Mums who stopped BFing their babies at around 18 months-2 years...advice please(14 Posts)
My Ds is almost 1 and I'm trying to decide what to do re. breastfeeding him. I'd be happy to continue until 18 months, maybe a bit longer (will see how I feel...fed DD to 14 months and was happy with that at the time).
There are a few issues though...
1. He asks to be fed a lot during the day, such that I sometimes end up feeding 5 times a day, which I'm not happy with. I'd happily feed 3 times in 24 hours.
2. He sometimes feeds at night still, and is a hopeless sleeper.
3. He almost always falls asleep on th breast, or soon after his night feed, so obviously feeding is a real sleep cue for him.
4. He has just got some teeth, and is not biting, but his teeth seem to rub very painfully.
Writing it down it seems obvious to me that I should keep feeding for an easy life, and for his benefit as he obviously is not ready to stop yet...
But, I'm worried that it will become even harder to stop later.
In your experience ladies, did your 'demanding' one year old BFeeder become less or more demanding?
Sorry, its a weird question I know, I just need some help to think this through and discuss pors and cons.
my ds was feeding 5 x a day till about 10/11 months. he is now 14 months and i have structured it into 3 x day. he does ask other times, eg in the middle of fitting shoes in J.Lewis!
This does bother me, as i think its ok to feed little kids in public, but feel self concious aout a strapping(sp?) little lad.
I only had a plan to do it till 12 months. After that it is kind of waiting to see what he wants. I am also anxious he will be two or older and stil want it.
Yes, I think I will start to feel uncomfortable in a while about feeding him in public and about him asking all the time. He is fairly big, and is walking now.
I'm sure we could stop if need be, I just wonder whether it will be easier now or later.
i stopped feeding my son @ 2 years old he would've happily carried on, nearly 3 months down the line & he'd still have a go if i'd let him! as for night time feeds he'd only go 2 sleep on the boob so i gave bedtime feed up gradually & cuddled him 2 sleep instead
In a hurry, but -
My dd1 self-weaned at 19 months. (I think because I was pregnant).
There was a huge shift between about 12 months, when she was feeding several times a day and in the night too, and about 15 months. By then, she was only feeding twice a day (early morning and last thing before bed).
The weaning process was absolutely stress-free and was dictated by her - I'd have been happy to carry on with 2 feeds a day for ever really as it was no hassle to me.
I was really pleased with how it worked out and will do the same with dd2, ie letting her decide when to wean.
Just thought you might like to hear of a positive experience!
Thanks Welliemum, that is encouraging - just what I want to hear! My DD did a similar thing at 14 months, possibly also due to pregnancy. Hmmmm, does that mean I need to fall pragnant again when I want to stop BFing DS? Wonder what DH will say to that!
my dd is a milk monster. at a year old i was having the same experiences as you outlined in the op. then one day the teeth got better.
she is 22 months now, still feeds a lot but now she is feeding less if kept busy and i can distract her with books or going outside, or a healthy snack. she feeds out of boredom i can see.
i have let her feed on demand because i work f/t and as she is in nursery full time, i truly believe it has done her immune system a whack of good in that cesspool of virus and bacteria - even though it is a v nice nursery!
also, when she is ill and it is the only food she wants i know that it is feeding, healing and comforting her (and me) at the same time.
if you google: dr jack newman, breastfeeding, toddler, you will find an excellent handout on why to bf a toddler.
Fed both my DC until about 16ish months -- so not quite the 18mths but close enough . DD was absolutely addicted to BF, she was on 6 feeds a day at 11mts. Including one nighttime one. I went back to work 3 days a week when she was 1, so we cut down to 3 feeds a day. She wasn't too pleased with the idea, but didn't complain for more than a day or so when I dropped each feed. She also went to sleep on the breast, but we broke the association by inserting a book after feed and then doing a gradual withdraw method (patting, pickup put down) for sleep. This took a couple days -- she was v. flexible baby.
DS selfweaned himself at about 17mths. He was a big feeder as well at 1, but dropped quite dramatically between 1 & 17mths. going from 6 feeds to none! He also had the same sleep association and did as with DD.
I found DD's teeth much more troublesome than DS. DD used to leave indentations and DS nothing. So must have been differences in their latches.
