Bf new baby with a toddler....(21 Posts)
I'm due in a few weeks and not sure how I'm going to make feeding work with my toddler around! I bf dc1 for a year, and ideally would bf my new baby for at least 4 months and see how it goes. Obviously if good, will continue.
How have others made this work? DC1 bf for 40mins at a time every 3hrs!!! Cluster feeding took forever and she barely slept. Just trying to mentally prepare myself. I gather it's possible, as many people seem to do it...! Don't have family nearby, and DH is out from 7:30-7:30 every weekday for work.
Thanks all - any tips much appreciated
I've just done/am doing this (DD1 is just 2 and DD2 is 4.5 months). Not gonna lie it's been hard work but generally fine. Toddler does get a bit jealous sometimes and will often shout 'no' when she sees me get my boob out as she knows i won't be able to play with her for a while. I make sure we have activities on hand such as paper and crayons/play doh etc. DD1 is good at playing by herself so that helps. if all else fails, resort to CBeebies! Does your toddler still nap? Mine has and hour and a half after lunch and the baby tended to do her cluster feeding then as I had time to sit down and concentrate on it.
Our biggest challenge at the moment is that DD2 is so distracted by DD1 that she barely feeds in the day and stocks up all night when there's nothing else going on!
Oh and DD2 barely sleeps either! I haven't been able to put her down for a nap since birth. The sling is my friend.
What age is your toddler? DS1 was 18.5mo when DTs were born.
Initially he would act out or immediately need a hug when he saw me tandem feeding but he's used to it now (they're 7mo) and he just sits beside me and drives various vehicles over me
I was lucky in the beginning because DTs slept A LOT during the day.
Bouncy chairs were my saviour - once DTs were fed they were popped in there so I could give DS1 some 1:1 time, even if it was only for 5 minutes.
Apart from that, we'd sing songs, he'd do things like colouring/play doh/jigsaws while I was feeding. I also used Peppa Pig more than I'd like to admit!
It wasn't easy in the beginning but now DTs feed only 3/4 times a day for less than 10 minutes.
The buggy/sling is very useful for naps - baby in buggy/sling and off you go for walk/to playground with toddler.
Good luck and congratulations
Oh and yy to the distractions! DTs love looking at each other and DS1, anything but concentrate on the task at hand
Rope in all the help you can for the first 4 weeks. It's manageable after that but he first weeks are intense.
Sling - not a bjorn - wrap sling so baby is cocooned and out of the way.
New toys - small to be doled out each day.
Puzzles are good - charity shops are your friend
Snacks that take a long time to eat - raisins, dried cranberries, frozen peas.
Have lots of pillows and cushions scattered about to prop the baby up with so you can be as hands free as possible.
TV, iPad are your friend. Try to master feeding in a sling.
Bedtime/ bath time hardest time of day as that coincides with baby's fussy period/ cluster feeding. But it won't hurt baby to grizzle for a bit while you bath toddler and you can bf while doing bedtime stories.
But yes, it's not easy! Do you have any childcare for toddler? Even a few mornings or afternoons of nursery each week will give you some much needed respite.
Dc3 aged 15 weeks has got very good at hanging on and still feeding while I jump up out of my chair to retrieve dc2 18 months aka captain disaster from whichever dangerous place he has climbed on, today he has been cleaning the bay window with his tongue
Yes mine hangs on to the nipple as I jump up to see to toddler too!
Agree with worlds. Ds2 is far too distracted to feed during the day now at 15wks - I spend a lot of time waggling my boob in his face!
I'm sitting here feeding DC3 (12 weeks) and I fed both DC1 & DC2 for about 18 months, so it is possible. I remember having the same worries when DC2 was due as DC1 had been permanently attached to me but it turned out that she was a totally different feeder. Still fed often but was done and dusted in 10 minutes. I agree with others though, we watched far far too much Cbeebies in the early days and had more frequent snacks!,
I've got a 23 month old ds and an 18 week old dd. Like Noodie I've just found dd much easier to feed. She has 10-15 minutes on the boob and she's done! I was quite pragmatic about bf and said that I'd give it until dp went back to work to crack it and if it wasn't working I'd ff but she turned out to be a bit of a natural-also don't under estimate the massive benefit you have of having done it before. Ds seems to find me feeding fascinating-he pokes my boob and strokes dd's head. It's quite nice actually.
Top tips are; sling (I've a Caboo and it's great) and cBeebies. Also, and I realise it's not for everyone, but we mix feed so dd has a bottle of f a day and it really helps.
Thanks so much all, that's so hopeful. We're already watching too much tv, so a bit more won't hurt! I've bought a Caboo so great to hear that helped. Dc1 is allergic to dairy so part of the reason I bf for a year was because it became impossible to get her onto dairy free formula. I think I'll just see how it goes, and make sure I have snacks and distractions to hand.
Dd isn't good at playing by herself but she does nap, so there is hope
Thanks so much again
For what it's worth op I found being heavily pregnant with a toddler much harder than having a new born with a toddler!
I totally agree! Toddler and newborn is easier than being heavily pregnant. I wish is known that, having mobility back is amazing!
Just wanted to ask, are you managing to BF with the caboo? I've just got s loan of one from a library but hint managed to feed him in it. I've a. 9wo and a 22 month old. Fun!!
I've occasionally managed to feed in the caboo but only out of desperation. Have just bought an ergo and think it'll be easier to manage but also easier when they are older too.
However when out I find that a splash and dash feed when out and about for as long as a snack for the toddler lasts works quite well and is often enough to get you home/to the next place. Which I didn't do so much first time but do a lot this time. Baby has to make do and sadly sometimes that means making up over night. But I have 2.8 yo twins so the sleep deprivation is no where near as bad
I can't feed in the Caboo. It's meant to be a bit of a selling point of it but I think my boobs are too big and I'd suffocate her! It's good for getting her to sleep- or at least it has been, I think she's perhaps growing out of it. The main reason we got it was because it was suitable for tiddlers and she was only 6lb 11oz when she was born and I'd say we've used it every days since. It's easy to push the buggy with it on!
I couldn't feed in the Caboo either. Also big boobed.
I'm tiny booked and can't feed in the caboo!
I've got an ergo from first baby, I must try it again now he's more robust at 9 weeks.
I just got a buggy board for my chameleon so no1 could "push" the buggy while riding on board but no such luck - if she's standing on it her head is in direct collusion of the push bar so that's no going to work.
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