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dd and I are sitting here covered in breast milk cos I am shit at breastfeeding

(43 Posts)
mayaknew Tue 16-Feb-16 21:23:46

I just cannot get her to latch on sad she's been doing OK but my milk came in today and I just can't get her to feed now. She's 2 days old I'm so tempted to give her some formula I can hear her stomach rumble but she just cries when I try to get her to latchsad

NeedsAMousekatool Tue 16-Feb-16 21:25:26

You are not shit at breastfeeding! You have a brand new baby and are trying to learn a brand new skill. It is hard. Can you hand express a little to take the edge off her hunger then try again?

mayaknew Tue 16-Feb-16 21:30:59

I more or less hand expressed straight into her mouth earlier . The midwife will be out in the morning I'm going to ask for more help with it but I need to be able to to someone overnight .

MaisieDotes Tue 16-Feb-16 21:31:40

It's the worst thing ever isn't it.

Do some deep breathing. Tummy to tummy. Nose to nipple. The only thing that works for me is to squeeze my boob in such a way that my nipple is quite rigid, wait for a really wide open mouth and just insert boob. Give three or four seconds to let sucking start.

Good luck flowers

Noappointmentnecessary Tue 16-Feb-16 21:32:06

If you are at home, get in touch with your midwife now and get someone to come to your home and help
You position baby so you can breastfeed. You are not shit at it. I'm not an expert but make sure your baby lies in line with your breast. When you put babies mouth to your breast make sure babies mouth covers the whole areola. Keep trying, you will get there xx

slightlyglitterbrained Tue 16-Feb-16 21:32:06

DS screamed the house down when my milk came in. He kept trying to feed then pulling off and screaming. DP and I thought we'd broken him.

He was fine the next day, just didn't like the unexpected change in taste. Might be something similar with your little one.

Frazzled2207 Tue 16-Feb-16 21:32:39

Oh bless you. Breastfeeding is HARD. Suggest you give her some formula, tiny babies will lap it up from a cup like a cat, or a bottle, to settle her for now. Then express as much as you can, at least every 3 hours to keep your supply increasing.
You may well not be able to express much yet but important to keep boobs stimulated.
That should get you through the night, then get a midwife to come and help you with latch tomorrow.
Giving a bit of formula will not harm her in the slightest.

Noappointmentnecessary Tue 16-Feb-16 21:33:18

Also, I would cup my breast from the bottom (if that makes sense) and use a pillow for support x

cudbywestrangers Tue 16-Feb-16 21:36:08

The first few days are hard. Try and hang in there...

Maybe express a little to try and make it easier for small baby to latch if you are engorged?

There are lots of support services out there so maybe check out what's in your area. La leche league has been recommended to me but i haven't used it.

My little one (ds2) is 10 days old and things are much easier now than a week ago, the uncomfortable full feeling has gone, although he is still prone to fussing rather than getting on with a feed, particularly when a bit too hungry.

Once you both get the hang of feeding it will be dead easy! It's just a tricky skill to learn for both of you

NeedsAMousekatool Tue 16-Feb-16 21:36:47

Deep breath OP. If you've got some into her mouth she'll be fine, she only has a teeny tummy. Get comfortable. Support her head with the arm opposite the breast. Nipple to nose. If your breasts are very large or engorged use your other hand to make a 'sandwich' of breast tissue. More big deep breaths and congratulations on your new baby flowers

SnuffleGruntSnorter Tue 16-Feb-16 21:38:21

The first few days and weeks of breast feeding are really, really, really hard. The day my milk came in was by far the worst. I would have given up but I spoke to a friend who told me she had felt the same and it gave me just enough determination to scrape through.

Call your community midwife as someone posted above. Or try la Leche league. Or search on Facebook to see if there's a local breastfeeding peer support group.

If your breast is really over full your little one might find it hard to latch (imagine trying to bite the nozzle of a very full beach ball impaired to a less blown up one) can you hand express a little off so it's a bit less full?

Take some deep breaths (in for four, our for eight). Tummy to tummy, nipple to nose. Relax your shoulders - don't hunch/tense into it.

Wait for a big open mouth and shove it in! It gets way easier I promise. He beginning but is just really crap flowers

LaceyLee Tue 16-Feb-16 21:39:07

Good advice I had at this time was to basically sit there half naked with baby just in a nappy so you had skin to skin, this calms her and lets the milk flow. Use a pillow to support your arm and don't hold her head to the breast. There are good videos on YouTube to help with positioning. It's really hard at first but does get so much easier.

You could give a little bit of formula if you wanted (I did at very first because I panicked and still feeding now at 14 months) but definitely keep trying with the breastfeeding because it gets so much easier from here on in and is good for both of you - even though it may not seem like it now! And don't put too much pressure on yourself, you're not shit at it you just need some support!

