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10 month old stopped feeding to sleep

(21 Posts)
YouMaySayImADreamer Sat 21-Nov-15 21:39:03

My ds is 10.5 mo and probably for about a month he is resisting being bf to sleep at night. I try for an hour to get him to sleep and sometimes he will eventually drop off but for that hour he will literally swap sides every 10-15 seconds and it is a battle. Sometimes he will seem to be starting to settle but will suddenly perk up, start chatting and trying to crawl off. It is very frustrating.

The last couple of nights my DP has eventually rocked him to sleep.

I am starting to think maybe my supply is low?

GenevaMaybe Sat 21-Nov-15 21:41:08

You just need to stop feeding to sleep! Feed, burp, into bed...

YouMaySayImADreamer Sat 21-Nov-15 21:48:42

? I'm confused...why do I need to stop? I want to feed him to sleep and he cries as soon as I put him down and wants to feed...

Writerwannabe83 Sat 21-Nov-15 22:49:45

Why do you want to feed him to sleep? Why don't you want him just falling asleep on his own?

MangosteenSoda Sat 21-Nov-15 23:03:20

He's telling you that feeding to sleep doesn't work for him any more. The switching is likely him getting frustrated at not being able to fall asleep and trying the other side to see if it works any better.

Think carefully about replacing one sleep crutch with another (rocking). I know it's much nicer to have your baby fall asleep before you leave the room for the evening, but (unless you're very lucky) there won't be a magical day where he just starts to sleep easily and not cry when you leave.

He's crying because he has always fallen asleep with someone and it feels difficult and wrong to do otherwise. Unfortunately, this is a skill that everybody has to master sometime. Can you look into some gentle methods to help him do this?

YouMaySayImADreamer Sun 22-Nov-15 07:50:46

Hi wannabe i want him to feed to sleep because it is lovely for him and also for me. It feels very natural and easy. I dont mind it taking a while but the swapping sides is frustrating. He isn't even staying on each side long enough for let down most of the time. If he manages to, he usually does fall asleep.

That's why I was wondering about my supply maybe being low? Or maybe he is over tired and doesn't want to have to work for it? He will feed to sleep for naps most of the time so I think it can work for him.

I don't see it as a sleep crutch and don't see why I need to rush self settling. I don't feel he is ready for me to make him sleep on his own. My first little boy didn't do thiss until he was 2 and I was glad I didn't force him before he was ready

MinesAPintOfTea Sun 22-Nov-15 07:59:57

DS stopped reliably feeding to sleep at that age (although the last time he did he was 3yo). Post feed cuddle and into bed. You can stay until he gets used to the idea.

GenevaMaybe Sun 22-Nov-15 12:47:40

You want him to feed to sleep for YOU. That is selfish. Help him to fall asleep on his own which is much healthier for his sleeping habits in the long run

YouMaySayImADreamer Sun 22-Nov-15 14:00:23

Thanks Minesapintoftea its really uaeful to have some personal experience

geneva that is just out of order. Only on MN could you ve called selfish for bf your baby to sleep - especially when A. I've said that I spend an hour doing it despite the frustration of him swapping on and off and B. If you read my responses I said that I want to do it because it's lovely for him too...pretty sure i'm right about that since he's enjoyed (and continues at naptime to enjoy it) for the past 10 months. Ridiculous response.

museumum Sun 22-Nov-15 14:07:04

My ds stopped feeding to sleep at 10mo. We changed to a stories routine then and it was still nice. It's just a different phase in your bf journey IMO.
Why not try feeding earlier then stories and cuddles and see if that works better.

CottonSock Sun 22-Nov-15 14:10:13

I'm afraid they do seem to grow out of it. I replaced it with singing a song and cuddle as she gradually weaned herself off bf.

LeaLeander Sun 22-Nov-15 14:10:43

Op you are being selfish. Just because something "feels" lovely for YOU doesn't mean it's best for the child's mental and physical health. As another commentor said, he is telling you the current method is not working for him any longer. Respect HIS needs, and set aside your own.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 22-Nov-15 14:17:38

Mine grew out of it at about that age too. She'd have a feed but still be wide awake. So I started just putting her in her cot, reading to her and she would doze off. I saw it as a good thing to be honest, she chose to stop feeding to sleep and we found another way that worked for us. With the added benefit that her dad could start putting her to bed.
He doesn't want to feed to sleep? Try something else.

