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How do I explain why I want to continue BF past 6 months?

(23 Posts)
ruth2007 Tue 20-Feb-07 19:12:27

Hi
I want to continue BF until my DD is ready to stop (thinking about 2yrs).
My dd is nearly 6 months and my family seem to think I will stop feeding her myself once she starts solids.
She cut her first tooth last night and the comment from my Mum was - in brief - I told you she was ready for solids and now you will be giving her formula!!!!???
My Mum is great usually but I have had enough of her and my Sister giving me well meaning advice. I know that when they realise I am still BF they will comment, so what do I say (without offending my Sister who FF her DC as I believe in the right to choose).
DP is being supportive (I think! maybe he just wants a quiet life!)

Also any tips on BF in public as she gets older?
Sorry it's a bit long....

NotQuiteCockney Tue 20-Feb-07 19:14:11

BF in public is fine as they get older, they feed for less time.

I'd tend to nod, say 'that's interesting, but I'm not going to bother with all that faff', or words to that effect.

Fact is, it's not really your mum's or sister's decision, is it?

Aloha Tue 20-Feb-07 19:15:29

Nothing to do with your mum or your sister. Not their business. you can smile at them and ignore them.

Aloha Tue 20-Feb-07 19:15:49

Don't explain at all. Pointless activity.

Jessajam Tue 20-Feb-07 19:17:05

Leaving out any of the health benefits of BF ( if you are worried about upsetting your SIL...)
Breast milk is cheaper than formula.
You can wean and BF as well, just like you can wean and FF.
They are your norks and it is your baby...

determination Tue 20-Feb-07 19:19:26

Be very Proud - your doing the very best for dd. Just state that the WHO recommend BFing until at least 2years and beyond..

here is the link

My family used to say that my dd would be bringing her BF home for some mummies milk!! she would be getting it that long! I just kept mentioning that it was up to her to decide and she did when she was ready!

hermykne Tue 20-Feb-07 19:20:17

wouldnt bother going over it with them if they re not approving then dont put them under pressure to be in your presence if your feeding,

Walnutshell Tue 20-Feb-07 19:21:40

Loads of stuff on the internet (mumsnet too) explaining the health benefits of b'feeding. From reading previous similar posts, I would say try not to get bogged down in argument about it, might make you feel worse. DO NOT be swayed if you want to continue, you may regret it later. Feeding gets less frequent as they get older so you probably won't be as preoccupied with b'feeding in public as you might be now. I'm still feeding nearly 16mo old and never have to do so in public but can do at home, parents, in-laws quite comfortably (and woe-betide any of them if they try to deter me!)... Not that you shouldn't b'f in public of course - more of it I say.

Loads of postings on MN that will support you xx

tassis Tue 20-Feb-07 19:23:23

I don't think i'd explain. Just do what you're doing.

You're doing great by the way.

I continued to BF in public until ds was about 10 months and it was no problem. By then he tended only to feed after his afternoon nap (so we were usually home) and first and last thing at night (usually either in my bed or in his darkened bedroom). Therefore he was rarely seen feeding after about 10 months (not that I'd have cared if he was, and not that I was consciously hiding away it's just how it worked for us).

You're doing great...please don't feel any pressure to do things differently.

maewest Tue 20-Feb-07 19:39:54

My mum, who bf all 3 of her children, is also starting to make the odd comment about my feeding DS who is nearly 7 months. She fed each of us to about 6-9 months, we then went onto cows milk, because that's what you did then. We were all weaned onto solids by 3-4 months as well.

However, I feel confident in what I'm doing, so I'm going to keep on doing it. Incidentally, my mum was here at the weekend and witnessed my DS really not being bothered about solid food, so think she understood a little more about why I'm continuing to bf. She can also see that he's happy and thriving. And most importantly, she's my mum, not DS's.

