Feeling v. guilty for giving up and putting 4wk old DS onto FF. Help...(32 Posts)
After a struggle with v. bad cracked nipple making me miserable have decided to put DS onto FF after being a very proud BFer for 4 weeks.
Not only do I feel like i am letting him down I now feel like I have to get to grips with a whole new world of sterilisers and formulas etc.
Can anyone give me tips for making up bottles easily throughout the night without having to make the poor wee thing wait until the steriliser finished, boiled water cooled etc?
Don't feel bad, you gave him a very good start and formula milk is fine, really. IIRC you can make up the bottles with boiled water alone, keep in the fridge, and add milk powder when you need to make them up (it's what I did when I was out and about with ds although he was older then). You can get tubs at Boots/Mothercare that you can put however many scoops you need for a bottle in. So just empty the tub into the bottle of water, shake, warm if necessary (microwave is quick although you need to stir or shake to ensure it hasn't heated unevenly). BUT it's been three years since I had to do this so advice may have changed.
I used cartons at night and dd was happy to take them at room temperature so could keep them & sterile bottle in our room & no need to go off and make up feeds.
Well done for making it to 4 weeks, I gave up under similar circumstaces - the guilt does fade & dd is as healthy as they come.
Make up bottle/s in advance, keep them in the fridge and then warm up in a jug of hot water. Takes 5 mins max, and is fine for overnight.
My sympathies..I had the 4 week problem too, still feel bad. But bottles are fine once you get a routine.
oh please try not to feel too guilty it will stop you enjoying your baby. FF is not the worst thing, most babies thrive on it.
In terms of making up the feeds, what I did was to sterilise the six (Avent) bottles at the same time, boil up water, let it cool, put in bottles and put the bottles in the fridge. Then when it was time for a feed I would boil fresh water and add it too the cooled water so that it was the right temperature and then would add formula.
Thanks, also.. health visitor gave 2 options:
1/ Stop BF dead and put up with engorged breasts for a while until milk goes. Taking paracetamol to help or....
2/ Replacing BF with FF a feed at a time and gradually weaning him off it.
I have only given him one bottle (tommie tippie closer to nature) so far and he took it brilliantly so I feel inclined not to mess him about (and make me sore again).
What do you think?
i have not BF myself, so cannot be much help..if you want to continue feeding..there is support through breastfeeding clinics , NCT, La Leche League, Association of Breastfeeeding mothers..who can help gte you through this if you want to carry on
if you don;t wish to carry on, then you can sterilise the bottles, fill with freshly boiled water, no need to refrigerate, get a poweder dispener from Tesco or Mothercare ( avent and tommee tippee do them.... ) you measure the formula into the dispenser and then shake into the bottle of water as required.
or give baby a carton of ready made milk! or you can buy pre measured sachets of SMA IIRC.
new guidelines do say to make each feed with freshly boiled water,cooled for 40 minutes, but that seems unworkable in the middle of the night!
I stopped full stop; expressed a bit to relieve the discomfort and gave bottles of BM and formula alternatively for a few days. Pain wasn't so bad and I think totally over in a fortnight.
My lo has thrived since...little horror!
Definitely get the LO used to room-temperature bottles. Makes life much easier all round.
We used to make up a day's-worth of bottles (sterilised, filled with freshly boiled water) the night before, and leave them in a row on the kitchen counter with a small, lidded tub in front of each bottle with the correct amount of powder already measured into the tub. That way all you had to do was grab a bottle and a tub, and you were feeding within minutes - no need to think, no need for LO to howl with hunger while waiting.
Definitely drop one or two feeds at a time. It will be so much easier on your boobs, and on you emotionally (remember, yuo are still very vulnerable to your hormones). Also, if you miss feeding you will not have 'burnt your boats' but will be able to try re-lactating, should you wish, or even just keeping one or two feeds going, if that works for you. Feeding doesn't need to be an all or nothing business. By making the changeover gradual you make it easier for yourself to be happy and confident in your final decision.
Sterilise bottles in advance and keep in sealed tupperware type box until needed.
At night, pop a bottle ( or three) of water in fridge before you go to bed and add the scoops when needed.
In terms of heating up...jug of just boiled water probably the best, although, I will admit <<puts arms over head awaiting crash of MN judgement>> I resorted to microwave (and a good shake afterwards).
don't worry - having a healthy, sane rested mother is much more important than which type of milk you provide. We make up bottles 12 hours in advance, let the water cool to room temp and add powder when needed. DS takes the bottles room temp so can feed instantly in the night. Good luck.
Thanks for advice iro the bottles.
Think i will try and wean him off BF, (depending how much pain i can bear) onto one FF a day then build it up over a couple of weeks. By then of course my nipple will have healed and i will wonder why i gave up BF in the first place (something else to beat myself up about!)
I figure weaning him off will be good for me too, will feel less like i am abandoning him after 4 weeks of being so close.
My 2 DS's were FF and are gorgeous and healthy. Don't feel bad.
As for the night feeds used to have the cooled boiled water in the sterile bottle and the powder in the Avent dispenser, shake and go,like the oter posters have ssaid. Good luck.
