Baby refusing to feed during day please help!(9 Posts)
I have a 4 month old who has been refusing to feed during the day for the past 2 weeks (we're in the third week now). At night time she has 3-4 feeds (11, 2, 4 and 5.30 generally), so this is when she's getting her food. I can usually get her to feed at 7am but it then just gets worse and worse throughout the day, to the point where if I put her anywhere near the breast she becomes hysterical.
I have seen a lactation consultant who said she has a posterior tongue tie. Went to another LC for a second opinion and potentially get it snipped but she thought snipping it would make it worse, so suggested we go to an osteopath. 2 osteopathy sessions later and there is no change, in fact she seems worse. Her latch is very shallow, I have tried the 'flipple' technique and she does latch on better but will still pull off after 30 seconds as if she's in pain. I have tried laid back bfeeding but she just gets frantic and can't latch on properly that way. I have also cut out dairy since last week to see if that helps (but wouldn't see a change from that yet).
I just don't know what to do now. She won't take a bottle so can't 'top her up' that way, and it is making our bfeeding relationship really stressful. When she feeds during the day she has 30secs-1 minute then pulls off screaming. I then can't get her back on to the breast. I don't understand why she is fine feeding at night but seems to find it distressing during the day. I've tried feeding her more often, less often, very short frequent feeds, but nothing has made any difference.
It's getting to the point where I am dreading feeding her and it's making me (and her!) really miserable. I feel like I'm failing to feed her properly and am so tired from waking up all night. If she would take a bottle I would've stopped bfeeding her by now. I also have an older DD so just hunkering down and getting on with isn't an option.
I'd be really grateful if anyone has any advice or has experienced this? I can't see an end in sight at the moment and it's having a huge negative effect. Thanks in advance x
Sorry things sound tough at the moment. Presumably your LO has been feeding well and gaining weight fine up til recently? If so it's possibly just a fussy stage. I have a 4 month old too and she was like this for a few weeks (still is a fair bit) but it is calming slightly. I could tell she was hungry but she just kept rooting right past my nipple despite my best 'hamburger' attempts, and when she did feed she pulled off screaming after about 30 seconds as if my milk were burning her (only way I can describe it!!) She sometimes started screaming at the mere sight of my boobs - not great for the self esteem. But, like yours, she was feeding frequently and very efficiently through the night. I was worried I would have a full on nursing strike on my hands but thankfully she is becoming happier to feed through the day again, pity the night feeds aren't reducing much... It is quite soul destroying. I'm sorry I don't have any advice as such but I know exactly how it feels, hopefully it will improve a bit like it is for me, and hopefully someone will come along with a few suggestons!
That does sound very stressful. I'm sure yiu will have read up on tt, but here is some information from Milk Matters which yiu may find helpful.
Are you in the U.K. River? If so, it might be worth ringing one of the Breastfeeding Helplines this evening. A BFC may be able to give you some support
As she is crying after a minute, has anyone suggested trying Breast Compressions to you? There is some information on how they work here. .
As for the bottle refusing, if yiu search the MN site, there will be literally hundreds of threads on bottle refusing. There is some info here on alternative feeding methods. The tips for 4 months plus is towards the end of the page and there are some tips here on bottlefeeding a bf baby.
Thank you so much for your replies, it's good to know I'm not alone!
I haven't tried breast compressions, will definitely give that a go. I have tried the bf helplines but I can never get through. I'm thinking of possibly getting a third opinion re the tongue tie but at £75 a go it's not cheap!
If you can't get through on the Bfing Lines, could you leave a message? Some also offer email help. Alternatively, could you call your local Leche League Leader. Milk Matters do virtual diagnosis of tongue tie too but I'm not sure how much it is.
Given everything you describe, I'd be tempted to go with the recommendations of the first Lactation Consultant though and see about getting it snipped, but that's just my, untrained, opinion .
This happened to me around DS being the 4-5 months. Does your baby nap during the day? If so, just when they're about to nod off before each nap, dreamfeed them. This helped sort it for me at least until he was weaned onto solids, which is when all the night feeds started dropping.
He is 8 months now, I still have to dreamfeed during the day for him to take milk but I also mix milk into his 3 meals so it's not as stressful now
River I feel your pain, my dd has been just like this, started at about 6 weeks. We got her tongue tie snipped but to be honest it didn't make any real difference. I also took fenugreek domperidone to boost supply, saw a lactation consultant and tried dairy free. It is utterly soul destroying, what you said about the stress and stopping if you could is just how I have felt.
I did find feeding while sleepy helped, just before nap or just as waking up, also using white noise and feeding lying down if at home was helpful.
She seems to be slowly growing out of it, although we now have the distract ability to deal with too! If out I try to feed her under a muzzi or scarf otherwise she's just too nosey. Her weight gain faltered a bit so we started solids early and I put formula in her food to boost her calories. she ( touch wood) does seem to be reducing her night feeding a bit, waking 2-3times instead of at least 4.
I've tried offering the bottle at times when she is fussing on the breast and she won't take it. She does suck on a mam teat and will take 1-2 oz so I am starting to think she can do it if she really wanted / needed tombut that maybe she just doesn't like drinking milk of any sort???
It's interesting what you said about osteopath as that was the one thing I was thinking of trying as a last resort. My last dd was like this too only not as bad and I had taken her to one, at the time I thought it made no difference but because now lo is worse I am wondering if actually it did iyswim??? How do you think it made it worse???
It will get better, I am holding out for starting meat and dairy in her solids so her not taking much milk will matter less. Have you tried white noise?? It was probably the most helpful for me, had to have it quite loud
Hi, haven't read all replies so sorry for any repetition
Could it be silent reflux? Our son would scream during day feeds but be ok when very tired / at night and this turned out to be the problem. It's because they develop a feeding aversion from the pain, but when tired they forget about it a bit.
Could be worth asking your doc to try some ranitidine (Zantac)
I should add, other symptoms to watch for include:
- acidic smelling breath
- gurgling tummy / sound of milk coming back up
- frequent hiccups
There are more but this is what our son exhibited
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