropping it gradually. Good luck with it smile

Littlefoxy Fri 10-Mar-17 13:58:12

Thanks Pumpkin I'm not in a massive hurry so one at a time is fine. I thought day might be easier as she'll be more distracted. We actually tried the early evening feed yesterday & went okay so will stick with that for a week & see how I go. It's nice for her & DP if shes happy for him to do her last feed of the day.
chocolate my mother breast fed me for 5 weeks. I have a first class degree & no health issues. I can tell you exactly how many times I've lamented her not feeding me for longer; zero. Feeding is a small part of motherhood. It's also about modelling values like kindness, empathy, being non judgemental. You might want to consider the long term benefits of you changing the way you speak to people.

Chocolatedreamsandtea Fri 10-Mar-17 15:15:09

Not being judgemental - you said you wanted to stop feeding because you wanted to go on nights out.

Chocolatedreamsandtea Fri 10-Mar-17 15:17:03

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Alyosha Fri 10-Mar-17 15:34:23

OP is simply suggesting that shock horror someone else could feed her baby so that she can escape the house for a couple of hours and maintain a life outside her baby.

I really don't see how that's going to harm her child...

Bue Fri 10-Mar-17 16:30:23

Couldn't you try a dummy to settle her and continue to BF? You could also mix feed if you want. It just seems a bit of a shame to stop at this point when you've persevered so well. BF is just so easy once you get past the initial months!

Bue Fri 10-Mar-17 16:32:11

If you do want to fully stop I'm afraid I don't have much advice though. DD never used the boob to settle! I know it can be very frustrating, from friends who had that issue.

beargrass Fri 10-Mar-17 16:54:00

I've no advice as I went cold turkey. Mine was younger than yours tho and she accepted it (didn't seem to care, so long as she was fed!). The NCT BF helpline was really hit and miss I found, just in case you were gonna call them for help. You might get lucky or you might not. One of my midwives was clearly pissed off with the 'advice' they gave me! So if you can, you may want to see if you can get help on this perhaps from your HV? I am assuming your midwife's discharged you.

BF is really bloody hard. Well done for getting to 14 weeks. And well done for dealing with those fucking ridic comments, too. Some people hmm

ElspethFlashman Fri 10-Mar-17 17:08:05

I went cold turkey too both times. Gobbled Sudafed to reduce milk supply and stocked up on dummies. Honestly it was a massive relief to just quit.

But I won't lie, my boobs were like footballs for the first two days and I had to hand express off the excess. But after two days I didn't have to do that anymore. They were back to normal after a week. Don't know how long it would have taken without the Sudafed though.

beargrass Fri 10-Mar-17 17:25:07

Yes. Also took sudafed. It has to be the kind with pseudoephedrine hydrochloride in though. I also slept upright as had an idea that crushing my boobs could cause blockages. But then I wasn't thinking straight...!! Worked tho

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