Sterilise before bed and fill the bottles with the boiled water. you can then take the bottle to bed with you and add the powder when needed. The Avent powder dispenser is great for taking to bed. We waited for ages to give ds room temp milk, do it straight away and then your ds won't make fuss when you go out and can't warm it etc
I bf my first dd for 4 months and weaned of gradually a feed at a time and at times it hurt like hell, with my 2nd dds i managed a whoping 2 dys then had scabby nips and bags under my eyes you wouldnt beleive! I stopped there and then but obv my proper milk hadnt come in - when it did i got a mild milk fever (temp) controlled with paracetomol but that was it - told to stuff cabbage leaves in bra which i didnt and pull my bra on so tight and high which really helped. He slept like a dream following this change over and became so chilled and calm and content so despite being riddled with guilt and tearful i had no doubt it was the best thing for all and althoug i was told to try again in a few days when milk was in proper i never did as i didnt want to faff him about. Take a chill pill and really enjoy your baby without the pressure - it works for some and that is great but its not for everyone - my midwife said to me she would rather a formula fed baby than a breast fed baby getting a toot of prozac as well!! Good luck x
Feel for you massively. V hard not to feel guilty. I struggled to BF my 3 and had a nightmare each time. No one can understand if they haven't struggle!! I have done both ways. First time stopped after 8 weeks and went "cold turkey". My mum had had a baby in the middle east and there if you don't BF they bind you tightly with a sheet or something so we did that with pain relief and it helped. With dd I did it gradually cos I was desperately trying to express ( and failing) so it gradually tailed off - less physical pain but more heartache!! The Avent bottle cooler keeps a bottle cool for 8 hours so if you can#'t bear to get out of bed, take a flast , jug and made up feed inbottle upstairs for overnight. Heats up really quickly in jug.
BadMutherFlumper, If you are really reluctant to give up b/feeding, you could express the milk that you are replacing with the formula (and either freeze/keep in the fridge, or throw away). If you express for a couple of weeks, your supply with be maintained, and when your nipple has healed you could continue with b/feeding. DS might have a better latch then (if he's anything like my two who had a tiny mouth - i couldnt really get around the poor latch/cracked nipples).
But, one feed at a time is the best way to go if you feel you have had enough.
Oh, its worth mentioning that research has shown that you dont have to sterilise bottles etc. Just wash with hot soapy water and rinse, then leave to air dry. (Microbiologists working with neonatal depts have been recommending this for some time).
Or, you can wash them in a dishwasher. This should cut alot of the hassle out of bottlefeeding.
I BF for four weeks and then had to give up as my nipples were cracked, bleeding and actually scabbing....the HV was still pushing the BF despite all that (why do they do this??!). I also had an emergency C section and DS was very impatient for the milk and when it didn't come out fast enough for his lordship's liking, he used to kick in temper and it hurt so much!!!
I felt soooooo guilty giving up, my breasts were so full and I felt it was a waste (by the way, having a nice warm shower and letting the spray go on boobs relieves the pain somewhat) but DS was much happier on formula as was faster for him (he loves his grub!!) and I was happier, which I think is the most important thing at the end of the day - a happy baby AND mummy - whether BF or FF.
It is a faff with the sterlizing etc, but you soon get into swing of it and making up bottles of boiled water in advance does wonders and I even moved on to heating water up in microwave when got confident enough in mummyhood!!
Don't beat yourself up about it. As another poster has said, unless someone has struggled with bfing they are in no position to comment or judge your decision. In any case, you've given him the most important part of breastfeeding: the colostrum and the earliest milk, and you have set him up well. Ff is not a disaster for the baby, it's a perfectly adequate substitute. Trust yourself and follow your instincts.
Actually, nobody is in a position to judge your decision. Why on earth did I say that? God knows. Probably because people do worry that they will be judged.
i feel for you, really i do. it's weird how things work out, isn't it? but in the end being a mum is about a lot more than milk, you know.
apparently there are new guidelines that from memory say that you should make up feeds with water that is at least 70 degrees. i'm sure someone will confirm or deny that.
i used to boil my water and fill up the bottles then leave them to cool. when i needed them i'd heat up the bottle part in the microwave, then add the powder, put the lid on and shake shake shake.
i'd recommend the individual tommee tippee powder dispensers btw, they fit in the neck of the bottle so are difficult to leave in the house by mistake.
I can totally empathise with the cracked nipple getting you really down.
i had a huge gash on my LH nipple and spent the whole time in tears and wanting to give up breastfeeding.
Despite what the MW and HV said in the end I used a nipple shield on the cracked side and the difference it made to my mood was unbelievable. It wasn't nearly as painful to feed and gave my nipple a chance to heal and now we're back to unprotected bfing!
I also used breast shells to protect my nipple in between feeds.
If you want to continue bfing it might be worth a try, but please don't beat yourself up over formula feeding, you are not letting him down!!!
Have you tried a nipple shield badmuthaflumper ?
I had to give up after 5 days (was still in hosp after c section) I cracked at five in the morning with a sarking night shift midwife, I felt relieved at first cos it just wasn't happening ds wasn't getting the hang of it and neither were my boobs. I felt guilty later cos of all the mentions of bf in magazines etc.
Was thrown into world of ff without anything in place and stupidly went along making up feeds as i needed... if i'd been awake enough at any stage during the six weeks of night feeds I'd have done what everyone else is advising you!!!
Good luck, I'm sure lo will be fine!
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