Anyone awake? Feel like I'm failing my baby (breastfeeding)

(43 Posts)
MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:25:30

My DS2 is 4 days old and I really wanted to EBF this time. With DS1 I BF but had to give formula top ups from a couple of days old until he was a few weeks old.
We've got this far with DS2 and I really thought it was going well until today. My milk came in on Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I've been feeding him for hours on end tonight and he's never satisfied. I know cluster feeding is normal but this is something else. He's sucking and sucking but only swallowing every now and again. When he comes off he cries and sucks his fist like he's starving. I know I'm making milk because I can hand express some out. I'm obviously not making enough though.
Ive been in tears all evening. I just don't know what to do or who to talk to about it.

Coffeeandafag Sun 13-Nov-16 01:31:17

Just keep going. That's what I did, I remember the despair of thinking 'that's it, there's no more milk, he's starving ' but your body is amazing and will produce more. Let him keep sucking until he falls asleep. If he hasn't had enough he'll wake again soon and hopefully you'll have produced more.

I am not an expert but have bf two dcs and your experience doesn't sound unusual to me. Keep going, you're doing an amazing thing for him smile

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Sun 13-Nov-16 01:31:18

For a start, you're not failing. Anyone who's trying their best isn't failing.

How about phoning the maternity ward? They're there 24/7 and can offer advice a reassurance.

SpeakNoWords Sun 13-Nov-16 01:33:29

Is he weeing and pooing ok? Will you be seeing a midwife or HV tomorrow or Monday? There are telephone helplines run by La Leche League that you can call, although I don't know if they are 24 hours. There's also the National Breastfeeding hotline: https://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

MessezFaire Sun 13-Nov-16 01:34:57

This was my experience too, it lasted a couple of days only and then I felt like I was bursting with milk. Someone told me it's like DS was putting out a note for the milkman, mentioning he's growing and would like some more tomorrow please. Things got better but the pattern repeated itself every few weeks for the first 3-4 months and I soon got used to it.

You're not failing your baby, you're doing really well and breastfeeding is really really tough at times

crystalballbroke Sun 13-Nov-16 01:37:11

I'm up op, firstly congratulations.

Is this the first night ds2 has done this? So was ds born on Wednesday?

What's the nappies like? Lots of wet ones? And colour of dirty ones?

(I used to be a bf peer supporter btw)

crystalballbroke Sun 13-Nov-16 01:39:42

Remember today's demand is tomorrow's supply.

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:40:23

Thanks everyone. The thing is, he's not sleeping sad he's just sucking and sucking, and occasionally coming off and crying like he's starving...
Have now resulted to formula sad I really wanted to avoid that this time... I can't stop crying and DH doesn't understand.

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:40:52

*resorted not resulted. Sorry, I'm exhausted

MinnowAndTheBear Sun 13-Nov-16 01:41:53

Congratulations on your new baby OP. Don't think of it as failing your baby, you are absolutely doing your best! As PPs have suggested, maybe ring LLL or speak to your midwife? My experience of BFing would suggest that constant feeding at this age is totally normal.

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 13-Nov-16 01:42:00

I don't know what to advise as you're making more milk than I was! I couldn't express at all and it really felt that dc had had everything. We did resort to top ups of formula during the wee small hours of the first weeks before I caught up.
I cried a lot over ebf. By 6 weeks we were ebf. And very succesfully.
I wish I'd accepted that I was doing my damnedest to do the best I could and a little bit of formula helped get us to where we needed to be.
Let the baby suckle for a bit to bring the supply up, express a bit if you can.
It may of course be that they are seeking comfort rather than food and the crying is just because they aren't reading or sleeping and a bit baffled by it.

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:42:51

Hi crystal. Yes, plenty of wet nappies. He was born on Tuesday morning. So I guess he's 5 days old now. He's had 3 poos today, they've been quite watery and browny orange.

I feel like such a failure, why can't my body do the one thing it's supposed to do for my baby?

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 13-Nov-16 01:43:49

*eating! If your 4 day old is reading then I'm all out of advice grin

AlchemySchmidtsSmile Sun 13-Nov-16 01:43:53

Get someone to make you a brew love. Next time at supermarket get some oatmeal biccies and breastfeeding teabags (they have fenugreek in). Drink more water now. Snuggle up and keep going (lansinoh needed).
It is always grim for a fortnight but you can do this honey. I would wave some pompoms if I had some x flowersstarbrewcake

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:44:30

Thanks Giddy. I wish I didn't feel so guilty about it but I was so determined this time to do it 'right', with no formula sad

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sun 13-Nov-16 01:45:22

Remember his tummy is tiny. Really tiny. At that age about the size of his fist i think and he feels everything at this age he through his stomach in a way, so sucking fists etc could mean any number of things, we think hungry, he feels 'lights too bright, what's that noise .etc'
You sound like you're doing fine, but you can do things to boost your milk like eating oats, (hob nobs! Chocolate ones probably...) and you can make lactation cookies and tea, there's recipes online. Also some local FB groups can be good for support, you're not in Kent at all are you? If so I'll pm you some details. Try to get to a bf support/clinic if you can and remember if you're tired/emotional etc all those things will make the situation seem worse. And congratulations on your bundle..mine still cluster feeds at times..he's 20 months..

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:45:36

I would be happy to let him suckle all night but my boobs are sore (one side more than the other) and he keeps coming off and crying.

AlchemySchmidtsSmile Sun 13-Nov-16 01:46:04

And if you have to mix feed, mix feed. Just try to babymoon tomorrow (lie in with baby clusterfeeding). You are not a failure, bf is hard. halo

SpeakNoWords Sun 13-Nov-16 01:47:06

It is doing it! One formula feed is not going to destroy your breastfeeding. If your baby is weeing and pooing, then he's getting lots of milk from you. They cluster feed like mad to begin with to build your supply, and it seems like they're never satisfied sometimes. But if all other signs are normal, then it isn't a problem.

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sun 13-Nov-16 01:48:37

Oh also remember you can express less than he can get from you .. I made buckets if the size of ds or the leaking was anything to go by but couldn't express anything.
Oh and you're doing fantastically! You made a person! Woo hoo! <waves pom poms>

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:48:55

Thanks youcant. No I'm not in Kent, I'm in Sussex.
I'm seeing the midwife tomorrow, I'll see what she says about it.

crystalballbroke Sun 13-Nov-16 01:49:53

MiniLop you are doing brilliantly.

You are not a failure.

It sounds like you are producing lots of milk.

I have some La leche league newborn feeding sheets (getting enough milk etc) I can scan and email to you?

AlchemySchmidtsSmile Sun 13-Nov-16 01:49:54

mini give yourself a break lovey: "right" is what gets you both through. I genuinely believe that and I bf three. If he is sleeping now, cream up your sore nipples and try to have a nap now. Formula won't kill him.

MiniLop Sun 13-Nov-16 01:50:35

Tomorrow = today (Sunday)
Didn't realise the time!

SpeakNoWords Sun 13-Nov-16 01:50:57

Doing it "right" doesn't mean no formula, it means doing whatever you need to in order for you to feed your baby. Sometimes that means a formula feed, if at that moment in time it was what felt right.

If your nipples are sore could your DS have a tongue tie?

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