GenevaMaybe Sun 22-Nov-15 14:18:23

Exactly LeaLander

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 22-Nov-15 14:18:45

Just because it worked for your first child until the age of 2 doesn't mean it will work for your second.

Cel982 Sun 22-Nov-15 14:27:42

Some strange responses here, OP hmm As if you can force a baby to take the breast when they don't want it... I think maybe some people have misunderstood your post as the baby resisting the breast, rather than resisting falling asleep.
My bf baby started that same boob-hopping around that age, and sometimes I ended up walking her around the room til she dropped off. However, more often than not she would eventually drop off if I just let her keep switching sides until she got sleepy. She's just turned two and we're still happily feeding to sleep - it takes s lot longer than it did at six months old, but we get there eventually.
Ten months is a tricky time, sleepwise - I found things improved a lot after her first birthday. I really doubt it's a supply issue at this stage.

YouMaySayImADreamer Sun 22-Nov-15 17:05:33

I find some of these responses unnecessarily harsh and judgemental, especially when I thought I was posting a simple breastfeeding issue/query. I'm actually quite upset - selfish is a very strong word, especially to be directed at a parenting issue and I think you should think carefully before throwing it around so easily. I was going to write more to defend myself but cel982 I think you might be right that my OP has been misunderstood and might be badly worded so I apologise for not wording more carefully.

DS is not resisting being bf altogether, that was the wrong choice of word I think. He very much wants to be on the breast. He roots and tries to get there and if DP takes him he screams inconsolably for me. However the behaviour he is displaying is reminiscent of growth spurt behaviour - fussing and pulling on and off, but can't seem to stay on long enough to stimulate let down or maybe it's not coming out quick enough.

It is only at bedtime though which is how I know it isn't just a growth spurt. During the night he will only be fed back to sleep and actually spends most of the night in our bed latched on (this is something I very much go with for his comfort rather than my own feelings). That's why I was worried it might be a supply issue. I have also gone back to work fairly recently which compounds my worries about supply. Or perhaps my other thought was that he is over tired as I tend to put my toddler to bed first.

Worldsbiggest sorry I think you have misunderstood - I didn't bf my older ds until he was 2, he gradually lost interest so we stopped bf when he was 14 months. What I meant was that I didn't just leave him to fall asleep as he didn't like it either until he was about 2.

Thanks so much for your really helpful post cel982 that is really really helpful to hear. I will perservere with the bopping then for a while maybe with a bit of walking round inbetween. Also really good to hear you are still going at 2 years. I wanted to let DS self wean but have heard it is rare this early on so I was concerned that I have some supply or other issues that I could correct but which otherwise might end our journey before he wanted it to. Thanks also museumum and cottonsock I will keep this ideas in mind to try, will see how we go.

GenevaMaybe Sun 22-Nov-15 17:21:59

Apologies for using the word selfish. I agree it is a strong word and I am sorry if I hurt your feelings.
I think you've had good advice on this thread so il leave it there. Wishing good sleep all round brew

museumum Sun 22-Nov-15 17:24:15

Fir some reason I expected bedtime bf to be one of the longest lasting but it wasn't. Ds stopped feeding to sleep at 10mo but still had a night feed and breakfast feed and some others. For us breakfast was last to go.

YouMaySayImADreamer Sun 22-Nov-15 18:12:27

Thanks Geneva appreciate that and no problem.

I think you've hit the nail on the head with what i'm worrying about museumum ...it is typically the bedtime and morning feeds that you hear are last to go, so I hadn't considered that this might be him not wanting it. Although i'm still not convinced he is trying to drop it as he does really root for it and get very upset when I take him off or at least comes back looking for more quite quickly.

Tigresswoods Sun 22-Nov-15 18:21:15

I agree with all Geneva has said.

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