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5 week old refusing breast and hungry :(

(39 Posts)
Kione Mon 06-Feb-17 19:00:56

So that's it, suddenly DS has started to refuse my boob and he is hungry/due a feed. He screams as soon as I put him in nursing position. I am so distressed.
We've been using the dummy as he has colucs and it relaxes him and now am thinking he might have nipple confusion?? For the past hour I tried not giving him the dummy and he is just screaming. What do I do??

BendingSpoons Mon 06-Feb-17 19:04:35

That sounds so stressful for you. I know some people have had success with feeding standing up, gently moving the baby. Obviously tiring for you but might get him going? I wonder if there is something wrong e.g. wind or if it's the time of day. DD would have screamy evening feeds.

Watto1 Mon 06-Feb-17 19:07:13

When DS refused feeds, it turned out I had mastitis. He knew before I did! Have you tried both boobs? DS fed from my 'good' boob but wouldn't touch my infected boob.

Kione Mon 06-Feb-17 19:07:14

Thanks for your reply.
I can't feed him moving, he is a big baby and I have a bad back. He has been like this all day today but in the morning I managed 2 decent feeds after much trying. Now nothing. I gave up and gave him the dummy to stop the crying sad

goodbyeyellowbrickroad Mon 06-Feb-17 19:07:16

How frustrating for you. Deep breaths. Does he like a bath? You could try going in the bath with him and see if he'll feed there. Alternatively you could try some skin to skin in bed or on the sofa. Strip him down to his vest or even his nappy and you take your top and bra off and see if that helps to calm him down enough for him to latch on.

Sleepysally Mon 06-Feb-17 19:09:23

Sounds awful.

I would try a different feeding position. Can sometimes be something like earache that can be painful for them when lay on their side that can cause these sort of problems.

Hope it gets better for you soon

Kione Mon 06-Feb-17 19:09:35

He prefers one boob but he has been fussy on both today.
I alternate boobs to feed and I must say its always more difficult with one, he dribbles a lot of the milk too.
He is falling sleep now with the dummy sad

EchoesOfLeon Mon 06-Feb-17 19:09:52

Try not to panic. Is someone else there who can calm him down? My DD is better when someone else takes her for 5mins so we can both 'reset' before trying again. Try a different feeding position? Rugby hold maybe? Or lie back and have him latch lying on your tummy. Lastly you could try hand expressing a bit of milk onto your nipple so he gets the taste straight away when he tries to latch.

Don't fret, there will be a solution flowers

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 06-Feb-17 19:11:44

Have you got someone home with you? Could they have him for 10 mins while you relax and run a bath? Perhaps having a bath with baby might relax him.

Perhaps give one of the Bfing Support Lines a call too.

Have a read of this on fussiness and this on colic.

doggle Mon 06-Feb-17 19:12:43


JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 06-Feb-17 19:13:59

Glad the dummy is relaxing him thanks

savagehk Mon 06-Feb-17 19:22:46

Would also suggest trying other side or a completely different hold, sometimes could be related to pain in the position he's been held.

Kione Mon 06-Feb-17 20:09:25

Yes I think we have thrush and being treated for it but we are on the 6th day now.
I tried different positions but he cries and going in the bath would be last resort but if I have to I will.
I think the dummy is counterproductive tho maybe that's why he doesn't want nipple.
My DP is with him now.

Bex134 Tue 07-Feb-17 01:42:10

Hi kione, I was just wondering if you'd tried expressing then bottle feeding your little one in the past? If your thinking he has nipple confusion, does he take better from bottle?

The bath idea sounds nice and relaxing plus you have skin to skin at the same time- it may be good for both of you to relax together??

