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Time to give up BF? 4 weeks

(7 Posts)
babyconverse Wed 25-Nov-15 17:56:27

I feel like bf has come to the end of the road now and just want some guidance on whether just to throw in the towel, or if it's worth persevering.

Potted history - tongue tie, he was starving, introduced formula- been mixed feeding. In practice this has meant over an hour of breastfeeding, followed by a bottle followed by pumping. Getting him to latch is tortuous and he's not got the hang of it yet. He will feeds for well over an hour and is still hungry. He's still swallowing lots of air. The bf counsellor I saw earlier said just to take him off when his latch is shallow (so that's all the time then) but didn't really suggest how to fix the latch other than keep trying and lean backwards. I've tried that and it's not making some magic difference.

He's doing well on his mixed diet and has gained 850g from his birth weight at pretty near 4 weeks. Most must be from the formula.

I feel like just giving up and that formula is probably now the best thing for both of us but I really want to BF as I know it's the best thing for him.

Has anyone experience of turning a situation like this around? Is it possible to teach him to latch at this point?

Topsy34 Wed 25-Nov-15 18:56:52

Ok, big hugs to you first up, you've had a really crappy time.

I think, yes persevere, but you need more support. Have you been in touch with breastfeeding network or la leche league? There will better support out there for you.

You could look at sns feeding systems, which allow the baby to get topped up whilst latched on to the breast.

Fenugreek capsules and oats help with supply and your doctor can prescribe a medication to increase milk supply. Also try a different pump, i had a medela swing and it wasnt good, low output, i managed to get a lactaline double pump which was fab.

Keep going mama you are awesome

SouthYarraYobbo Wed 25-Nov-15 22:13:39

Can you drop the expressing and just bf and offer formula? That would cut down on some of the faff?

If you want to bf you are going to have to persevere. With dd1 it was a hard slog until about 12 weeks and then something clicked for her and l fed up until 8 months.

Dd2 had tt and once it was snipped would not consistently bf so l started expressing to protect my supply and I'm still going. It's a faff and will move to formula soon. You need to decide what it is you want and can be happy with.

I was disappointed in the beginning bf wasn't working with dd2 but I've accepted it now and I'm happy to go with what suits her.

Please don't waste time feeling guilty if you want to stop bf. But if you don't want to stop just try to bf as much as you can, and try to seek specialist help re tt and bf.

I paid a private lactation consultant who was really good and she said there are ways to bf around tt.

mrswishywashy Thu 26-Nov-15 23:27:04

No advice but in the same situation

On advice from lactation consultant for next 48 hours. Every three hours I'm going to BF for 40 mins, express 15 mins and then offer top up. All we'll and goodbye u to baby hasn't slept since I woke her at 9pm so no idea how to do expressing with crying baby. I going back to clinic on Tuesday but it's looking more and more likely bfing is going. I'm gutted.

She has posterior tongue tie but the won't treat it as they say it might not make a difference. I'm not sure whether to do it privately or not.

Touchacat Fri 27-Nov-15 18:18:03

I didnt/don't really have any major breastfeeding problems and I still found it hard in the early days so big hugs to you ladies. You're doing really well.
Just wanted to say what pp said about it getting easier - it does. If you can still manage to bf to some extent through the tough times then you might find it clicking into place in a few weeks time.
If not, don't worry. Happy mum is the most important thing to your baby.

MaidrinRua Fri 27-Nov-15 20:48:01

I had pretty much the same issues, except my LO never fed at the breast. I pumped and mix fed until 8 weeks. I found the pumping schedule torturous while he was so little and needy- he would settle anywhere but my arms/in sling so it was almost impossible to find time to pump. Cue massive engorgement almost every day and a very stressed, crying mama til DH got home from work every day!
Now he's 13 weeks, can amuse himself at his baby gym and taking more predictable daytime naps, I've been attempting to relactate for 5 days, pumping to get my supply up. His tongue tie has stretched itself out too so I'm looking forward to eventually getting him onto the breast, for the first time!

Just do what is right for you and your family. All the best!

SpanielPlusToddler Fri 27-Nov-15 21:04:49

Not everyone recommends them, but have you tried nipple shields? My DS couldn't latch (undiagnosed lip and tongue tie, it turned out in the end) so I breast fed him for 5 months with nipple shields, which he seemed to be much more able to latch on to. Eventually at 5 months he could finally latch and I fed him without them until 1 year. Very varied Internet and 'expert' advice regarding shields, but they saved breast feeding for me. And at least you might be able to stop expressing. Good luck.

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