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D-mer and quitting breastfeeding :(

(9 Posts)
opalescent Thu 02-Mar-17 13:12:05

Does anyone have personal experience of this?
I really can't find a huge amount online..
I feel certain that I am experiencing D-mer, and am thinking about switching to formula feeding as a result.
I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness/hollowness/ anxiety during the first part of each feed, but also anytime I get a random letdown, and also even some times when I hear my baby cry. I am absolute fine the rest of the time.
It's really unpleasant and I am starting to dread it.

In every other way feeding has been lovely! Baby is 4 weeks old.

Does anyone know whether this is something that will go away eventually?

Thank you.

OP’s posts: |
PotteringAlong Thu 02-Mar-17 13:14:45

I've fed 3 children for a long time and I have to say I'd never heard of this. It sounds horrible. No advice but am bumping for someone else to see it.
@ticktok might be able to help you?

PotteringAlong Thu 02-Mar-17 13:15:25

@tiktok sorry! I got her username wrong!

Hedgeh0g Thu 02-Mar-17 13:16:25

I read this recently, it was shared in a breastfeeding group I belong to:

A few people responded and said that they'd had it but it got better at around 4-6 months. How old is your baby?

Hedgeh0g Thu 02-Mar-17 13:17:45

Oh sorry, I see you said, 4 weeks. Still time for it to get better then, and maybe also worth talking to your GP (but you might need to point them towards some research as the article says)

opalescent Thu 02-Mar-17 14:05:13

Thank you both, and thank you for the link hedgehog , that's interesting to know. It seems to be something that really isn't on most people's radar at all!!

OP’s posts: |
pigsknickers Fri 03-Mar-17 08:30:16

I had never heard of this but it's exactly what I had! I remember trying to describe it as feeling sad, and really queasy for the first few minutes of a feed. He's 6 months now and I definitely haven't felt it for quite a while, I can't say exactly when it went away. Good luck with your journey whatever you end up doing.

Littlefoxy Thu 09-Mar-17 10:46:14

Hi I had this. I absolutely hated breast feeding, it made me feel queasy, sad, anxious. Like my body was broken in some way. I likened it to the feeling you might get if you look at a bad injury on yourself; a feeling of it being unnatural & grotesque.
I had a traumatic birth after which I developed anxiety problems & was troubled by intrusive thoughts that my baby would be harmed by something I was doing. My friend is a breast feeding support worker & suggested my aversion to breast feeding could be linked to that. At around 8 weeks I started talking to professionals about my mental health & within a few weeks I'd addressed my anxiety issues & the problems with breast feeding evaporated. I can't say I enjoy it as such but I definitely don't have any of the uncomfortable feelings I had previously. So it might be that reducing any anxiety you have would help? Maybe deep breathing/meditation when you feed? I don't know but worth a go if you want to keep bf.
I found that midwives & health visitors didn't understand what I was describing at all. My friend had heard of it. She said it could be linked to oxytocin which is released when feeding. Perhaps your body is reacting to that hormone? Good luck flowers

TheLongRains Wed 31-May-17 07:42:40

Hi opalescent just wondering how you're getting on with feeding now? I had D-MER badly with my daughter, and it lasted for probably 7-8 months before really having completely gone. Though I think that's on the longer end of the spectrum, from what I understand. There's so little info out there on it though! My GP had never heard of any such response, and was very dismissive, so in the end I just had to grit my teeth and ride it out, but a bit more support in any form would have been nice!

I hope you've found yours is easing up a bit now smile

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