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Breastfeeding anger

(14 Posts)
NewlySkinnyMe Fri 21-Oct-16 11:03:37

This is really weird for me so I am hoping someone can help.

I have a 2 yo who nurses to sleep. So at a maximum 2 times a day. I also have a 4 month old who is ebf.

I bave always thought I would happily bf until both were ready to stop by themselves. I love it and want it to continue. However, recently when my 2 yo nurses i feel so angry. I can't explain it but if she doesn't go tk sleep within 5-10 minutes of starting I feel so cross with her. I absolutely adore her and never shout at her but i am becoming extremely agitated by it.

Confusingly I am fine bf my 4 month old. Could probably nurse him for hours.

Why do i feel like this??

NewlySkinnyMe Fri 21-Oct-16 11:04:19

Has anyone else been through it. Is it time for me to stop bf her?

NewlySkinnyMe Fri 21-Oct-16 11:06:07

I am worried because if i stop bf her I will have to stop bf my son as she will find it so hard to accept she cant do it whrn she sees he can. So my plan was to wait another 2 months and slowly phase both out.

But I can't get this angry with her just because she's nursing. How horrible of me.

Smartleatherbag Fri 21-Oct-16 11:09:08

Aw, don't be hard on yourself, it's hard work having 2 little ones.
Try calling national breastfeeding helpline. They are totally non judgy and help with stopping feeding all the time. They're there for your support.

SpeakNoWords Fri 21-Oct-16 11:09:43

It's not happened to me but it called nursing aversion and can happen when you're tandem feeding. There are lots of articles online about it, so perhaps you can find out more about if it will last.

SleepFreeZone Fri 21-Oct-16 11:09:58

I think you have to work out what bit of it is making you cross. Is it that you are already being constrained time wise and you feel like she doesn't really need it nutrition wise? Is it the times she is asking for it? Is it the way she is feeding or maybe she is whining or trying to act more babyish? I'm just guessing, only you know. But some of those things you might be able to change and you might find you then feel less irritated.

Smartleatherbag Fri 21-Oct-16 11:11:05

PS, all parents feel furious, frustrated etc etc at times.

MyHairNeedsASnip Fri 21-Oct-16 11:14:34

It sounds very difficult for you. My first thought was D-MER - disphoric milk ejection reflex. That can cause feelings of anger, do you have any breastfeeding supporters you can talk things through with?

SpeakNoWords Fri 21-Oct-16 11:16:53

MeeWhoo Fri 21-Oct-16 11:22:56

As a previous poster mentioned it could be aversion. I didn't know it could be an issue with tandem feeding but it is not at all unusual to develop an aversion, which can be almost like the sort of feeling you get when someone scratches a blackboard with their nails, when you are feeding and pregnant at the same time.

nippa Fri 21-Oct-16 11:23:04

I had this with my daughter when she was about two, but only during night feeds. I would get so wound up and feel like screaming if the feeds went on too long, but I was perfectly happy breastfeeding at other times of the day. In the end I decided to night-wean her, which worked for us, and it was surprisingly easy to do. I just told her there was no more milk in the night, just water, and, amazingly, she accepted it straight away. We carried on breastfeeding during the day until she was three and a half.

I think it's fairly common to feel like this, especially if you are tandem feeding. Kellymom and La Leche League International have articles about it - Google "nursing agitation" to find them.

NewlySkinnyMe Fri 21-Oct-16 13:18:34

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I really appreciate it. Thank you especially for advice on where to read about. It's good to know I am not the only one.

I only bf her once at bedtime and once at naptime so not often and it is the length of tkme it takes that gets to me. It could be ten minutes, which is nothing but it irritates
after that. Sometimes it takes me hours to go to sleep so its not her fault, I don't understand why I let my emotions at that time overwhelm me when logically 15 seconds after I have finished I can see I shouldn't be so wound up x

Kira2001 Tue 25-Oct-16 21:52:52

I am new to this website so apologies if i havent figured out how to use it or reply etc!

I am bf my 18 week old and need her to go onto bottles buy she refuses!
My hubby tried and i tried and the diffetent teats etc buy she just refuses!
Am so sorry can anyone help please am desperate! Thanku x

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 25-Oct-16 22:03:13

Kira you need to start your own thread. You'll get loads of advice.

Newly It was a long time ago for me, but if I remember correctly, I made a big deal to my older child of how he is a big boy now and that's why he gets a drink of warm milk from a grown up cup now. I kept the close cuddle time at bed time but it was book time and quiet chat about his worries time not booby time. He rather enjoyed this aspect of being bigger than little sister and liked to suggest that maybe she needed some "mummy milk cos she is a baby" whenever she was crying.

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