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Weaned toddler and now feeling guilty, sad and very tired...

(7 Posts)
Daisypullsitoff Wed 17-Feb-16 15:13:32

First time posting so apologies if I get any shorthand wrong and that this is a bit long:

DS (first baby) is 22 months and I stopped bf 10 days ago. We were down to a bf before his nap unless out in car/buggy and one between 5-6am when he would come into our bed and 90% of the time go back to sleep for an hour or two. Had been thinking about weaning for a while as really want to start ttc again and period has not returned even with reduced feeds. DS dropped bedtime feed himself at Xmas and was also fine when I was away for 24 hours at NY so 10 days ago for various reasons it seemed like a good idea to take the plunge and I decided to just go cold turkey. So for a few days when he woke at 5.30 DH would take him in spare room and try (unsuccessfully) to settle him until I went in at 6am with a cup of cows milk (always dramatically refused as if it offends him to his very core) and the tablet to watch Peppa Pig 😳

Nearly two weeks on he is still waking most days at 5.30 (best so far was 6:20, was amazing!) and tapping my chest (his way of asking for milk as he doesn't really have a word for it). When I say "all gone little man, remember?" he makes a sad face and has a little wail although this is at least getting progressively shorter and less anguished. He is easily distracted once he's had time to come round and we go down for breakfast but I just find it so hard to keep disappointing him every morning and am wondering how long it will take for him to stop asking? I don't think I can go back now having come this far (plus pretty sure the milk has stopped) but I also feel bad because he seems like he's really not ready to be awake at 5:30 but can't get past that point without the feed to get him back to sleep. He does thankfully nap well in the buggy so is having 2-3 hour naps so not too worried about his overall level of tiredness.

Not sure what I want to know really - probably just someone to tell me they've had similar and come through the other side without mentally scarring DC or having to get up at 5.30 every day for the rest of their lives?!

SaveSomeSpendSome Wed 17-Feb-16 16:49:38

2-3 hour nap during the day is a very long time for a almost 2 years old.

My dd didnt nap at all during the day from around 16 months old. She went to bed at 7pm and woke at 8-8.30am the next morning.

The children i ve known who wake really early all had long sleeps during the day.

I ve no idea about breastfeeding as mine were bottle fed.

PenguinsAreAce Wed 17-Feb-16 16:56:00

Do you want to go back to breastfeeding? You know you easily could. The milk would return very rapidly with having established it for 22 months.

HeadDreamer Wed 17-Feb-16 17:00:35

You can adjust to waking at 5.30am in the morning grin

I get up and get a cup of milk in a sippy cup from the fridge for DD2. Not much help for you but they can be thirsty when they get up. You can try water too if you want?

spanky2 Wed 17-Feb-16 17:01:18

I bottle fed. He has dropped his other feeds so I would say it's okay to stop this one. Can he have a cuddle instead? Maybe it's the closeness of breast feeding he misses? I am probably going to get flamed for saying this, but here goes, nutritionally he doesn't need it. He's your son and feel confident with your choice.

HeadDreamer Wed 17-Feb-16 17:16:32

spanky2 I don't think you should get flamed.

I EBF my two, DD1 to 18mo and DD2 to 15mo. I don't think they need it nutrionally to continue to BF. But they might still be thirsty when waking up though! I always drink water when I get up. It just doesn't have to be from me.

DD2 is a light weight so I go and fetch milk for her. Otherwise, water would be fine. And also they might also be hungry. You can't tell from a very small child. They can't speak yet.

Daisypullsitoff Wed 17-Feb-16 20:25:36

Thanks for responses.

Penguins that's interesting that supply would come back, I wasn't sure, but I don't want to go back to feeding. I fed DS until now because we were both happy with it and there never seemed to be a particular reason to stop. But lately he seemed to be losing interest and the ttc issue has been on my mind to the extent that I felt I wanted to bring things to a close sooner rather than later.

He is happy with (and gets lots of) extra cuddles at other times of the day but in the morning he doesn't accept it. As mentioned I've tried cows milk and there is always water in his room which he sometimes takes. He will however always accept an oaty bar (!) so it does seem he is hungry, whether this is because he's used to having milk or not. I'd rather he took the cows milk though as it leads to less crumbs in the bed...

Headdreamer I do appreciate that 5.30 is the normal start of the day for many people and after 20 months of 2+ night feeds I should be in sleep nirvana going through to that time! It's more that DS doesn't actually seem to want to be awake at that time, he is really groany and grumpy for ages, when he used to wake up happy. I suppose I'm aware that he was getting an extra hour or two and feel bad that I used to help him get back to sleep and now I don't seem able to - this is also why (plus him being ill on and off since Xmas) I've been letting him have such long naps in the day but perhaps when he is better I can try shortening his nap to see if that helps. Out of interest when you weaned how long was it until you felt they had moved on/accepted the end of bfeeding?

I guess we probably both need to adjust to a new routine. Perhaps I just, naively, thought it would be a week at most and then he would stop asking to bf and we would all be back to snoozing happily in bed together until 7.30 again smile.

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