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One month old baby still not attaching to breast.. Need serious help/advice

(20 Posts)
user1475328480 Sat 01-Oct-16 15:03:10

Hello all.. My baby is one month old but he is still not latching on which makes me feel horrible to express day and night.. It feels like very exhausted and my it's awful with sore boobs.. Is this common for some babies not to attach for this much age?? Will he ever get there or should I continue to express forever?? Anyone have had similar experience earlier? Can I get some help from anyone like midwife etc?? Pls suggest.. I'm feeling very ill and low..

SpeakNoWords Sun 02-Oct-16 00:06:57

Have you spoken to your health visitor and asked for more support with this? Are there breastfeeding drop-in groups you can go to, where someone can watch you try and latch your baby on?

Both my babies took a little while to learn to latch, so it is possible to get them back on the breast. Has your baby been checked for tongue or lip tie? That can make latching tricky.

Keep trying to latch him on at each feed, sometimes halfway through a feed can work better than before.

You could also see a lactation consultant privately if you can afford to, rather than wait for the health visitor to refer you.

Soyouare2faced Sun 02-Oct-16 00:15:27

Do you have a drop in clinic you could try? It's so difficult and I had bother with DD, I took her to a breast feeding drop in group and they were brilliant. Also someone came to see me before I left hospital with some contact details for help, maybe you did too?

northerngoldilocks Sun 02-Oct-16 00:17:49

You need to find someone who knows what to look for / how to help, rather then just a health visitor or midwife who may not have had specialist training as after a month it's unlikely to just be a case of chanting 'nose to nipple' to you and the baby miraculously latching! Ideally you'd find a lactation consultant. Have you found any drop in breastfeeding support groups / cafes? Do LLL have any active groups where you are? As pp noted, would be good to check for tongue tie- but posterior as well as anterior and posterior are harder for non specialists to note! Good luck. You've done amazingly to express for a month, it's such hard work, especially with a tiny baby. Whilst you're looking for the support things that will help (or at least won't hurt) are plenty of skin to skin time and trying different feeding positions - some babies find it easier to latch lying down etc.

normage Sun 02-Oct-16 00:22:04

Hi. Try ringing La Leche League UK on 0345 120 2918. Helpline is manned by volunteer mums who have breastfed themselves. The National.Childbirth Trust have a similar helpline. Both options will give you support, encouragement and advice. I rang a few times when I started breastfeeding. You are definitely not alone. Stick with it, but get support.

Rockingaround Sun 02-Oct-16 00:25:47

Hi, I've linked to the bfn website, I think you should call them, they're marvellous. There will be practical support in your area which they can sign post you to. Additionally I've linked to tongue tie, which I am in no way saying your LO has, it's just sometimes the cause of a poor latch. Similarly it's difficult once your in a cycle of bottle feeding and breast for the baby to be confused .... Is its much easier for them to drink from the bottle and they have to work much harder at the breast. Seriously though call the BfN as they will ask you all of the right questions. The helpline is run by volunteers who've all had training and have breastfed their own babies.

user1475328480 Sun 02-Oct-16 02:43:57

Thank you all for your precious time and suggestions.. I'll keep trying and following them..

I did go to one of the breastfeeding drop in group when Baby was around 2 weeks old.. The nearest one we have is around 35mins drive away and I had to wait for so long for my turn that Baby had to have next feed while waiting and by the time my turn came in, he fell asleep and that really didn't help.. Wanted to try it again but Hubby started going back to work and so couldn't try that again yet..

Health visitor and midwives I spoke to kept on telling nose to nipple and keep trying.. But day by day I'm losing hope as my breasts started to leak more and leaving me painful sad..

When I was in hospital one of the midwives checked and said that he is not having tongue tie but never heard of interior/ exterior and lip ties.. My next health visitor appointment is on 17th October.. If I want to get him checked to make sure there are no ties in the meantime what can I do?

@SpeakNoWords - when you say both your babies took time, how much time did they take? More than a month? Also, how can I get contacts of some lactation consultants and any idea how much it will cost me?

@Soyousre2faced - I didn't get any contact details before leaving hospital other than done leaflets on how to breastfeed and bottle feed and the breastfeeding drop in info!!

@northerngoldilocks and @normage - didn't know about LLL!! I'll try and contact them.. I got a breastfeeding network leaflet from local child care Center but whenever I try to call on the number that's provided in the leaflet I just get to hear some automated message and asks me to try again later as no one is ready to take the call..