DD selfweaned at just over 2 ( I think her last ever one was 2.2, but there had been a week or so since the one before) She did cut down after a year, but I did help a bit. From about 18mths (maybe earlier) I gave her a choice of a drink or bf if she asked to bf and sometimes she'd want one, sometimes the other. It eventually dropped down to bfing just in the morning (before we got up) and if she came into our bed at night (about 90% of the time )
We didn't bf in public after about 14/15 mths because she wasn't a very discreet feeder by then - she liked to sit upright on my leg and watch TV or look at books, and chat (so really faffing about with my boob) not something I'd want to do anywhere but home!
my dd had her last bf at the end of jan when she was 15 months.
she had been down to 2 feeds a day up till mid-dec and over Xmas I introduced a milk drink morning and afternoon.
i did this in order to encourage her to self wean.
she dropped the early morning feed during january and then the bedtime feed started becoming quite a trial for us both.
i always fed her to sleep and was very worried that i'd struggle to get her into bed.
she would have a feed but wasn't dropping off anymore. she'd end up thrashing around and was really unsettled. i'd have to lie down with her after the feed and wait for her to wind down.
eventually one night i gave her warm milk instead. turned lights out and lay down with her.
this has worked really well and has been stress free and she drops off so much more easily and quickly than she ever did. once she's off i transfer her to the cot and she stays there till 6 or 7am.
tbh, i think she was ready to drop that feed before i was but she didn't know any other way of going to sleep.
it took me about 3 weeks to get her to drink milk during the day but i think this really helped transition her to a milk drink at bedtime.
i'd hesitate to say she truly self weaned because i think i set up conditions to move her in that direction.
anyways, good luck with what you decide. the best advice i had at the time was to try it and see what happens. your supply won't dry up overnight.
I think how many times you feed is up to you at this point. I fed DD more or less on demand til she was about 1, and then gradually made it 3 times a day - first thing in the morning, afternoon nap and bedtime.
It wasn't really hard, using distraction, going out etc. She gradually got used to the idea that bf took place in bed and at certain times and it worked well for us. Around 18 months we stopped the morning feed, as I thought it was making her wake up earlier, and she did sleep better after that.
We continued like that until she was about 2 1/2, and like Kiskidee I'm glad I did as I think it helped her through her first winter at nursery and all the viruses going round etc, and there were many times when she was ill and wouldn't eat I was glad of bf.
I think dd has just stopped having her b/f at 21 months but it's only been 2 nights so we'll see!
Anyway - WE were down to 3 feeds at 1 year and I gradually stopped her afternoon feed at around 14/15 months by swapping it with a drink and some fruit - she seemed quite happy with the trade! THen the morning feed was ony able to be dropped if I took her straight to breakfast from when she woke. If I hung around her room or my room fro too long she expected me to sit down and feed her.
And now at 21 months I"ve spent the last week or so showing her milk in a milk bottle or making a big thing about milk on her cereal. I've also started calling my milk "mummy milk" rather than just milk. so the night before last dh offered her "MiLk in a cup with daddy" which she was very intrigued by.
Dh put her to bed after I said goodnight to her downstairs and much to my huge disappointment she went down without a peep or so much as a moan for me!!!!??? That's gratitude for you
Anyway just to say - I didn't want to hurry her and if she'd really insisted on keeping the feed then I would carry on doing so until say 2 ish, but if she was easily persuaded to swictch without heartache then I feel now is as good a time as any.
But if she changes her mind tonight, then we'll wait another little while.
I want to start Weightwatchers and they wouldn't accept me online while b/f, so fingers crossed that I've lost the last and final excuse to be a lard arse
I had the pain thing as dd got more teeth, btw, and I thought "oh well better give up now" but it did pass after 2/3 weeks of slight discomfort.
good to hear that the teeth discomfort passed quickly - there is hope!
I guess I will try pushing the cup more after he is one (only next week!), and then see where that leads. I'd be sad if it led to full weaning, but not devestated, as I feel 1 year is a good long time to BF. Hopefully he will adjust to 3 feeds a day though, then perhaps to 2 a day when hes 18months or so. I can't imagine him being content with a cup and snack as he practically rips my clothes off trying to get at my boobs atm! But we shall see...watch this space!
Thanks all for answering
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