Breastfeeding is shit

[Sleepybunny]

If I hear another militant mum or lactivist spouting anymore crap about the supposed wonders of breastfeeding, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

So to counter the NCT hollier than thou, boob knitting, lentil weaving, baby wearing, baby-led organic carrot buying hippies, here is a list of all the reasons why breast feeding sucks monkey dick.

1. it hurts, screw the pillow fort I've just created, positioning is hard.
   
   
2. cracked bleedy nips? Wonderful, that's just the sort of refreshing shit, all hormonal postpartem women are after.
   
   
3. When the baby blues are at their peak, make sure your chosen feeding method, takes ages and can only be performed by you. No sharing those parental responsibilities now, buy your DP an Xbox in advance.
   
   
4. mastitis? Nah that's not even a thing. Your newborn will be an eczema-free nobel prize laureate. So whatever.
   
   
5. The best cure for PND is to have a screamy newborn cluster feed the fuck out of your nips while you cry into a pillow.
   
   
6. The Syrian refugee crisis can be solved by rubbing breast milk on it.
   
   Feel free to add your own pearls of wisdom. I'm 7 days in and feeling so good about my feeding choices that I regularly wake before my baby to do celebratory squat thrusts.

[Lweji]

Days 7 to 14 were probably the worst for me. High fevers, painful breasts, painful first stages of feeding.
It did turn out to be great after that. No pain and ready meals.

But, if it's not working for you, by all means, use formula. Your baby will be fine.

[Wobblystraddle]

What lweji said. It does get easier.

I thought I was a pro when dd2 came along but actually found it harder and more painful. Got through it and it was so convenient after the first, difficult phase.

And I had a lot of night wakings in the bank when I stopped...

[EvaBING]

Give him a bottle.

[hartmel]

As the previous posters says, I also found days 7-14 to be the worst..
What I did with both of my kids I bought a nipple shield and used it for the first 2 month. And it was amazing. As it gave my nipples a lot of relief and I never had bleeding nipples...
With my first born I only started using it I think when he was 1 week old. As my breast where hurting I was crying as DS had a hard time latching on. (No tongue tie)

You are not alone..

DS I only breastfeed for 3 month (I had surgery due to gallbladder stones and was in the hospital for a week on morphine. By the time I got home he only wanted the bottle)
Dd I did till 5 month

[Fairylea]

I agree with you. I persevered for 8 miserable weeks with my first child and when I had my second child I formula fed from birth. Wish I had done it earlier with my first.

[Thefitfatty]

The day my breast milk miraculously dried up at 6 weeks (wasn't producing much before that, certainly not enough for my son who was constantly on the boob trying to get whatever he could) was the day I started to actually enjoy my son and being a mom. Never bothered at all with DD. Best decision ever!

[SouthYarraYobbo]

I think l know which thread you are referring to and it's absolutely disgusting the replies the OP got.

I bf dd1 for 8 months. I'm bottle feeding dd2 and even including expressing I'm finding it so much easier and enjoying dd2 more than l did with dd1.

I've wondered over the last 10 weeks (dd2 was ebf for 2 weeks ) if we just have evolved to bf not being as easy for us as it is supposed to be? All the issues we have with sore nipples, cluster feeds with a busy family life and for some women supply issues. I do believe that bm is pretty fab, but perhaps the actual art of bf is changing?

Anyway everyone should be able to feed their dc however they want. I had great bf support with dd2 but her tt has meant it's not to be. I had no support with dd1 and it was a freaking nightmare for 12 weeks which l blindly persevered through and ended up doing it longer than l thought.

But l look back on dd1 and am proud to have cracked bf as I'm very stubborn but did l enjoy those early days with her? Not at all.

Compared to how much I'm enjoying dd2 and it makes me a bit sad.

[wannaBe]

I don't think that bf has involved but that we have evolved as humans to push through something which doesn't actually come naturally to everyone.

Before the invention of formula women were still unable to bf, but back then they either hired wet nurses or their milk dried up and their babies simply died. Inphant mortality was much, much higher back then.

But now there is far to much pressure for women to be martyrs to their babies and to put their entire lives on hold for as long as it takes. With counselling if necessary. And all for something which has very few proven benefits in the developed world. But women hold on to the WHO's guidelines which are predominantly based on the needs of babies in countries where there is no access to clean water and where infection rates are high.

[shoopshoopsong]

It is shit for the first few weeks but after that i found it far easier cos I'm too lazy to prepare and pack bottles when going out etc.

For now you're allowed to rant about it being shit though. Hope you're ok

[hazelnutjam]

Nope bf is not "shit", it can be absolutely amazing .

"Feel free to add your own pearls of wisdom."

There are no "pearls of wisdom" in your op. You sound quite angsty and hostile and seem to seek confirmation that you have made the right decision. Feed your baby whatever you like, its up to you, why should anyone else care?

Some women want to bf, some don't, whatever. For what it's worth, bf works brilliantly for a lot of mothers and babies once they have figured out how it all works. But again, who cares?

As long as you feed your baby with appropriate food and look after her well, you should not feel the need to justify yourself or bitch about how others feed their dc. If you feel happy about your feeding method, why do you sound so very bitter?

[FellOutOfBedTwice]

It is shit at the stage you're at. But I can say it definitely gets better. Still breastfeeding DD now at 17 months and it's been easy and convenient since about 8 weeks for us. If you can push through it, it will get easier but if you can't, that's fine too. Don't make yourself miserable.

