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Breastfeeding not working 😢

(25 Posts)
secretgirl Thu 10-Nov-16 05:04:13

My little one is a week old today and I am so upset with the way things have gone with her feeding. I really wanted to breastfeed for a couple of months. She latched on when she was born & I kept feeding or so I thought. 24 hours later so was screaming uncontrollably. Turned out she was getting nothing from my boobs & was starving. My boobs were so sore they were actually bleeding I thatvshort space of time. So of course I said I'd give her a bottle to bridge the gap and I bought a pump. So my boobs got better after pimping a few times. But now she won't latch at all. I've been trying for the last few days & she just screams the house down so after 10 minutes of screaming I give her a bottle . I'm not managing too many expressed feeds either. Only 2 a day. I can get over her not taking my breast but I really wanted her to have the goodness of my breast milk even every 2nd bottle. I am feeling so guilty she's not getting it. Is there anyway I can pull this back??? Ann advice?? I've googled but there so much info flowers

MinnowAndTheBear Thu 10-Nov-16 05:11:33

I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to say that you have NOTHING to feel guilty about! You are doing all that you can and no one could ask for better than that.
Have you tried calling La Leche League, or googling a local breastfeeding group?

LifeBeginsNow Thu 10-Nov-16 05:19:04

My health visitor arranged for someone to come to my house and show me where I was going wrong. Call them asap as you don't want to get stressed and frustrated about breastfeeding. It should be calming and bonding.

I only needed the one visit and we were back on track.

speedyboots Thu 10-Nov-16 05:25:17

First of all don't feel guilty. You've done amazingly well so far and obviously are doing the best for your baby by making sure she isn't going hungry.
I haven't been in this situation. But could you try skin-to-skin - both get into bed wearing as little as possible. I would also recommend the laid back breastfeeding hold - google it to see a picture. My nipples were very sore at first both times until they had got used to it so some soreness is normal but if it's extreme it could be a sign of tongue tie so it would be worth getting her checked. In the mean time could you try nipple shields? And in between feeds use lots of lansinoh and maybe try to get hold of some multimam patches. Also try leaving your top off as much as possible as exposing them to the air helps.

n0nethe0riginal Thu 10-Nov-16 06:04:08

Def try nipple shields - my DD wouldn't latch on without them for a good couple of weeks, and they stopped the pain. I managed to feed her to 22 months in the end. Good luck! Bfing is so hard at the beginning but so easy once you and baby get the hang of it

BertieBotts Thu 10-Nov-16 06:20:27

Don't try nipples shields yet. They can work but they can also make things worse so should be treated with caution. They are best used on suggestion of an expert too.

I agree OP that you need real life support. If you're still in hospital ask the midwives. If you're at home but under midwives, you need to phone and ask for a home visit. If neither of those apply then contact la lecherous league or nct or look for other help locally.

This is definitely fixable, so don't worry.

BetterEatCheese Thu 10-Nov-16 06:22:36

Have you tried holding her in a different position? if you are larger breasted then the rugby hold is a life saver - my dd would not latch until I discovered it

BertieBotts Thu 10-Nov-16 06:24:34

Oh dear! Totally the wrong league there blush don't contact them!!

Helpline numbers:

DoItTooJulia Thu 10-Nov-16 06:26:32

Ok, at this hour it feels like a disaster. It's not. But, you need to get some RL help today. Phone your midwife and get her to come out-today.

You could also try LLL. There are people who will come and help you. And support you, you just need to access it.

Congratulations on your lovely newborn! Don't be hard on yourself-you're still learning.

Umblubblub Thu 10-Nov-16 06:44:41

I really struggled to breast feed my first, my milk was slow to come in and I couldn't get him to stay latched on. We had a lactation consultant recommended by our midwife come to our house for a hour and of all the baby stuff we bought, it was the best £60 we ever spent.
She taught us both how to latch, helped me find comfortable positions around the house to feed and improved my confidence.
In my area the NCT and the sure start centres ran breastfeeding support groups which we also a great support. I ended up exclusively breastfeeding my DS until he was weaned after being so close to giving up!
Please don't feel guilty though, many babies aren't breast fed and turn out absolutely fine, I'm one of them! My mum never breast fed and encouraged me +++ to give up when I tried.angry
Do the best you can, as long as your baby is well fed, it doesn't matter how you do it, and not breast feeding doesn't make you a bad mum. Xx

ZZZZ1111 Thu 10-Nov-16 08:18:46

Don't panic! It's early days yet and loads of people have problems latching and go on to BF successfully for many months/years!

You definitely need real life support from professionals. As others have said, some of your options are:

- contact your midwife - you should still be under community midwives?
- go to a breastfeeding support session at your children's centre
- call the NCT breastfeeding helpline (they may be able to send someone out to visit you and help)
- call La Leche League

My baby didn't latch properly until a week and a half after he was born due to tongue tie, but once that was all sorted we got the hang of it and are still going strong nine months in.

