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Feel guilty about stopping breastfeeding

(6 Posts)
milkyman Wed 04-May-16 16:13:19

My first ds was breastfed for 6 days and then got mastitis. I told myself i would not beat myself up about this second time around. I gave myself the aim of doing one feed of the colostrum for second baby. I had a csection and was readmitted to A&E on day of discharge due to severe pain. I have managed to breastfeed for the last 3.5 weeks despite bejng v poorly. I am now fonding it increasingly difficult and am in a lot of pain (latch problems). I've tried different things but had enough of pain and would likw to stop but feel bad. The midwives and HV have said I have done brilliantly and given her the best start with all the good stuff but still feel bad.

getlostdailyfail Wed 04-May-16 16:16:35

Don't feel bad. You've given your baby the best start. Its also much more important to look after yourself. Your baby will benefit more from a healthy and well mummy than breast milk.

Also, many of us were weaned at 2/3 months, so really this isn't very different.

jimpam Wed 04-May-16 16:47:52

Don't feel guilty, as PP said, the most important thing for your baby is for you to be healthy. Mastitis is horrendous, I've never felt more ill than when I had it. Hope you feel better soon.

ArsePicker Wed 04-May-16 20:11:09

DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP

You've done amazingly.

tiktok Thu 05-May-16 09:12:15

milkyman, just telling yourself not to feel bad, or even hearing people say this to you, is prob not enough sad

Is there someone you can talk to, who will listen to your feelings about this, and help you make your own decision and feel strong and confident about it? I think it will help if you work out what it is about breastfeeding that you feel you/your baby will miss out on if you stop.

If it's closeness and contact, then you can formula feed skin to skin, you can feed responsively and flexibly, and you can be the main/sole feeder while your baby is small. With those aspects in place, you will mimic some of the nicer aspects of breastfeeding.

If it's being in tune with your baby, then being pain-free and comfortable while formula feeding will help with that.

If it's the health aspects, then paying careful attention to preparing the powder milk safely will help minimise risk of gastro/infection.

You may not have to stop entirely - it might be worth thinking about retaining some breastfeeding for as long as your milk lasts. In any case, if your baby latches at all (sometimes babies do this better when sleepy, or you can try co-bathing and see if your baby latches on spontaneously), then you can continue putting your baby to the breast even if there is no actual feeding smile ). Or you can express for a while.

Yes - your mental health and well being are part of being a mother to your new baby and your first child - and if it's important for you to retain some breastfeeding, then this might be an option to consider. If it feels better to stop entirely, then think about the ways to make formula feeding closer to bf.

I hope things work out for you.

Jessica98 Thu 05-May-16 17:21:57

Dont beat urself up milkyman, I've been through this too and it's of no use to feel guilty. I resorted to milk donors and to organic formulas like this one and my baby was very happy with it. There is no time for bad feelings. Enjoy the time with your baby to the last drop.

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