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Nervous about BF'ing in public for the first time..

(21 Posts)
ccoleman90 Mon 04-Jan-16 19:47:14

Yep, as the title says, I'm really nervous about going out and having to breastfeed in public. I only have a 16 day old so we're still really getting to grips with it; sometimes she's perfect and latches on straight away, but sometimes she fusses a lot and is constantly coming off and on.

I don't want to be just wapping out my boobs for all to see, I've tried practicing with a muslin blanket but it means I can't see anything, and I need to use both hands to cup my boob and direct her head towards me. I had quite large breasts before pregnancy (34F-G) so I'd hate to think what they are now, and it just seems to make the whole process so much harder!

I'd like to be able to go out with my Mum on Wednesday but the thought of having to feed my daughter is really making me anxious.

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Mon 04-Jan-16 19:49:36

Have you got a top sorted - vest top and normal top. That will give you confidence.

Also, have a go feeding in front of a mirror. That will help you realise how little you can see.

Where are you going? If eg. A shopping centre some places have feeding rooms.

congratulations and good luck.

Annarose2014 Mon 04-Jan-16 19:56:29

Practise with a coat on and a cotton scarf. More realistic. If the scarf is flouncy it'll cover enough, and the coat will cover the rest.

Be clever about picking a table to sit at - facing away from the crowd is much less stressful first time out. Research BFing rooms in town - Boots and Mothercare have them but loads of shopping centres have them too.

And finally, be clever with your timings. If you time it well you can feed her in the car on arrival and then won't be taken unawares for the next feed and can be situated in a nice private cafe in good time before she kicks off. The ideal thing would be to feed her just before she realises she's hungry, if you know what I mean.

daluze Mon 04-Jan-16 20:14:07

Very good suggestions above. Cannot really think what to add, just reinforce that when you feed, there is very little seen. Even if she fusses.
Hope you enjoy being out and about!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Mon 04-Jan-16 20:19:40

Good tip there - feeding on demand doesn't have to mean it for literally every feed. It can mean 'I m somewhere good, want some? '. Also much easier to feed a non yelling baby as you are less self conscious.

Mumoftwoyoungkids Mon 04-Jan-16 20:23:16

Yep - correct clothing is half the battle. Either the "vest top underneath" (you can get some from mothercare that have the clicky strap things that you can undo making it much either) or get some really good breastfeeding tops. ("Boob" is a good make - it has a full panel rather than the weird but if string that you are left with when using the usual style.)

Part two of the battle is to go somewhere very very breastfeeding friendly. There is one pub in the city I live in that is very open about being pro-breastfeeding. They even have it mentioned by the NHS at their antenatal classes! The NCT breastfeeding group meets their too and they give them free coffee. (Whoever came up with it is a genius marketing wise - they are always packed out as it has become "the place to go with kids" - we still go regularly even though my two are now 5 and 2.5.)

See if you can contact your local breastfeeding group and ask for recommendations.

daisydalrymple Mon 04-Jan-16 20:26:20

I've loved my feeding tops from h&m and Jojo naman bebe, but equally good is to wear a thin vest under your top, so you pull the top up, but the vest corner stretches down with your bra. I too am +++cup and just picked seats strategically to minimise exposure during the bobbing on and off phase. (I think it was the squirting milk that bothered me more than the boob on show grin)

It's useful to have a look round facilities so you know where's good to go- eg Mothercare and m&s both have feeding rooms here in town, so until you are happy feeding discretely you could try there before going to a cafe.

FoxesSitOnBoxes Mon 04-Jan-16 20:34:59

We're boob twins! I find a thin stretchy vest top under a loose top is easier than messing with Muslins or covers

PaulDirac Mon 04-Jan-16 20:38:13

I was so nervous the first few times. It gets easier, it really does. I practised at home in front of a mirror and I used one of those mama scarves to begin with, though didn't use it for long. The very first time I breastfed in public I was with dp. If you can go with your partner or a friend that first time it might help with moral support.

