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I want to stop bfing ds2, but how?

(5 Posts)
TheKitchenWitch Tue 22-Nov-16 15:37:07

He is 19mo, eats really well, good weight etc. But he loves bfing, is a total boob monster smile
At the moment, he has it every morning when he wakes up and then it varies through the day, but usually before his nap, and any time he thinks of it (upset, whinging etc).

I feel guilty because he so enjoys it, but I really think I've had enough. He switches from one to the other constantly, so it's very hectic, and he paws at the other nipple to the one he's on which I feels really uncomfortable. Basically I think we're done with breastfeeding, but any attempt to put him off is met with tears and screaming 😟

How do I do it? Never offer, never refuse, doesn't work because I don't ever offer, it's always him demanding!
God I'm feeling guilt even typing this, but I know it's time.

Maz2444466 Wed 23-Nov-16 23:45:51

TheKitchenWitch I was in exactly the same situation as you, I managed to stop completely by 23 months. Here are some tips:

- Take it gradually, you won't feel guilty and he won't be too upset - the whole process took me about 2-3 months
- I don't know if he feeds at night but sort out the day feedings first as you can distract him.
- Replace breastmilk with formula/cow's milk in a colourful bright cup, I found straw cups worked best because it's a similar sucking action to breastfeeding. Make a big fuss about the cup, call it 'super cup' or similar and say you love drinking out of 'super cup' and pretend to drink out of it all the time, he'll soon realise it's special and want to do it to
- Cut out the feedings where he is upset/whinging first - you can distract from these with games, toys, or going for a walk - anything that works
- Limit feedings to essential ones where he is really attached to them so when he wakes up, before his nap and bedtime (if he feeds then)
- Once you've sorted out random feeds, find a different way to get DS to nap (this is temporary), maybe by pushchair, in the car or singing and lying next to him - it's important to break the feeding to sleep association
- For wake ups, I found once I cut out the feeding to sleep breastfeeds this one naturally went but it was the last to go
- Wear a high necked top - even to bed, its good that it's cold! smile
- Wear strong perfume all over your chest - it masks the smell

Also check out Doctor Jay Gordon's tips - an absolute life-saver

It wasn't anywhere near as tough as I was expecting as little one was older so understood a lot more - I tried at 6 months and it was so so sad, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. You are doing it at a good time, where DS feels more secure and will come to terms with it far easier. I got very emotional on the last ever feed which I knew was the last one as little one didn't even seem fussed about it. But I'm so glad it ended this way, with minimal tears and good memories!

Best of luck and PM me if you need anymore advise. smile

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo Wed 23-Nov-16 23:49:43

I did don't offer/don't refuse with my younger two a little after their second birthdays. We wound down gradually over a few weeks. It helped that dh fixed some exciting breakfasts a few times (exciting as in toast cut in funny shapes or some different cereal) which provided some distraction. Good luck, and 19m is such a lovely age (and such a difficult age too!)

TheKitchenWitch Sat 26-Nov-16 05:13:30

Thank you both for your replies.
He doesn't feed to sleep at night, and no night feeds either. The morning feed is his main and most important one so I'd leave that until last.
He has a variety of cups that he drinks from but doesn't seem to connect drinking milk with bfing at all, I'm sure it's mainly a comfort thing.
I did manage to distract yesterday by offering chocolate milk in a small sippy cup blush while cuddling him.
He'll fall asleep in the car at nap time with no problem but if we're at home it's boob or nothing (i.e. no nap!). Will look up those links, thank you!
It's so hard though, I feel bad for wanting to stop.

Maz2444466 Sat 26-Nov-16 08:51:01

It's great that he is drinking from a variety of cups and doesn't feed at night. Seems like you are halfway there. If you don't feel ready, you could always wait a few months? But if you do decide to stop, you've done a fantastic job breastfeeding for 19 months so you don't have anything to feel guilty about. The best of luck, whatever you decide x

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