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feeding, sleep and routine. Help!

(19 Posts)
Lola2015 Mon 07-Dec-15 09:09:04

Hi all

I am really after some advice and reassurance. Feeling worn out at the moment and racked with guilt that I am always doing the wrong thing. I have an 11 week old son.

My question is, do you (or did you) have a routine in place when your baby was this age?
My guilt Is stemming from the fact that I am trying to establish a routine whereby my son has a feed at 7pm and then again at 10.30pm. Because I am trying to do this, it means I have to reduce/increase some of his feeds by an ounce to ensure he has a bottle at 7. Is it wrong of me to basically try and force my son into a schedule?

Last night he feel asleep after his bath at 6.15 so we put him to bed. He woke half an hour later so we fed him and resettled him back to bed but he continued to cry on and off then from 7.45-9pm. The he had the dream feed at 10.30 and from then on he was incredibly unsettled for the rest of the night, wriggling, squirming, squeaking and letting out the odd cry. He has his eyes closed the whole time though. He is on infant gaviscon for reflux.

Just so confused. Have read on here from other mums that they have a nice steady routine in place by this age and I this is really something that I want to achieve. Do you have a routine or do you just go with the flow?

WiIdfire Mon 07-Dec-15 09:14:25

20 weeks here and not even a wisp of a routine yet. No harm in trying it, some babies thrive on routine, some dont. Try it and see, if it works, great, if it doesn't, dont force it.

randomsabreuse Mon 07-Dec-15 09:24:23

Don't have a routine because life for us isn't routine - DH works unpredictable hours and always will do... so going with the flow works better - 17 weeks ish.

Freezingwinter Mon 07-Dec-15 09:25:13

My son is 10 months and we don't have a routine really grin

Touchacat Mon 07-Dec-15 09:49:32

We have a general bedtime routine. Bath every other night, sleeping bag, story, bottle, bed. She is bf at all other times and there is no routine on that- whenever she wants really. We started this quite early on but it didn't seem to make any difference in the early days. And although now she gets the message that it's bedtime, we still have trouble settling her sometimes. I think no matter what you do, babies are pretty unpredictable at times!

MargaretCabbage Mon 07-Dec-15 09:57:34

DS is 10 months and we only have just got a bedtime routine going in the last two months. He has always been so unpredictable that any routine was futile for us!

SouthYarraYobbo Mon 07-Dec-15 12:11:36

We have a night routine but that's it. Dd2 (11 weeks) is fed when she wants and sleeps during the day where/whenever she wants (currently asleep on me but took her morning nap in her bouncey chair)

However l insist on a night routine as we travel a lot locally and do long haul as well. With dd1 she always knew it was bed time because of the routine, even when in Aus with an 11 hour time difference.

Lola2015 Mon 07-Dec-15 14:54:39

Ah thanks for all your responses ladies. Southyarayobbo does your 11 week old sleep a decent amount of time in the night? Would you say there's a pattern to her daytime naps/feeds etc?!
For the ladies who don't have specific routine, does it make it difficult to go out and meet friends for example because you never know what your baby is going to do from one min to the next?!

LaurieLemons Mon 07-Dec-15 15:23:37

Honestly, you cannot force a baby into a routine. You sound like you're doing great! My 6 month old doesn't even have a bedtime! I think once they are sleeping through the night it may be realistic to set a 'bed time' and nap time etc. the first few months are the hardest, unless you have a 'good' baby who sleeps through the night, hardly cries. It's a bit all over the place but I don't let it stop me from doing things. I find a walk or a drive usually settles DS anyway so if I want to go out, we go!

DimpleHands Mon 07-Dec-15 15:45:17

I am going to start a routine when DD is one month old. I am going to use the routines in "Baby Secrets", which I used for DS and it worked really well. Didn't bother with the dream feed though - found it impossible to wake him up enough to feed. So just let him sleep at night until he woke up, which gradually stretched itself out until he was sleeping through the night (which he did at 8 weeks old!). I know I was lucky though so who knows how well it will work with DD!