You can do it! Good luck.

secretgirl Thu 10-Nov-16 19:03:52

Thanks all so much for the helpful replies. I won't give up yet so. My Mam breastfed 5 of us and has tried to help so I am going to call a LLL. I live away from my family so I do feel if I was closer to them at the
Minute I would have more support and help. My partner is no support to me at all when it comes to this and at the minute I am feeling quite angry towards him for this. I have been doing skin to skin he odd time so I will pick up on that too. It doesn't help that I think maybe the baby blues are setting in too x

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Thu 10-Nov-16 19:13:33

Google laid back breastfeeding or biological nurturing for more info and pictures but try this -

Get in a comfy position where you are on the sofa or in your bed sitting in a reclined position - not laying flat - propped up on pillows or cushions. With your boobs out, lie your baby down on your chest. Make sure her feet are in contact with you so she can push herself with them. Lie with her like this for a while, stroking her, keeping her calm and see if she will latch herself on this way. You don't need to do much - she will probably push on you with her feet and bob her head around to find your nipple. I've seen babies latch with no intervention or help from their mum and mums say it's much more comfortable/less painful.

Good luck. You are doing a brilliant job.

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Thu 10-Nov-16 19:16:05


Outinthegarden Thu 10-Nov-16 19:20:30

Has your little baby (congratulations flowers) been checked for toungue tie? Both mine were toungue tied, DS couldn't latch on at all as he was 100% tied, it was very painful to try and feed him and he cried because he was hungry and just couldn't get milk. I found hand expressing and catching the drops with a syringe, you can buy them at the chemist, and feeding him with that was great and gave my nipples a rest. Your midwife and HV should both be able to check or point you in the right direction.

BertieBotts Thu 10-Nov-16 19:29:49

Grrrr to unsupportive partners. Give him a kick up the arse (can you get your mum to?!) Try to ignore him and just do your thing. And talk to your health visitor if you're worried about PND or need some support. Local breastfeeding groups or postnatal groups can be great too. Do you have older children or is it your first? NCT can often put you in touch with a group of new mums around the same stage as you which can be a lifeline. You don't have to have done their courses. If you have a children's centre, mine were also fantastic.

You are doing fantastically x

TheDeafeningClatterofDuplo Thu 10-Nov-16 19:32:10

OP it can be so hard to get help - just remember you're doing an amazing job just getting to know your baby and doing your best to learn a new skill here. I highly recommend the breastfeeding video clips for mothers on this website:

Best of luck with everything star

secretgirl Thu 10-Nov-16 23:15:50

I can't thank everyone enough for the advice. I got into the bed with her to do some skin on skin and like semi naked said she bobbed her head around loads and then eventually latched and sucked for about 10 minutes on my boob. I changed her over to the other one & she did 10 minutes there too. I am so happy. Hopefully we can keep increasing the time. I don't want her to be breastfed only. I want to combine the 2 so right now I am thrilled that there's hope it's heading in the right direction. It really isn't hard. I think support is the main key to making this work and thank god I have my Mam to help as much as she can and encourage. I found a breast feeding group in my area that I will go to next week hopefully

Youremywifenow Fri 11-Nov-16 01:40:49

A word of caution though, from my experience, I wouldn't mix feed until you've established breastfeeding properly.
I did this with my first and he ended up just preferring the bottle as it was easier for him (tongue tie) and wouldn't breastfeed at all. Was determined to feed my second so didn't do expressed bottles until much later and am now 7 months in. You can top up with a syringe or spoon if you need to.
Another good position is lying on your side, esp. good if you have large breasts.
Good luck, it sounds like you're getting there. Kellymom is a great site for information.

My2centsworth Fri 11-Nov-16 01:53:57

My suggestion is that tomorrow morning you feed her however you have been. Get a tonne of nice snacks and possibly a sandwich for later and a huge glass of water. Then lie on the couch or bed with the TV on and her lying face down at your breast, let her have full access herself so skin to skin. Let her root and latch when she is not really hungry as she dozes. You chill out completely in front of the TV and spend as long as you possibly can like that, preferably the whole day on and off. Let her latch on and off all day and only give another bottle if you have too. DS had the world's shittiest latch at the start and that was the only thing that worked for us.

Congratulations and best of luck.

My2centsworth Fri 11-Nov-16 01:55:18

Feck sorry I missed your update. I am such an eejit. I am delighted it went well. Best of luck.

BertieBotts Fri 11-Nov-16 08:43:58

Hurrah! smile

Go with your instincts. Just remember the most important thing. The more you feed, the more milk you'll make. So if you mix and are worried about supply or your baby seems to want more, it's important to offer the extra from the breast rather than the bottle in order to preserve breastfeeding. It's not possible to completely "empty" a breast because milk is constantly being produced, so you don't need to wait for your breasts to "refill" either.

This is good:

seminakedinsomebodyelsesroom Fri 11-Nov-16 10:02:09

Ahh yay!! Great news, well done. I absolutely agree with what My2cents and Bertie Botts have said. Let her have unrestricted boob access for a couple of days. Just stay in bed/on sofa with loads of food and drinks for you and TV, and skin to skin. This is absolutely the best thing you can do for your supply.

Although please do be careful about falling asleep with her on you in bed or on the sofa.

secretgirl Sat 12-Nov-16 11:15:29

Well I got nipple shields yesterday & they are working great. A bit messy but at least she's feeding from me. Thanks so much for all the wonderful advice everyone. It's great to have people to 'talk' to. It seems we have a small night owl on our hands too, she's sleeping all day & awake all night halo

HeCantBeSerious Sat 12-Nov-16 11:17:56

That's normal for all babies (although she may well be a night owl).

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