CaptainMorgansMistress Tue 16-Feb-16 21:39:37

Have you tried any different positions? I found when my milk came in that DS could only get a good enough latch to feed if we used the rugby ball position.

It seems a bit odd at first as most images of breastfeeding Is of the traditional cradle hold but that's actually quite tricky for a new baby to do.

Also have you tried laying back a bit with baby on your chest? Have a look at 'biological nurturing' positions.

And also if you're finding it hard going, hop into a bath, express a bit of milk off (easiest just into the bath!) then get DH to hand baby to you so you can have a lovely snuggle in the warm water and possibly a feed if she fancies it.

And tons of skin to skin.

You're doing an amazing job, keep your chin up xx

Latenighttv Tue 16-Feb-16 21:43:36

I too really really struggled at first and know lots of people that did too but I think being a new Mum is v v hard and trying to learn a skill on top of sleep deprivation is torture but you do be OK, you should have an emergency midwife number to call if you are really stuck, they should not have sent you home without being sure you were properly OK (this happened to me too) . I got through the first few weeks using rugby ball hold, i find this much easier than cradling the baby, try looking got a video on you tube. It will be OK soon xxxxxxx

RedKites Tue 16-Feb-16 21:44:47

You sound like you could do with talking to someone tonight. Could you call one of the breastfeeding helplines ? The NCT one is open til midnight, and you don't need to be a member. Or call the postnatal ward - at two days old, they definitely still need to be supporting you, and you're right that if she's not feeding, you want support today, not tomorrow.

If hand expressing into her mouth is working, could you continue with that?

If she's struggling to latch on because you're very engorged then reverse pressure softening may help too.

MooPointCowsOpinion Tue 16-Feb-16 21:45:15

Ah the early days are so tough! She doesn't know how to breastfeed effectively yet and neither do you, it's a skill that takes practise. Loads of great advice above. You could check out some breast crawl videos on YouTube and see if that helps her latch get better, if she does the entire positioning herself.
Rugby ball hold might be good too. She can only handle a few mls at a time so don't worry about her going hungry. Just keep her skin to skin. Huge congratulations, I promise it gets easier.

Elledouble Tue 16-Feb-16 21:50:02

Try the "nipple flipple" - I used it for ages - there are videos on YouTube about it. It really helped me to get my son latched on better.

Agree with just trying to get some expressed milk down, cos if baby is less hungry and frustrated you might find it easier to get her latched.

Breastfeeding can be so, so, so hard at first. It's not your fault! You're not rubbish at it. You're brilliant. Good luck.

angryangryyoungwoman Tue 16-Feb-16 21:50:38

I found the same when I started, the only way I could get her to successfully latch was by us both lying down.
My daughter turned out to be tongue tied which, when cut, changed feeding completely. Is that a possibility? Has it been checked?
Hang on in there, keep persisting, breastfeeding is difficult the first time for some people, it was for me.

WhingyNinja Tue 16-Feb-16 21:55:46

I second the rugby hold position, the cross cradle isn't the best for when you're first starting out as the baby needs to be supporting their own head ideally! Good luck smile

BrienneofQarth Tue 16-Feb-16 21:57:37

You are not shit at it! You and your new dd are both very new to this and it takes time. I felt the same with ds, who was my second child - was determined during night 2 that he was getting formula, tried to feed again in the morning and he managed to latch on. He's only 3 weeks now but we're still going. Rugby ball position works for us.

Hang in there. There's absolutely no shame in formula feeding if that's what you choose to do, but if you decide to continue with breast feeding I promise it gets easier. flowers and chocolate for you.

mayaknew Tue 16-Feb-16 21:57:43

I've just given her some formula. I'm so disappointed but she devoured it and I have a content settled baby so that's the main thing.

I am definitely not giving up though that was some amazing advice I will look them up now and try them out at next feed.

Why is breastfeeding so hard sad she took that bottle no problem yet I can't get her to take my breast. I'll definitely do naked skin to skin next feed and if I can't get her to latch just hand express into her mouth again. She is trying and looking for it but just will not latch on. Then if she does its for 10-20 seconds and she's off again and we have to start all over again sad

Elledouble Tue 16-Feb-16 22:00:53

If she was ok with a bottle can you try nipple shields? It might be a good halfway house, while you both get the hang of it.

Frazzled2207 Tue 16-Feb-16 22:30:21

Ok good that she's settled for now. Hopefully you can both have some rest. Don't despair she will get the hang of it soon.

ChesterCake Tue 16-Feb-16 22:33:51

Please find your local LLL and phone them, they will come and sit with you and help you

gingercat02 Tue 16-Feb-16 22:40:16

In the first few days/weeks I fed lying on my side with ds snuggled in to my abdomen , it gives a bit of a head tilt and really helped us get going. Persevere but don't make you both miserable no one died from a bit lot of formula.

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