DimpleHands Mon 07-Dec-15 15:46:35

By the way - didn't stick too rigidly too the routines, just used them as a guideline and gradually it all fell into place. Would certainly never let a baby cry if he wanted a feed earlier than the allotted time!

bittapitta Mon 07-Dec-15 15:48:36

11 weeks is still newborn and they have sleep regressions/growth spurts all the time at such a young age - do not drive yourself mad trying to impose a routine yet grin

bittapitta Mon 07-Dec-15 15:52:22

In response to your last question of your last update, I found it easier to get out and meet people precisely because we didn't have a strict routine. I found it frustrating to know people who couldn't meet at certain times or had to be at home at certain times because of naps/feeds. If you go with the flow baby can sleep on the journey, feed wherever/whenever, you are more flexible.

SouthYarraYobbo Mon 07-Dec-15 16:37:19

Lola dd2 sleeps 12 hours at night. She sometimes wakes for a feed sometimes not. I didn't bother with a dream feed for either of my dc.

No real pattern to her naps but her feeds are every 2-3 hours with maybe one 4 hour stretch. I'll only let her go 4 hours if she's asleep. If she's awake l offer no longer than 3.

I really fretted over dd1 naps and worked hard to get her to nap but I'm being less stressy with dd2 which seems to be working for her (and me!) at the moment.

They do change so quickly so try to go with the flow. Maybe he needs to nap at 6 and go to bed later, would that be possible?

randomsabreuse Tue 08-Dec-15 06:18:09

I agree with the getting out and about being easier without a routine as she doesn't get grouchy because she's out of routine. Have been out for the day - naps in sling, out for dinner etc.

Helps that the car and a decent sling walk are more or less sleep switches and she easily sleeps at night normally - 6-7 hours before bottom change urgently required!

My only rule is that naps cannot be a battle - if she looks/sounds tired but won't go to sleep she goes on the baby gym, we go for a walk, or to a group and most times she will drop off more or less at random. Sometimes she feeds to sleep on me but not consistently.

Generally we get a couple of bad nap days followed by sleeping all day!

Ughnotagain Tue 08-Dec-15 06:37:49

My 6mo doesn't really have a routine.

She generally naps in my arms if we're at home, or in the car or sling if out and about. I know that she needs a nap every 2-3 hours so try and fit with that. She's breastfed so just gets fed whenever.

As to sleep, she normally settles for the night by 9 (though last night was slightly later) and if we're lucky just wakes twice before morning (though sometimes it's more!).

confusedandemployed Tue 08-Dec-15 07:04:55

My DD had a routine from day 1 at night and even now, aged 2.9yo, she's ready for bed when it's time. We fed on demand for the first 3-4 weeks but I can honestly say that after that she established her own feeding routine and it went to 3-4 hours between feeds. She's always been a pretty good sleeper too.
Oh and for the record I never found getting out and about a problem. We'd just plan for her awake times at first and them after a few weeks a slight change to routine wouldn't bother her at all as a one-off.
I guess just like adults, some babies prefer routine and some don't. Thankfully my DD does like routine,like her mum...

Lola2015 Wed 09-Dec-15 09:56:52

Ah thankyou for your responses. Very true that every baby is different and think it's also very true that some babies thrive on routine and others don't.
It's very hard being a first time mum! You always worry that you're doing something wrong. I'm always worrying that if I'm not doing it right then I'm going to damage my sons development! Probably sounds crazy I kno but u just want to do what's best. I guess I'm in for a lifetime of worrying!

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 10:01:14

Dd got herself into a routine from about 14 weeks- based around 3 hourly feeds and naps every 1.5 hours- tgis was her doing though. Ds is 20 weeks and hasn't fallen into a pattern yet. He doesn't sleep as well at night which doesn't help.
Only think I've ever done is a bedtime routine of bath, bottle, story, into cot awake. This always results in a long stretch of sleep

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