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Really struggling to decide whether to bf or formula feed

(15 Posts)
IndiansInTheLobby Tue 22-Mar-16 06:22:40

Hi all,
I'm currently 6 months pregnant with dc2. Ds who is now 4, was bf for 3 months. I found it really difficult as he had bad reflux, fed all the time as he never took much, had sore nipples due to latch etc. I felt incredible guilt when I stopped breast feeding but also relief as I had felt quite isolated by it. Anyway, I swore I would not put myself through the guilt/sadness again.

So now I am pregnant with Dd, and I have a few things going on in my head.
Firstly the Dr said that as I am on Prozac I would have to swap anti depressants in order to bf. I'm not keen to swap as I get on well with Prozac and ideally want to come off ads later this year. Secondly, when told this I felt relief as I had such a difficult time with ds I thought 'phew, it won't all be on me!'
However, the guilt is now setting in. I am in a mess regarding what to do feeding wise. I had decided to formula feed from birth, but now I'm not sure as I'm starting to feel like I'll be doing my baby a disservice. Everyone in my circle breastfeeds and I do feel the pressure.

Any thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated.

ScarlettDarling Tue 22-Mar-16 06:28:08

As someone who breastfed for over a year with one dc, and only a couple of weeks with the other, I can tell you that you really don't need to agonise over this. In your situation it sounds as if formula feeding would be much more suitable for you this time around.

Yes, we all know that in an ideal world we'd all breastfeed, but sometimes it isn't an ideal world, and formula milk is a godsend. Your new baby really won't care that they get their milk from a bottle instead of a breast, honestly!

Suzietwo Tue 22-Mar-16 06:37:37

Oh Christ you're far better off keeping yourself mentally well than trying to breastfeed in circs where you're already hesitant. It's a disaster waiting to happen! Partic with a second child - you'll have less time

Feeding should be convenient and practical. Not forced and guilt ridden. I loathe the crap around breast feeding. It's such nonsense

ICJump Tue 22-Mar-16 06:43:34

You can take Prozac and breastfeed. Yes some may go through but there isn't evidence of adverse effects to the baby.
You could decide to breastfeed one feed at a time. Do the first feed and the after that decide if you'll do the next one. And so on for each feed. That way there isn't a guilt at not meeting a goal. Just deciding as you go. This time might work for you and your baby and if doesn't then you can stop.

tiktok Tue 22-Mar-16 09:18:56

It's horrible to feel conflicted.

Happily, you don't need to choose between your preference to breastfeed and taking meds.

Take a look at the breastfeeding network's info sheet on anti depressants ( it's google-able) and share with your doc and midwife and discuss what is right for you and your family.

Prozac is researched vis a vis breastfeeding. See what the sheet says.

If you call any of the BF helplines someone will help you make a decision, without any judgement or pressure.

tiktok Tue 22-Mar-16 09:21:09

Suzuki, it's not a good idea to catastrophise. Let the OP explore options without meeting comments like 'a disaster waiting to happen'. I am sure you meant to be helpful, but this sort of directive doom mongering does not help, sorry sad

mrsnec Tue 22-Mar-16 09:53:20

I stopped first time round for various issues.

I desperately wanted to try again this time. I hated the idea of not trying with both of them. Also I didn't want to think about it in my pregnancy so I decided to see what happened when ds was born.

Had exactly the same issues. Gave up sooner than with dd and I'm fine with it. I knew the signs.

I got help in hospital but thought it might be better at home when I was relaxed. My milk did come in properly then but emotionally I just couldn't do it so I didn't carry on. I think that decision saved my sanity. The good thing is you know your body and mind.

You don't have to decide now.

SmellySourdough Tue 22-Mar-16 09:56:18

don't worry.
try bf, it might work better this time. and if not there is a safe alternative (i.e. formula) that you can use.

MazzleDazzle Tue 22-Mar-16 10:03:49

Your mental health must come first.

Having a happy mum is what your baby needs first and foremost.

I certainly wouldn't change medication unnecessarily at such a vulnerable time.

If you can breastfeed whilst on medication (and more importantly you want to!), then give it a try. BUT if you think this will cause you extra stress, then formula feed.

You need to make sure you do what's best for you.

Junosmum Tue 22-Mar-16 11:42:19

I honestly believe that all babies are different- my DS came out having read the breastfeeding manual, there was nothing I did or didn't do. Who's to say my next would be so easy? So if you want to try, then do, your daughter may be completely different to feed. And if she isn't you give her formula, which is safe and nutritious. Don't beat yourself up about it and don't feel like you need to make the decision now. See how you feel when she arrives.

WellErrr Tue 22-Mar-16 11:46:33

Every day of breastfeeding is beneficial - particularly colostrum.
So why not start, but be prepared to stop if it all gets too much?

ailbhel Tue 22-Mar-16 11:52:32

You can also mix feed, rather than exclusively breast feed. There are lots of options, very few of them completely final if you change your mind later.

NickyEds Tue 22-Mar-16 13:38:01

I had a rubbish time bf ds as he was Tt, jaundiced and sleepy. The first month was absolutely awful and although he was mix fed for 6 months, when I becaome pregnant with dd I swore I wouldn't let bf be quite so all consuming. As it turned out dd was a great feeder and apart from some minor discomfort in the first week we had no problems at all. We introduced a bottle of f a day after a month or so because I knew I didn't want to ebf. She's just stopped bf this week (she's 8 months and has stopped having milk altogether during the day) and I'm a bit gutter it's over as it's been such a positive experience. I'm really glad I gave it a go despite my misgivings as it's been much easier for us than fully ff. How about doing as pp suggests and just try it and see how you get on? I set dp's paternity leave as a sort of time limit to get bf established.

BertieBotts Tue 22-Mar-16 13:44:59

If you feel relieved at the idea of FF, then FF and hang the guilt.

If you want to you could always give colostrum and plan to switch after that? They say colostrum has the most highly concentrated benefits.

If when milk comes in things are going well and you want to continue then you can reassess.

IndiansInTheLobby Tue 22-Mar-16 13:50:32

I love mumsnet! Thank you for all your comments. It has been really useful. I definitely need more information on mixed feeding etc. My boobs are so much bigger and more pregnant looking this time round! I've been shocked by how much they have grown compared to last time-like my body wants me to do it but my mind is dubious. Will stop putting pressure on myself.

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