Doublebubblebubble Mon 04-Jan-16 20:42:57

I normally put two vest tops over my nursing bra and peel the top vest back so my nipple comes through them both, if that makes sense. Honestly I have felt how you feel now but after bf my DD for 19 months it was easy for me to just wack them out. You will get more confident with time and tbh people dont normally even realise you are feeding at all xx also I agree with pp in maybe going with a friend/oh if you can - just for moral support x good luck op c

NickyEds Mon 04-Jan-16 21:45:00

Good advice from pp op. I've mix fed both of my babies and was so nervous about bf in public with ds that I simply never did it. He had a bottle when we were out and about. I very much regret that now! With dd I simply didn't care- I was so pleased that bf was actually working that I said "sod it- I don't care if every one sees and comments and points". I need not have worried! No one comments, no one points. No one cares and hardly anyone notices! I know exactly how you feel but try not to be too nervous. Before I had kids I'd only ever seen my sister bf, now I see women all over the place bf- it just wasn't on my radar before and I'd never noticed it. Good Luck.

Annarose2014 Mon 04-Jan-16 23:22:11

Oh and if you havent already, bulk buy Primark vests in big sizes for your "underlayer". They're unusually long so that no matter how awkwardly you're sitting they'll stay tucked in. And the straps are very elastic. Basically they're excellent for BFing shenanigans.

Annarose2014 Mon 04-Jan-16 23:25:00

They're also great for nighttime feeding when you're rocking a vest & zip up fleece combo in bed (aka the BFers uniform). grin

ccoleman90 Tue 05-Jan-16 17:24:03

Thank you for all the tips! I'm going out with my Mum who is extremely pro breastfeeding, so I'm sure she'll put me at ease. I do feed on demand but usually wait for the little signs of sticking her tongue out or starting to attempt to eat her hands, so I'll try offering it her when it's more convenient for me like when we stop off for a coffee. It'll only be a very small trip out so hopefully she'll only need one feed, I just need to bite the bullet, get it over with and discover it's not that bad and I've been making a fuss about nothing!

PaulDirac Tue 05-Jan-16 17:56:57

It'll be fine. Good luck!

AverageSnowflake01 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:25:45

I'm worried about this too. I'm taking my DD out on Friday, she'll be 9 days old. I have massive boobs, 32H and worried about people staring.

Funny thing is, I've NEVER seen a woman breastfeeding out. So they're all hiding in doors or doing it very discreetly.

ICantDecideOnAUsername Tue 05-Jan-16 20:44:09

I got a BFing cover which makes me feel more comfortable. I even use it in front of friends. They say they don't mind me not using it but I do. It is a cheaper version of the Bebe au lait cover, basically a square of material with a bit to hang over your neck and a wired but at the top do you can lol down. Ds is on-off-on etc and I would end up flashing far too much for my liking.

hazelnutlatte Tue 05-Jan-16 22:05:00

I remember the first time I went into town with my mum and newborn dd, my mum was really uncomfortable with the idea of me breastfeeding out and about so she kept asking cafe staff etc if there was a suitable place to breastfeed!
This was highly embarrassing and drew attention to me which I really didn't want and made me more nervous about it than I otherwise would have been.
It didn't take long to realise that no one pays any attention or cares, if you are self conscious then find a quiet cafe with comfy armchairs, then use a muslin or something to cover while you latch on - once latched no one will be able to see anything anyway.

Nottalotta Wed 06-Jan-16 08:29:46

DS won't feed with a muslin over him or me so its top up top down combo usually. H & m nursing vests are good for this with a clip off strap. I have small boobs so wear these with no bra. Or jojo maman bebe dress which is very discrete (the breton stripe one)

I have bf a lot in public now DS is 5mo and no one has ever cemented. Some young lads looked once in a cafe Nero but they were huffing over a squaky baby. They swiftly looked away when they saw me trying to get a boob out!

DS is at an age where he gets very distracted whwb out so i feed him in the car on arrival and he often won't want a feed when we are out.

A good idea is to meet friend somewhere quiet and relaxed and sit for a couple of hours chatting, having coffee or whatever, and feed as you like. Less stressful.

ccoleman90 Fri 08-Jan-16 17:32:02

Well, I did it and it was stressful, but at least I did it and I can move on now! It was our first big trip out and I suppose was ruined by being stuck in traffic for two hours, with a very unhappy two week old. I fed her on the backseat when we were in a standstill but by the time we got to where we were going she needed a bum change and another feed quickly, and was fussing a lot so kept pulling off and on and crying every thirty seconds sad Lots of nipple flashing whilst I tried to get her to latch on properly!

But still, I did it so I can live and learn from the first experience! It was at the trafford centre too at a busy restaurant so I suppose if I can do it there, I can do it anywhere now.

daisydalrymple Fri 08-Jan-16 20:15:55

Oh brilliant! Well done you smile

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