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Wanting babies to jump centiles

(77 Posts)
BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 16:45:12

I may well be alone in this but I am ebf my baby and most of the other new mums I've met are ff. It feels like they are competing to have the biggest baby and I feel like I am missing something. My baby is following his centile and thriving but he is long and lean. I know I shouldn't care but I just don't understand why they are all really proud when their babies jump centiles, and congratulate each other. Is this a common thing for mums to want their babies to pack on as much as possible? I feel happy when my son is following the curve as I know he is getting enough breast milk, but I don't get why you would celebrate a ff baby going above the curve. I'm just left scratching my head as to whether this is a 'thing' I'm not getting! They are lovely ladies, I just wondered if I am the unusual one, basically.

tiktok Fri 08-Jan-16 17:28:15

No, you're not unusual. Most mothers these days understand that it's fine for their babies not to gain loads of weight.

I think smile

duckfilledfattypuss Fri 08-Jan-16 18:00:23

Nothing to do with bf or ff, OP. DS1 was prem and on the 9th percentile for height and weight. I was v happy when he went up to the 25th for both - not entirely sure what's wrong with that?

MiaowTheCat Fri 08-Jan-16 18:08:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 18:29:14

Thanks for the comments. Duckfilled- sorry, I probably should have mentioned that these are all babies that were born full-term and on or above the 50th centile. I can understand if your baby was premature that it is a different situation. I guess what I'm saying is that babies come in all sizes and if they are say on the 50th centile then jump to the 90th, is that really seen as desirable? Do people try to feed their babies more to make them bigger or is it just coincidence that lots of ff babies I know are packing it on at a rate of knots? My baby is lighter but he is fed on demand and following his centile so I'm happy that he is the natural size for him. I feel like amongst the women I know I am in the minority as they all want their babies to be as big as possible regardless of their birth weight. That's the bit I don't really understand and just wondered if this is a common thing!

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 18:34:53

I should clarify that it's none of my business how people feed their children, I'm not saying ff or bf is better or that all ff mums are over-feeding their kids or anything like that! Just that the ff mums I know all have babies that have jumped centiles and they are delighted! So I wondered if they are actively trying to get them to be the biggest they can be and whether in general people prefer to have heavier babies? The fact they are ff may be a total coincidence.

Focusfocus Fri 08-Jan-16 19:17:59

A very relevant post for me.

My breastfed baby is following his 25th centile.

His formula fed cousins have all jumped from being born at a similar level or below to 90 plus. I've increasingly felt under pressure when visiting in laws

Till last week my SIL Whose 4 month old has gone from 0.4 centile to 98thh centile on formula told us point blank that or son is way too small and isn't getting enough.

My husband mentioned he's tracking his centile but she immediately punted or hers has "travelled all the way up the chart". And she's didn't ever see her daughter being "this small" this small being my 25th centile son.

It was building up to this - their little comments about BF my being enough but once she actually said this I fear it's broken me.

I'm beggining to actually think he looks tiny now. And I've got a PhD, evaluate and conduct research for my day job and lecture hundreds of students on doing evidence based research and work. References come out of my ears.

And yet.

Booboostwo Fri 08-Jan-16 19:38:45

My understanding is that birth weight is a function of the placenta and then the baby moves up or down to the level determined mostly by genetics. My DD was ebf born on the 50th percentile but shot to the 98th in the first three months. DS was similar went from the 50th to 75th. Both started to drop weight percentiles when they started walking a lot but both are at the top of the curves for height.

TheCatsMeow Fri 08-Jan-16 19:52:43

I prefer heavier babies just because I'm less afraid of hurting them. I feel more comfortable handling my 75th centile son than a smaller baby because they feel tiny.

Most ff ff on demand too so I don't think anyone is trying to make their baby bigger

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 19:56:47

Focusfocus - I'm glad I posted then! I have spoken to our health visitor and she said we are doing exactly the right thing and not to worry because his weight gain is on track. My son feeds a lot still and I have had people telling me that he needs formula because he feeds so often but again, the health visitors say everything is great! That's who I should listen to, obviously, but it is disheartening when you feel like the implication from most of society is that these bigger babies are doing better than your own and that therefore your breastmilk must be inadequate because ff babies seem to be bigger!

