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Feeling really sad about stopping Bf.

(11 Posts)
Nottalotta Fri 18-Nov-16 21:48:20

Is this normal? Ds is nearly 16 months old, and down to one bf a day on waking up. So it's a nice time, we're in bed and snuggled up and get half an hours snoozing in.

The reason I am stopping is that Dc2 is due in about 11 weeks, and I don't want to be feeding two I don't think (although I started out saying I definitely don't want to) Bf ds was all consuming, he was about 6 months old before he went more than 2 hrs between feeds.

I feel really sad, and guilty at the thought of stopping. Although this is not like me at all. I started out thinking 'yes I'll bf, it's free and got to be easier than bottle's then went to the bf workshops and read online and thought 'well I'll try but clearly it's not as easy as I thought'

So was pleased that for me it was easy, albeit relentless. Never thought I would ebf, or for so long, but here we are.

This last couple if weeks I have stopped night feeds after ds slept through one night without a feed, and a couple of months ago stopped the bedtime feed. It's just the morning one left and it will technically be easy to drop but I don't really want to.

Sorry, long pointless post.

Anotherdayanotherdollar Fri 18-Nov-16 21:51:13

Don't stop if you don't want to. Continue for another few weeks and see how you feel then. 4-6 weeks could make all the difference and that still leaves time before dc2 arrives.

nearlyreadytopop Fri 18-Nov-16 21:52:03

If you don't want to stop you know you don't have too. I didn't tandem feed ( too much of a gap) but I know people who have and it's worked out well for them.

Spudlet Fri 18-Nov-16 21:54:46

I felt the same. I stopped after ten months as DS started biting (and has a lot of teeth to bite with!).

However, a month or so later and I feel much happier for having stopped. DS wasn't really bothered and I feel like I have myself back. I just bought some new bras today, in fact.

You have done brilliantly to get so far - I wouldn't want to feed two either! Be kind to yourself. You have given your DS a great start and will no doubt give your new baby just as good a start too. But you are still a person in your own right, and it's just as important that you are happy.

Nottalotta Sat 19-Nov-16 08:20:38

Thanks everyone. I think it's because I'm stopping in preparation for the new baby. Although I'm pleased about the night weaning, I think I would carry on with the morning feed until he dropped it himself, but really don't think I will manage it if the new baby is anything like ds was!

Confitdecanard Sat 19-Nov-16 08:33:44

You might find he stops on his own over the next few weeks as your milk turns to colostrum. I tandem fed for a bit (never thought I'd get to that point but I did). I actually found it helped my older one with the transition to not being the only one. I think I only actually had both latched at once on one occasion because I found that too much so the older one would wait until the little one finished. He self weaned a few months later but was down to one feed for the whole time. The downside was something called nursing aversion (for me). It was as if subconsciously I only wanted to feed the baby so when I fed the older one I would feel this strange hormonal rage. I had never heard of it before and it took me by surprise - it only happened a few times but it wasn't pleasant.

Nottalotta Sat 19-Nov-16 08:55:37

The reason I've stopped the night feeds was nursing aversion. Ds was spending more and more time latched on overnight and I couldn't bear it.

Nottalotta Sat 19-Nov-16 09:13:27

Sorry ds wailing......

He went from waking once or twice and feeding straight back to sleep, to being latched on for 2-3 hrs at a time. I wasn't sleeping and was really struggling with it, then one night he slept til 5am so I carried on not feeding after that. That was less than two weeks ago and he's slept through til 5 am 3 times and is settling back much quicker and easily without feeding (in general)

positivity123 Sat 19-Nov-16 11:36:35

No advice but just want to say there must be quite a lot for you to deal with emotionally when you have baby number 2. Your DC1 is no longer going to be your baby, he'll be the older sibling. There is no right or wrong answer to this kind of thing so just do what feels right for you and it will be the right decision for your family

BertieBotts Sat 19-Nov-16 12:18:32

Why don't you read a little bit about tandem feeding and see how you feel? If you still don't want to at least you'd know. But there are some benefits, the older child can keep the milk supply up if the baby is struggling to get a good latch for example, and it can help with the transition to being a big sibling. But it can be hard on you and with such a small gap it might be difficult to establish boundaries meaning you might end up feeling like one of them is on you all the time.

Nottalotta Sat 19-Nov-16 12:52:19

I worry that carrying on feeding ds after my milk really comes back, will encourage him to feed even more. Which I dont want. But I will read. I was not enjoying night feeds but our morning snuggle is lovely.

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