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I hate breast feeding

(44 Posts)
Littleelffriend Wed 08-Jun-16 17:36:19

I'm sat here crying I feel like such a failure. I hate breast feeding. My 5 week old is combination fed, and I force myself to feed her and express. I feel so guilty but I hate it. Does anyone else feel like this?

TormundGiantsbabe Wed 08-Jun-16 17:38:07

Just stop then.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Jun-16 17:39:56

Stop then, seriously in 16 years time you will not be able to pick out the BF kids in a line up. It doesn't matter how your baby is fed as long as it is. brewflowers

TheLadyWithTheYellowHat Wed 08-Jun-16 17:41:28

I felt exactly the same with ds, I carried on but hated every minute of it, I finally stopped at three months if you persevere as much as you can you've given your baby the best start in life so don't fret too much about giving up!flowers

WineSpider Wed 08-Jun-16 17:42:27

I hated it too so stopped at 6 weeks. Felt guilty at the time but when your 2 year old is happy and healthy it really doesn't matter!
About to have DC2 and will aim for a couple of weeks then gladly move onto bottles. No guilt this time!
Enjoy your baby and don't let the bf guilt / hate spoil things. You will be happier for it. 5 weeks is brilliant in any case.

thrillhouse Wed 08-Jun-16 17:44:21

Nice sensitive responses there hmm

OP, what is it about it you hate? Do you think it's something that you could work past?

If so then do you have support around you, do you think if you had help you might feel differently?

Ultimately if you do want to stop then there's nothing wrong with that. But I understand it's not as easy as "just stop".

What would you say to a friend in your position?

crayfish Wed 08-Jun-16 17:44:24

Give yourself a deadline and if you still feel the same then stop, it's not compulsory. DS was a breast refuser so I exclusively expressed, I hated it but promised myself I could stop guilt-free if I made it to six weeks. I did and whilst it wasn't guilt free initially, I did feel immediately relieved.

Honestly, it's not for everyone and that's ok.

thrillhouse Wed 08-Jun-16 17:44:57

X post, my first sentence there was at the first two responses blush

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Jun-16 17:45:06

Don't think of it as giving up rather just ' changing' the way you feed smile

crayfish Wed 08-Jun-16 17:46:08

You're not a failure by the way. I felt the same so I understand, but you definitely are not a failure.

BikeRunSki Wed 08-Jun-16 17:48:14

I hated it. With DS I started bottle feeding after a week (he'd lost 23% of his birth weight). With DD I persevered for 3 weeks. Bottle feeding my babies was one of my best ever parenting descisons. My school are now 4 and 7, talk, healthy and strong. You could not tell which of their class mates were breast or bottle fed.

There are many ways to nurture your child. Breastfeeding is just one of them. In a year's time it won't matter either way.

clarrrp Wed 08-Jun-16 17:48:52

Just stop then.

This.

There are a lot of people who will put you under a huge amount of pressure to breastfeed and make you feel guilty if you don't - but millions of kids are formula fed every day and they are just fine, so don't worry about it.

If you don't like it then don't do it. Happy mum, happy baby.

DoItTooJulia Wed 08-Jun-16 17:49:23

You've done amazingly to get to this stage, you know that right?

But DameD is right as usual it's just swapping one type of feeding for another! As longs he's fed, you're winning!

Congratulations flowers on the baby!

DoItTooJulia Wed 08-Jun-16 17:49:36

Waaay too many !!!

AliceInHinterland Wed 08-Jun-16 17:50:16

They are only little babies for a short time - don't spend it making yourself miserable. I enjoy BF'ing and find it relatively easy and that's why I do it - not because I'm morally superior to anyone else. If I didn't like it, I would find it too much of a faff to bother with, and I have never wanted to bother expressing. I have endless respect for people who keep trying when it hurts/they have to express etc - and equal respect for people who know when it's not right for their family! Basically respect for anyone bringing up tiny babies because that stuff is hard.

Minimalteserbunny Wed 08-Jun-16 17:52:08

flowers cake for you poor you what has happened to make you so sad?

What do you hate about it? Is it painful? Did you always want to BF tell us more about how you got here ie Mixed feeding/expressing

It's vital you make an informed decision before stopping because once you stop you cannot go back, I would never make such a big decision when I'm sad and vulnerable OP

Littleelffriend Wed 08-Jun-16 18:49:40

Thanks it helps to know others feel the same. Dd was premature and we ended up in a mess combination feeding in hospital. She lost too much weight in the first couple of days. It doesn't hurt. Sometimes she struggles to get on. I think her mouth is too small. Every time she feeds she needs a top up of either expressed or formula so I don't see the point. I can't express enough to do this exclusive.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Wed 08-Jun-16 18:52:23

I was in exactly the same position OP,ds was prem. Nearly killed me expressing. Wish I'd stopped sooner as was emotionally and physically wrecked x

pocketsized Wed 08-Jun-16 18:55:51

I hated it too.the sensation made me feel panicky, nauseous and light headed. I dreadded DD waking uo to feed. I felt such a relief when I stopped.

I won't be breastfeeding the next one.

Littleelffriend Wed 08-Jun-16 18:58:43

It's just so tiring feeding expressing and making formula. I hate the sensation of bf. It doesn't give me the same feelings I think others get. I don't mind expressing but as I said I can't get the volume. It makes me feel crap

FabFiveFreddie Wed 08-Jun-16 19:02:39

Just stop. Give the baby formula (you will not have any worry that she's not getting enough) and cut yourself some slack.

It's okay, honestly. For many babies and many mothers in many different situations, breast is NOT best, and we are lucky to have an alternative.

Congrats on the baby.

Babettescat Wed 08-Jun-16 19:04:07

1. It's not accurate to say that breastfeeding "doesn't matter".

2. It is very very accurate though that you should not do anything that you don't wish to do. Never. Ever.

We can all support the OP by stressing point 2 above without resorting to point 1 - which is untrue and unnecessary.

Littleelffriend Wed 08-Jun-16 19:10:44

I think I've just had a shitty day,thanks for all the supportive responses x

thrillhouse Wed 08-Jun-16 19:21:17

Minimal that's not strictly true, you can relactate (though it would take some work).

flowers to you OP.

TormundGiantsbabe Wed 08-Jun-16 19:51:33

I was being supportive. Being told it was ok to stop was ridiculously important to me when I just couldn't get the hang of bf dc. I felt like the weight of the guilt at wanting desperately to stop was crushing me and i couldn't stop because I would be a Bad Mum.

I'm still feeding dc2 at 19 months because we had a completely different journey and experience. I took eachfeed one at a time, and I never felt the need to wish I could stop. So IME if you really want to stop, then just stop. It's ok.

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