[tiktok]

Is this a thread about a thread? Sorry if I am missing something!

OP, I am sorry your experiences are so bad and I'm sorry if you have read something written which has made you feel angry and upset. If you are a new mother, then your sensitivities are going to be turned up sky-high, and for this, you deserve to be cut some slack. Things which a stranger on the Internet writes are less easily shrugged off when you're suffering. I understand that :(

But your tone is absolutely vile.

You have used exaggerration in a way that is unfair and actally plain nasty. Just read your post back and wonder if you really are that person who thinks these things.

I don't know what on earth is wrong with boob knitting, baby wearing, organic carrot buying, being baby-led or indeed being a 'hippy'...holier than thou is not a great trait, I agree, and while I don't know what your experience has been with NCT, I don't recognise any justification for your judgmental attitude towards people who buy organic carrots....if you don't buy 'em, then that's ok! I don't buy 'em either!

If you have a question about how to make things easier, though, be my guest :)

But if you just want to be unkind towards people who think differently from you, under the guise of hyperbolic humour, then not so much :)

[BeautifulLiar]

I would find formula feeding quite hard tbh. I'm too lazy! But yy to the Xbox thing. Ugh.

[SouthYarraYobbo]

Tiktok there was a very vile poster on another thread about formula feeding. This thread, as l read it, is to discuss reasons not to bf. No need to sound sanctimonious with your 'if you have a question to make it easier' comment. I think it's pretty clear the OP doesn't need those sorts of answers.

And you've really proved her point with your post.

[M48294Y]

What a foolish post op. Why not pause for breath, have a word with yourself, and then ask HQ to remove the thread?

[ingeniousidiot]

Yep, it's bloody hard in the beginning, that's why so many give up. Do whatever you want - if you're happy to carry on then do so, if you want to stop then just stop - no need to give reasons for either.

[M48294Y]

It is also a taat.

[tiktok]

South, believe me, I was not being 'sanctimonious' - I would genuinely help with a question if the OP wanted to ask me one! Sometimes, when people are writing something in great anger and bitterness, they actually do have a question lurking underneath it all :)

You say - "And you've really proved her point with your post"

You mean you really think I was bitter, nasty and rude? Like she was?!

Honestly?!

I think not :)

[SparklyTinselTits]

I managed 3 weeks. Nipple cracked to the point where DD puked up my blood.
I gave her a bottle.
Sod the MW.
Sod the HV.
Sod the judgy NCT mums.
I was tired. My nipples were bleeding. My baby was hungry....
I let you know in 20 years if she's a cluster of allergies, eczema which she has already, asthma and autism, or has sprouted an extra arm out of her bottom because I poisoned her with formula

[Pessimoptimistic]

Bfing is tough to start with. There is no doubt. The first two/three weeks are miserable lonely and a sore place but it's like the fog lifts one day and it all becomes right. I am not a militant hairy armpitted lefty but breast feeding is so much easier than bottles sterilisers etc. If it's really too much don't do it but if you are willing to persevere it will all come right. No one will criticise you either way. I have a 7 week old and the first two weeks were tough as they were for my last baby but now it's just fine. I can feed where and when I want without worrying if I have bottles and formula. Like anything in life the start isn't easy but with a little will you can do it.

[Sleepybunny]

Apologies to have caused offense. The post was meant in jest and is not a thread about a thread.

It had been a long night and I had badly latched on too many times to count and needed to rant.

Sometimes feels like there is unrealistic expectations of new mothers and people (ie me) make themselves very upset over something so insignificant in the whole parenting picture.

It's not the hypothetical lentil weavers I'm mad at, I guess just a way to vent at the self imposed guilt for contemplating giving up bfing

[KondosSecretJunkRoom]

I do think there is a degree of bullshit propaganda around breastfeeding. I believe that this idea that if breastfeeding hurts to begin with that you MUST be doing something wrong, is incorrect. I think for some women, breastfeeding is painfull at the start despite a good latch and positioning.

I think this is a bit of an own goal tbh because it makes it more stressful if you think that it's all sunbeams and rainbows for everyone else while your toes are curling as your newborn feeds again for the millionth time that day.

While, I understand that there will definitely be pain with a poor latch or position or if the baby has a tongue tie etc, once that has been ruled out, I think it would be reassuring to know that for some women it takes a certain amount of powering on before it becomes easy.

[SouthYarraYobbo]

No tiktok, you are not nasty. I've seen your help on other threads and l hope you continue to offer it as you are very knowledgeable. But when it's asked for.

The OP is ff. And appears very happy with her choice. So asking if you can help her with bf is a bit strange. And proving her point of bf bring pushed on to you. Even if that wasn't your intention.

And I've said this on another thread, my experience of using bottles isn't a lot of faffing about. It has been easier than bf. Seriously.

[SouthYarraYobbo]

Bloody hell OP. I though this was an illegal TAAT.

Sorry tiktok.

[tiktok]

Sleepy, so you did read what you wrote over again, then?! :)

It would be horrible to really, really feel that people who buy organic carrots are judging you :)

Your original post was not funny, even if it was intended as a joke, but your apology is fine :)

Sometimes, it helps to re-frame 'guilt' as disappointment....'guilt' is what we feel when we do something wrong and we know it is wrong. Contemplating giving up breastfeeding is not something in that category. Don't 'blame' yourself - it's crackers to do that.

Are you after some answers to questions about breastfeeding? You can PM me if you prefer.