It's great that you're continuing with bf, would agree with others - just do it, there's no need to 'explain'. With the feeding in public thing, I find that DS doesn't ask for feeding quite so much when we're out as there is too much else going on, he makes up for it when we get home.

Waswondering Tue 20-Feb-07 19:43:52

Dd is almost 9m and I fed her in public today!

TBH, if you're established in bf it's a lot easier to continue with it and then switch to cows milk, rather than doing any formula, when baby reaches around 1.

Good luck and I hope you continue to enjoy the bf experience!

Walnutshell Tue 20-Feb-07 19:48:20

Agree, WasW. Faffed about in the earlyish days with expressor, bottles and steriliser and thought stuff this, too much like hard work. Much easier to bf. Think sometimes that side isn't emphasised enough when people debating one or the other.

FrannyandZooey Tue 20-Feb-07 19:54:00

Being very vocally positive about breastfeeding helps, I think. You can even practise at home if you really feel you are going to get upset by critical comments / well meaning "suggestions".

So if they say: "Oh, you'll be giving her formula now."

some responses you could try:

"I'm going to carry on breastfeeding, we're both very happy with it and I know she is still getting a lot of benefits from it."

"I think I'm too lazy to start all that now! Breastfeeding is so easy and of course it's free."

"This is working well for us, thanks."

Or just the good old non-committal "Hmmmm...." and change the subject

ruth2007 Tue 20-Feb-07 19:56:25

WOW v quick responses - thanks!

I suppose it is just one of those things no one talks to you about at postnatal etc. I have only just realised that people were expecting me to stop when it had never crossed my mind to!

Will go and read the link, hoping it tells me that she will never get hayfever if I carry on!!!

TooTicky Tue 20-Feb-07 19:57:15

Good for you

popsycal Tue 20-Feb-07 19:57:29

Even my mum, who has been very supportive/tolerant has started asking as ds2 is approaching his 2nd birthday.
I have given up trying to explaina dn now simply say 'sometime between now and puberty'

Coolmama Tue 20-Feb-07 19:57:34

Just say that you are really enjoying the whole BF thing and have decided to keep going a bit longer - no need to mention how long you would like to -

ruth2007 Tue 20-Feb-07 19:59:12

Should say that I don't worry now about BF in public, just pop them out anywhere and everywhere! But then she is very young still...

But I am a bit worried about a 2 year old shouting BOOBIE and pulling my top up in Tesco (or other well known Supermarkets of course!)

gothicmama Tue 20-Feb-07 19:59:13

I did say to someone that I BF after 6 months cos babies can't have cows milk until 12 months

beansprout Tue 20-Feb-07 19:59:33

First thing - good on you, I hope it all works out

I used to read up on the benefits and was very clear about what I was doing, in my own mind. That meant that I wasn't vulnerable to anyone else banging on at me as I knew exactly what I wanted to do. So far, so good. In terms of any potential discussion, I'm with Aloha, in that it's really not up to anyone else, and isn't even their business. It takes two people to argue so I would go for the shorter, "fine thanks" type options and let them know that the lady's not for turning!!

I think the burden of proof is actually on the people who think you should stop, not the other way around! If everything is going fine, why would you switch to formula? It's illogical Captain

beansprout Tue 20-Feb-07 20:01:09

Children don't shout "boobie" unless you teach them to. Funnily enough, ds asks for "milk", for indeed, that's what it is!

As far as top pulling goes, a firm "no" will cover it. By that age they are having so many strops, that another one won't make that much difference!

FrannyandZooey Tue 20-Feb-07 20:01:19

I think if you are also feeling a bit pressured it can be helpful to be quite clear in your own mind about why you are carrying on - no need to talk about it if you feel it will upset dsis, but

this page is very useful on the benefits of extended feeding (specifically for past a year, but relevant to you as well)

and visiting a LLL meeting can give you support and community if you are feeling a bit out on a limb.

FrannyandZooey Tue 20-Feb-07 20:02:10

X posts beansprout, we think alike it seems

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