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 19:59:42

Sorry if "ff babies seem to be bigger" is inaccurate- it is only based on my limited experience; not looking to offend anyone.

TheCatsMeow Fri 08-Jan-16 20:02:05

I think ff babies seem bigger too and I ff. I don't think you're being offensive smile

museumum Fri 08-Jan-16 20:07:03

If I and my dh were very tall I'd probably expect / want my ds to move up the centiles. As it is we're 5'2" and 5'10" so I am more than happy my ds is and always has been between the 9th and 25th.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Fri 08-Jan-16 20:10:00

The views you are describing are very old fashioned. Few babies (full term and healthy) will shoot up through the centiles the way focus describes. That to me is more likely (though not, of course, inevitably ) to imply over feeding rather than something to boast about. Especially since encouraging babies to be fat may have long term health implications.

Babies do naturally move about the centiles lines a bit. But in a healthy baby that's a totally neutral thing - neither good nor bad.

Salene Fri 08-Jan-16 20:17:10

I've always been told a baby should follow its centile, it's important they don't drop or increase much
You want a nice curve as they grow

No jumping about , so if these babies are jumping up I'm sure the HV will be looking at reasons why it's happening

TheCatsMeow Fri 08-Jan-16 20:50:46

My HV never said anything negative about my baby jumping up centiles

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 21:00:47

It does seem old fashioned and they are also all weaning onto solids really early as well so I wonder if they are getting parenting advice from their older relatives. I suspect though that the big baby fixation and wanting to wean early is in some way competitive - I get the feeling that they equate putting on weight and early weaning with being more 'advanced' and think that it reflects well on them as parents if their children are ahead of what is expected. I guess at this age they can't really do much to be competitive about unless you pretend they are crawling, so the only way they can feel they are raising an above average baby is if they are above average size? I know I am really over-analysing. hmm

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 21:04:05

I'm talking about people who boast about their babies jumping centiles btw, not just people who have bigger babies or whose babies naturally jump.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Fri 08-Jan-16 21:04:36

I suspect there is a lot of truth in that.

In post war deprivation, Bonnie babies were fat ones too.

Gunting Fri 08-Jan-16 21:05:18

My DS was born on the 98th centile and now he's 2 months and off the chart. I always get congratulated on his size but to be honest I'm not really sure why!

People always ask about a babies weight after their name and I think that could be why parents put so much importance on it.

TheCatsMeow Fri 08-Jan-16 21:06:20

It could just be something to talk about. Like you said babies don't do that much at the moment so "he's gone up a centile! Would you believe?" Is probably better conversation than "I got pissed on 3 times and then vomit in my hair" wink

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Fri 08-Jan-16 21:06:28

My EBF baby jumped from the 75th to the 98th by week 6... All it did was make me worry I was over feeding her! Now 6 months, still EBF and still 98th so I guess she was just finding her curve.

Shantotto Fri 08-Jan-16 21:36:38

My DS is mix fed. I was utterly heartbroken when I had to give formula.

He has gone from 9th to 75th centile and rising - he is 24 weeks - I have spent a lot of time panicking he has too much formula and is getting too big.

When he was born his limbs were so skinny and skin was hanging off him. I'm 6ft and think he's probably just caught up.

So I don't agree that all FFers want huge babies! Everyone I know EBFs and they have big babies.

BeakyAndBun Fri 08-Jan-16 22:31:37

Shantotto- sorry to hear that. I certainly didn't think all ff'ers were deliberately bulking up their babies! Being a parent is so tough- I feel like no matter what you do you doubt yourself!

Vijac Fri 08-Jan-16 22:54:00

I think it probably to do with fat babies being seen as healthy, hearty and bonnie. Also, especially with boys, I think it is the idea that a bigger baby may end up as a taller adult, which is seen as an advantage. I have to say, my bf daughter kept getting colds and losing weight and I would have been happy for her centile to go up to 50th esp as she was a large nb. My son tracked 9th centile and as I'm 5.6 and husband is 6.2, I did worry about him being small also. I think I would have felt differently if they were bigger. My friend worries about over feeding her boys who are 75th plus.

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