Wingingit88 Tue 07-Feb-17 02:22:03

Have you tried getting him to latch when he's asleep? So gentle rouse him then stroke his mouth with your nipple to try get him to open his mouth and latch on?

doggle Tue 07-Feb-17 06:23:55

Have you tried bait and switch with the dummy? Keep it in until the last second, get him in the right position, then whip the dummy out and nipple in. Have you tried using a breast shield? You could try expressing and bottle for a feed or two and see if it helps?
I had one that didn't care how the milk was delivered (she happily switched from boob to bottle to boob to bottle several times a day - as long as she got milk she didn't care), one that was ebf and refused to have plastic anywhere near his face (he refused bottles completely) and one that was tube fed, then bottle fed (I expressed from birth as she was in scbu and was born with no suck or gag reflex).
I'm going to guess that it is still thrush if you are undergoing treatment. Pop back to gp and see if there is a next level treatment for both of you as you could well just be swapping it back and forth. I wouldn't worry too much about nipple confusion. In about fifteen years of hanging round mums with babies, I've never actually seen it be much of a problem at all and I've known literally hundreds of ebf babies who used dummies.
and yes, dream feeding is always a good idea. We had to do that with the tube/ bottle kid as during the waking hours her muscle tone was too high to coordinate breathing and sucking. Her muscle tone relaxed when she was asleep, so had to Fred her pretty much solely during the silent hours. It was a nocturnal year lol.

Kione Tue 07-Feb-17 07:55:45

I have tried all you said above except expressing as I did that a few weeks ago and engorged my boob and it was horrible. I am very squeamish.
He had fed much better during the night tho! Only 5 min from the bad boob and woke up all lumpy sad but the he had a decent feed and its softened up.
Thanks for all your input! Fingers crossed for today...

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens Tue 07-Feb-17 08:59:34

This happened with my letdown seemed to go a bit crazy. Finding positions to let baby cope more with the flow helped, leaning back a bit or hand expressing a little on to a muslin first seemed to help. It's was a stage for us and it passes! Good luck.

Kione Tue 07-Feb-17 10:02:51

But he doesn't even start, as soon as I put him on feeding position he starts screaming sad and I can't manage other positions as I have a bad back and he is so big, already 12lb!

littledinaco Tue 07-Feb-17 10:10:38

That sounds hard op. I think it is common for them to go through a fussy phase around this age.

Have you tried lots of skin to skin. Maybe get yourself set up in bed for the morning with lots of drinks and snacks and get him stripped off to his nappy. It can help settle and regulate him which may make him feed better.

Biological nursing position can be good if they are fussy and you have a bad back. Get yourself comfortable with lots of pillows.

Also, definitely call one of the helplines as suggested by pp.

savagehk Tue 07-Feb-17 10:23:30

Agree with pp - lots of skin to skin, perhaps try feeding lying down (baby lies across your chest), or another hold making sure you're well propped up with pillows / on a chair so you don't hurt your back.

Kione Tue 07-Feb-17 13:58:06

I'll try skin to skin, but I don't like taking my bra off, my boobs are massive and they hurt but I'll have to try.
Been to HV at the breastfeeding group today, she saw him fussing and told me to go home express and feed him. I had to do some shopping but didn't, went straight home. I did that it took 40min for him to take 20ml and he screams and screams. Can't do much else now as I have to pick up DD in an hour.
I will have to cancel plans for tomorrow, I can't go anywhere with him like this.

redcaryellowcar Tue 07-Feb-17 14:05:01

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, so this might have already been suggested, but have you tried feeding him with same ear facing up as the side he's happy on by tucking his body under your arm. My ds sometimes did this, I assumed a sore ear? Also worth trying feeding standing up and sort of gently swinging side to side, I could persuade my very refluxy baby to feed just a bit that way? Also maybe worth trying to feed with him either laying on your tummy, with you in a relaxed sitting position? There are really helpful helplines including la leche league, NCT etc.

littledinaco Tue 07-Feb-17 14:10:03

You don't have to take your bra off for skin to skin. You can keep bra on and a little camisole top too maybe, will still be beneficial. I didn't ever take my bra off for skin to skin! Baby can wear a vest too, it's baby's arms and legs that need contact.

I honestly wouldn't bother expressing to feed him, unless you want to. It's really hard work and will just stress you out.
Lots of babies do go through this fussy phase and it's horrible when you can't get them to feed. Skin to skin does usually help and it shouldn't last too long before his feeding is back to normal (if no other issues like tounge tie).

It's really hard when they cry and cry, especially if you have an older one too.

Heirhelp Tue 07-Feb-17 14:12:20

When my little one did this about the same time it was due to reflux.

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