DS hysterical at stopping bf(8 Posts)
DS is 6.5 mo and I've just gone back to work in a demanding job with long hours. My mother will be doing most of my childcare and has moved in with DS and I for what I optimistically thought would be a couple of weeks while they learn the ropes of each other. DS has been bf but taking the occasional expressed bottle reasonably happily since 5 weeks. He's eating a wide variety of foods very well for over a month. He's also enjoying using a sippy cup. So I thought, let's first go to bottles/ sippy cup by day, mostly ff but as much exp'd bm as I can, feed more solids, and once we get that going well, switch the night feed too
or hope that he sleeps through.
Well, it's been five days now and he's not going too well. He's crying a hell of a lot, taking a little milk but making awfully heavy weather of it, and I feel bad as he's giving my endlessly patient mother quite a hard time. Twice today and once yesterday I've ended up bf'ing after very prolonged hysterics, which I felt was teaching a very bad lesson but I just felt so sorry for my mother and for him.
a) Keep on with Plan A, trying to get day feeds sorted first;
b) Stop all bf immediately?
I know it will all work out eventually but I just want to minimise the howling.
Can you express at work? Then maybe breastfeed on weekends and give bottles (expressed or formula) when you are at work. He may be more willing to take bottles when you are not there.
And you definitely are not teaching him a bad lesson by feeding and conforting him! It is a lot of readjustment for both of you...
Sure is. I think I'll do as you suggest. I don't think anyone's nerves can take the "cold turkey" approach.
Are you trying this with you there?
Thing is if your there and he can see you it'll be hard for him to accept be can't have his normal feeds. Either go out or just wait till you go back to work. Mine where both like this if I was there but once on solids I could actually leave them for a long time with just food and water as long as they didn't see me.
I'd get jumped on for a feed as soon as I got in though. Neither of mine took a bottle. If your DS is used to a bottle already he should get used to taking some milk. But you don't need to stop feeding totally. They do know that your the only one that can breastfeed them.
Just breastfeed when you are with him. He will soon adjust when he knows you are not there. Start going out during times when you know he would normally feed to sleep for a nap in the day and leave your DM to get on with it. If he has the slightest inkling you are nearby he will want you not the bottle. It is about comfort.
If that isnt successful you can also try feeding him a bottle yourself at those times as he may take it better from you at first. Then once the breast association is less strong let your DM take over the feeds.
With Dd1 I went back to work when she was 7 months old. She refused any bottle unless already asleep. DH had to take her for walks for her naps at first. DH fed her yoghurts and cheese in her meals throughout the day and she reverse-cycled and breastfed at night.
With ds he also refused at first, but was 10 months old. I do 12 hour shifts, days and nights. Eventually he took a bottle with a a Nuk latex teat. I have always just breastfed him around work.
I would try breastfeeding when your with baby (eg. evenings, mornings and weekends) and letting your mum work it out with him when your at work. He's might reverse-cycle and take the minimum expressed milk/formula when you are away but if he's eating well and drinking out of a sippy cup he can just catch up when you are back. It's probably the path of least resistance!
As a PP said, are you there when you're trying with a bottle? Both of mine have been fine taking bottles when I'm not there, and bfing when I am there.
Responding to your baby's distress is not teaching him a bad lesson
It's teaching him his needs are important and he is loved.
It's not what you would do to a toddler who screamed for chocolate. But he's not a toddler and it's not chocolate.
As pp have said, this is something you can manage gradually and gently - much easier that way
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