@Rockingaround - thank you for the link about tongue tie..

SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum Sun 02-Oct-16 03:02:10

Agree with all the advice above. I had exactly the same problem with DS, he just couldn't get the latch right, so I expressed for 6 weeks, and carried on trying. After that, he managed to latch with nipple shields, and a few weeks later I managed to ditch them too. It was hard and took a lot of preserving, but we got there in the end - he was about 10 weeks I think when it all fell into place. The one piece of advice I would add is if you think you might want to go back to bottles at some point, keep giving a bottle a day. I didn't, and had problems getting DS to take bottles again when I went back to work.

user1475328480 Sun 02-Oct-16 09:00:52

Thank you SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum.

May I ask which nipple shield you have used - any recommendation? Should i be cautious in getting the right one to make it less complicated, as he might be already getting confused with bottle and breast?

I've seen online and think Medela ones might be good, but I'm using MAM bottles.. Not sure how to proceed..

SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum Sun 02-Oct-16 09:05:51

I used the avent ones, but didn't end up using them for too long.

I wouldn't call myself an expert, and here will be people on here far more knowledgeable than me about feeding issues, but I just wanted to say that feeding can still work, even where it takes a while to get established. Good luck with it all!

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed Sun 02-Oct-16 09:06:30

It may not work for all, but have you tried using a nipple shield?

DS had difficulty latching, so I used a nipple shield to make the target more prominent and similar yo a bottle teat, which he seemed to have no issues feeding from. I would then slip it off mid-feed, by that point my nipple was more pronounced so he didn't notice the difference. Eventually, we ditched the nipple shield altogether.

Stevefromstevenage Sun 02-Oct-16 09:08:50

Definitely try LLL I got amazing advice and time and commitment from them and all for free. Best of luck with you little one and congrats. X

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed Sun 02-Oct-16 09:10:49

Ah, just seen that SchnitzelvonKrummsverylowtum also recommended a nipple shield too.

The fact that I was already feeding DS expressed milk in a bottle didn't concern me over nipple confusion.

I can't remember the brand I used, but they were very very soft, almost sheath like. So it worked in a way that it just enhanced the size of the nipple rather than mimicking a bottle teat.

eurochick Sun 02-Oct-16 09:29:40

I had a prem baby who couldn't latch. I expressed and fed her with a bottle. I kept trying breast but nothing seemed to work. I was advised to babymoon with her (in bed, her on me in a nappy, skin to skin) but that didn't work for us. She would take a tiny bit using a nipple shield but that wasn't the answer for us either. I just kept trying. Eventually, after a couple of months I gave up and just expressed. Bizarrely, at about 5 months (3 adjusted) I gave her a skin to skin cuddle as she was yowling while my husband prepared a bottle and she just latched on and went for it! I fed her a few times and I think she would have carried on, but I was about to go back to work then and we couldn't afford for her to start rejecting bottles so I stuck with expressing and bottle feeding. I just wanted to share this to show they can get the hang of it late.

Stevefromstevenage Sun 02-Oct-16 10:41:48

I used 2 kinds of nipple shields. Scent ones which were actually very rigid and then medela ones which I ordered online and were very soft and pliable and much better I think.

Stevefromstevenage Sun 02-Oct-16 10:42:02

Scent = Avent

user1475328480 Mon 03-Oct-16 01:23:58

Thank you all.. I'll try the nipple shields.. And your experiences give me a ray of hope.. Fingers crossed.. I've tried calling LLL yesterday with no luck.. Will try again today..

KnitsBakesAndReads Mon 03-Oct-16 09:41:49

Just in case you don't get through to the LLL helpline, the NCT also run a helpline which you could try. The number is 0300 330 0700.

bigmamapeach Mon 03-Oct-16 09:53:20

agree with suggestions above! nipple shields may be helpful in your case. best if you can get someone to help you use them/work out if they are sized correctly etc and give advice. if you can't easily get to a drop in group near you, may be worth seeing if you can find an IBCLC (lactation consultant - this is the professional qualification you should look for) near you, but would have to pay privately. can search at for someone who may be able to help. very best of luck.

user1475328480 Thu 06-Oct-16 07:18:17

Thank you all.. I've retried with nipple shields.. Surprisingly he is getting on well with them whereas earlier he just used to throw them away.. Fingers crossed he will get there.. Thank you all.. I got some help from NCT Breastfeeding supporter and also went to a local BF drop-in where she advised me of a different sitting position and my li'l one is loving it..

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