Day 3 and considering quitting breastfeeding already and feeling wretched

[Nickname1980]

This is my DC3 and previous DC bf for a year-ish, give or take.

It's always been hard at first for me, never come naturally. Six weeks or more of pain, mastitis, etc, before it's ever cracked.

But this time I had an EMCS and am physically in bad shape. Bf is super painful. I don't know if I have the will to power through.

I don't know what to do. There's too much pain and tiredness going on in my body right now. I just want to enjoy my baby. But I did eventually enjoy breastfeeding before, and I obviously know it's the best thing for the baby.

No idea what to do.

[Nickname1980]

Anyone any advice?

[YoureMyWifeNowDave]

My DS is 13 weeks now and BF - we have had a few ups and downs with it but I have tried to just take it one day at a time - when I'm struggling I say just give it another day and see how things are then and so far we have managed to keep going. I did the same when feeding DD and she fed until 14 months. In the end though you have to do what is best for you, there is no point in making yourself ill. Have you spoken to someone about your pain relief? Maybe this needs tweaking a little.

[foximusprime1]

Hello Lovely,
I was in your position 4 months ago, shitty labour and a emergency section, I didn't have my baby with me for 4days as he was poorly and in NICU I had to shuffle up to the ward numerous times a day/ night to feed him....I was brutal to say the least, in agony after the section, I couldn't even get up properly and walking was HARD! the only thing I can say is in a 1 week time things will get easier on your body, its amazing how quick you recover, I nearly give up soooo many times because I was in agony, couldn't get comfy at all!! for me the best thing I did was put pillows behind my back to prop me up, a pillow on my tummy to protect the scar and obviously a pillow under baby I found it easier and more comfortable to do the rugby ball when feeding because then that way he wasn't on my belly.. I also got a little step to put my feet on (Tesco)
I promise you in a weeks time you will be moving about a lot easier and you wont be in as much pain!! stick with it if you want to but if you don't then don't stress, do what works for you and your little one xx

[Nickname1980]

You're right, youremywifenow, I think my painkillers definitely need tweaking. They're not very strong! And I think you're also right about one day at a time. I don't want to miss the experience I (eventually) loved with my other DC, I'm just exhausted at the thought of more hard stuff!

foximusprime - oh what a hard time you went through!! It sounds like you're both all better now though? I like those pillow tips, I am going to try that. My back hurts, my belly hurts, even my bum hurts (cos of all the sitting) at the moment! I think I need to get a comfier system going. And take it a day at a time! How long until you felt "recovered"? Or, at least, more yourself?

[foximusprime1]

yes we are both very well thank you!
I know exactly what your going through pain wise, I somehow managed to pull the muscles over my ribs and upper back because I was tense and holding my self awkwardly when nursing. I'd say after a week you will feel a lot better than you do now, for me i was back to normal by week 2 but my scar was still sore and i did have a pulling sensation in my tummy area.
look after yourself and don't over do it, oh and wear big pants because normal pants can rub the scar area!

[foximusprime1]

forgot to add, I was on the mega strong co-codamol every 4-6 hours

[PoloZolo]

Just wanted to come on to say I felt the same as you recently. Fed my oldest DC past a year after some initial soreness/pain and always assumed I'd breastfeed my second baby if at all possible -
3 days post c section this time and I was ready to quit, sore nipples, still recovering from c section pain etc. Totally considering switching to formula.
In the end I decided just to give it a week and wait till my milk had come in, plus got some suppprt to get a better latch to help with the soreness, and that's all it took, breastfeeding fine after that. Milk coming in helped I think, also agree with above poster who said recovering from c section does suddenly seem to get better once you are past the worst in the first week or so.
My best tip is just tell yourself you'"@ do it for one more day, or to the end of the week, or whatever seems manageable and then review it then, you may well find your feelings have changed when you reach your deadline

[PoloZolo]

Oh and I'd say I felt better recovered by day 10. Not 'fully' recovered as still tenderness around tummy, but a lot less fragile!

[Nickname1980]

Thank you polozoo! I am totally taking this one day at a time advice. Today is a bad day, bleeding nipples etc.

But I am going to keep going today, and see about tomorrow. I got some of those healing cups from amazon, so will see if they help. My baby's latch is usually good but the odd bad one just makes it all go back to square one!

Thank you for advice about recovery etc, everyone. It does feel like it's so far away at the moment! I was expecting to feel excited and in a newborn bubble rather than in pain all over my body and a bit fed up, sad and guilty

[PoloZolo]

Oh poor you, I really hope the pain and soreness start to improve soon & you can start enjoying the newborn phase soon. Don't feel guilty though, you've been through a lot physically remember & need to patient with your body and give it a chance to heal.
I know what you mean about one bad feed making a difference to the pain, I found i sometimes didn't latch the baby very well during night time feeds because I was tired and not sitting up properly in bed etc, it's so easy to get lazy with it in the middle of the night when you are exhausted!
Good luck :)

[DrunkenUnicorn]

Also maybe worth getting baby checked for tongue tie?

I fed ds1 and 2, and assumed number 3 would be the easiest. I just couldn't get it right. I'm an nct trained bf supporter and I felt so stupid that I was struggling. Nipples weren't shredded but by the end of a feed looked lipstick shaped and sore.

At 12 weeks I paid for a private consult with an IBCLC and she diagnosed posterior tongue tie. It was traumatic having it cut (it isn't usually) but with 10 days we were feeding well and pain free.

Baby is now 5m+ and has been exclusively breastfed so far. With tongue tie and silent and persistent reflux he has been the most dissector to feed. But I'm so glad we kept going and got really good help.

Good luck

[Nickname1980]

Thank you, polozoo!

I had been wondering about tongue-tie, drunkenunicorn, will my midwife be able to spot it? She's coming tomorrow. I bottle fed him another big feed this afternoon as the cracks were just too painful. It's a bit heartbreaking to think I won't get those lovely breastfeeding snuggles if I don't preserver. I'm so glad you managed to get your little boy's tongue-tie and reflux sorted! How did you cope with the pain in the meantime? I bought a few different things from Amazon that are meant to soothe and heal!

[Nickname1980]

Preserver? I mean persevere!