Giving up breastfeeding after 4 weeks(9 Posts)
I'm feeling terrible about this so wanted to know if anyone has been in the same position.
Ds is 4 weeks. Bfing got off to a bad start- sore nipples from a bad latch, posterior tt snipped at 2 weeks, now using nipples shields as he won't take the breast without them, and feeding has always been still painful with them on. I dread every feed as I've never experienced one where he's not screaming and scratching at his face/my breasts, my nipples are blistered and I've noticed they're starting to be pulled into the tiny holes of the shield. He's on each boob for about half an hour and falls asleep but then wakes himself up wanting more.
I really have tried and had so much help from 3 different clinics and from s private LC.
I've heard it gets better but I seem to be in more pain than I was last week and can't decide when to make the call to give up and switch to bottle feeding ebm and formula, my nipples can't take much more!
Honestly it's 13 years since I breast fed. You have done fantastically well against all odds. My advice would be to say - enough.
Acknowledge how great you have been but accept that it's time for a change for your sake, health and well being and hopefully for your baby.
Others may not agree but I had a similar time of it and I really wish someone had said this to me and given me 'permission' to stop.
Thinking of you as it's such a difficult time xx
Cinnamon what a horrible painful start
You don't need 'permission' to decide whether enough is enough, and you don't need 'persuasion' to carry on, either.
You can make your own decision.
There are other things to try, but only you can decide whether to give other things a go. One quick thing might be to try different shields. Those are making thing worse. Another quick thing might be saline soaks, and possibly multimam compresses on your nipples.
But it is up to you.
You have been through a lot. If you do switch you can express if you want to, and when you give a bottle of formula or ebm, you can do it skin to skin, with all the cosines and contact of BF. If you continue, then that's up to you, too. I can tell you that sometimes things just do get better, though the fact that it's worse than last week does indicate you need to try something else.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
I was in your position (baby is now 5 months) minus the painful nipples. We made the decision to move to formula after tongue tie was discovered at a breastfeeding clinic, despite 12-15 midwives, nursery nurses and health visitors (hospital and community) saying that his behaviour was normal and any tongue tie would have been spotted already. It wasn't - he was acting constantly hungry and miserable because that's exactly how he felt.
Moving to formula was a lifesaver for us. Yes I felt guilty. But the change in my son was amazing, he became calmer and happier and slept so much better, whic all helped to improve my pnd. So it was the right decision for us.
You could also try expressing and mixed feeding for a while if you're unsure. You should express a little anyway if you stop so that you're supply reduces slowly.
I had problems breast feeding too, which is why we are doing FF. (currently typing this while I warm up a bottle for DS). Do NOT feel guilty about this; you have done so much already, and being a mum is not just about breast feeding. Two of my cousins were FF and have grown up into intelligent beautiful women. My partner was breast fed and has mental and physical conditions. What I'm saying is, in the long term it does not matter. What matters is ensuring your child is loved and fed!
8 years ago I stopped BF DS after a week because he refused, it was a huge struggle, it hurt and he lost 26% of his birthweight. He was, and still is, extremely tall. Very healthy, bright. A bit shouty at times! I was wracked with guilt at the time and cried buckets. I'm not sure what about now! I had access to formula, clean running water and refrigeration (those amazing looking Perfect Prep machines hadn't been invented then). I saved myself from much misery and probably saved myself from PND. DS put on weight s d we were allowed home from hospital. Win win situation all round.
Things went better with DD. I BF her for 3 weeks! She was keener than DS but I still hated it.
You've done a brilliant job for 4 weeks, but give yourself permission to stop BF if it's not working for both of you. There are many ways to nurture s baby, breastfeeding is just one of them. In 4 or 5 months time it won't matter.
Sounds like your nipples need a break! Don't feel guilty, give it two years and you won't give a monkeys how he was fed. Have a break then carry on, mix feed or give up completely. You don't need our permission, do what you want.
Hi all thanks for the responses.
It's not really about asking for permission, j just wondered if anyone had been in a similar position and how they feel looking back.
Went back to the breastfeeding clinic today and she said she was baffled by ds... Which isn't really much help.
Bloody exhausted, think he's not taking in enough milk through the shields hence never being satisfied and constantly hungry. A lot of people have said to try and get to 6 weeks but think I'm ready to stop now and will pump as long as my milk lasts.
Thanks all for sharing your experiences.
I stopped after 4 weeks, DD never seemed satisfied, no idea what the problem was (no support) but my instinct was telling me she was hungry and not getting what she needed. She was a different baby on formula and, although I was disappointed because I really wanted to bf, I never regretted switching her. Personally I think if it feels like time to give up, whether that's because baby doesn't seem happy or because you're struggling, then it probably is time. Ultimately a happy baby and mum is the most important thing
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