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I know this too shall pass, but...

(18 Posts)
BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 05:46:35

DC3, 5 weeks, is up every 90 mins or so for a feed. Ebf, and I know it's when milk is best and most abundant...but I have two other DCs and I'm exhausted.

I know she can do up to 4hrs between feeds, and has done a couple of days in a row now. This eve she cluster fed from 730-1030, when o went to bed, slept until 130, then up again at 230, 330 and 530. I won't sleep again now and will be up until she stops cluster feeding at 930ish again. I'm getting 4-5 hrs a night at the mo in short bursts

I know it's normal. I know it's natural. I know it will pass. But I'm on my knees.

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 12-Nov-15 06:02:32

A few weeks ago I was in exactly the same position as you; I posted several times on here for different reasons. The cluster feeding was slowly killing me....turns out DS had Tongue tie and silent reflux, so the cluster feeding was more like comfort feeding and was making his reflux worse. 3 days ago we introduced reflux formula at 10pm and he's slept 11-5 both nights. I'm not saying the same would apply to your baby, but it might be worth looking into other reasons why she won't go more than 2 hours at night. My DS is still breastfed during the day and reflux is still causing him bother, but I feel som much better armed with a decent sleep. Speak to your HV or doctor - it will pass, yes, but it could be an underlying cause. This is also my 3rd DC and I really thought nothing could surprise me this time around, but this has really thrown me as I'd ever heard of reflux until 3 days ago! Good luck xx

BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 06:02:30

She does the 4ht thing during the day, obvs

BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 06:10:45

Thanks. Deffo no tongue tie (Dc2 had it, and as a consequence was a dreadful feeder). She's not showing any signs of reflux - a bit windy but nothing out of the ordinary, I think. It's just a phase, right...

To cap it off, 'D'H has just made a snide comment about me being on my phone all'll burn my eyes; interferes with sleep patterns; what's so interesting anyway; blah blah blah. I've just stabbed him with a pair of eyebrow tweezers, so that'll learn him that's a lie but I bloody bloody bloody feel like doing it the bastard bastard bastard

We don't have parents. The older child is at school and the Middle is a terrible two, and although with a CM for a good time during the week is hard work. I feel a bit like I want someone to be interested in how I am. Put their arm around my shoulder and comfort me. I miss my mum, basically. And I'm so fucking bastard tired. I'm actually doing ok - we're all fed and clean; I haven't totally lost my rag with anyone and am generally feeling lucky with my lot. But fuck me. I need more than 90mins sleep in a burst.

LlamaLover Thu 12-Nov-15 06:12:28

Hugs and understanding. I have been there and it's horrible. Please be kind to yourself. Delegate or drop anything that is not essential and take care of yourself too. When you are out the other side it seems such a short amount of time but it's so hard to get perspective when you're in the middle of it.

spillyobeans Thu 12-Nov-15 06:14:12

Mines 4 month now, but the first 6-8weeks was one constant cluster feed. Between 6pm and 6am it was every 2 hours, the only thing that kept me going was netflix on my phone (mainly so i didbt fall asleep and drop baby!) Proped up in my bed with loads of pillows and a nightstand with huge jug of water and some snacks. Ive only got the one so i really dont know how you would cope with more but hang in there!

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 12-Nov-15 06:14:43

Is the cluster feeding a recent change (ie, do you suspect she's having a growth spurt?) or has she always done it? The lactation consultant told me that whilst it's normal to cluster feed, it is usually a fairly short lived thing at this age (my DS was 4-5 weeks) which is why we looked into other causes. I feel your pain OP, it's exhausting! Do you have family support so you can catch up on some sleep during the day?

LlamaLover Thu 12-Nov-15 06:15:41

Have you told DH how you feel? Any way for him to step up more on other non boob related tasks? He absolutely should be supporting and caring for you, but I know it doesn't always work like that sadly.

It's normal to feel how you are feeling so whilst it's good to count your blessings, it's also ok to feel/say you need a little focus on you.

spillyobeans Thu 12-Nov-15 06:16:39

Also had my mum come to stay for first 2 weeks with me (dh was getting a bit fed up by week 2 lol) but she did all the cooking while dh cleaned which was a godsend so all i had to do was sleep and feed baby. Is it possible to get someone over, even for an hour or 2 regularly just so you can sleep or bath etc when baby isnt feeding?

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 12-Nov-15 06:18:51

Sorry x-post. I'm sad to hear about your mum, this is when you likely miss her the most. It really will pass OP, it sounds like you're doing a brilliant Job and doing the best for your baby. Hang in there!

spillyobeans Thu 12-Nov-15 06:19:42

And yes i agree with focus on you, the first few weeks are so hard especially with people wanting to see baby etc, by week 4 i felt like shouting at everyone to leave us alone untill id recovered, i think it wasnt till week 10 or 12 i started to feel a little bit more me again and not just a feeding machine! Dh has a loveley nickname for me- mrs wiseman :s

Lemonfizzypop Thu 12-Nov-15 06:23:03

I've been up all night with my 6 day old, had approx 2 hours sleep, my nipples are in agony and I feel like crying. I just fed her at 5.30 and put her down and she's stirring again and I don't think I can bear to offer her any more I'm in such agony. sad

So I don't have any advice at ALL I'm sorry but sympathies.

BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 06:29:25

DH is generally being amazing. But obvs were both a bit snippy with 3 and not enough sleep.

I'm better at just letting stuff go at the moment (had to do an emergency school uniform wash and tumble dry on Monday morning because I made an active decision that sleep was more important than washing over the weekend...!) so I'm really doing pretty well at just going with the flow. BUT between the various house bits that do need doing, the odd visitor, CM hours and the older two I'm finding it really hard to sleep during the day. DH has been getting up with older DCs at the weekend mornings so I've been able to sleep more then. But it's all a bit tortuous at the moment.

I do know that it changes so quickly. And yes, I do think she's having a growth spurt. She's a whopper! Skinny frogs legs are changing into meaty thighs!

BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 06:31:14

Oh Lemon - you poor thing. 6 days is nothing is it? Bet you're still feeling knackered and sore from birth too? I hope there's plenty of cake to hand - the best part of the first couple of weeks, I think

TheEagle Thu 12-Nov-15 06:40:00

flowers for you busycee, the 6 week growth spurt is a doozy. It nearly finished me off with DTs.

You know from experience that this will pass and things will get easier- not that having small children is ever easy but it's easier to manage when you're not so tired.

Today is another day and if you can rest while your older DCs are out then DO IT!

I just take each few days as they come (I've a 2.1yo and 7mo DTs). We still have some bloody awful nights but they always end!

Good luck smile

LlamaLover Thu 12-Nov-15 08:07:33

i totally get that things need doing and people need picking up/dropping off and there doesn't ever seem time to sleep. What I found though was if I found a spare 10-20 mins rather than think 'gah - no time to sleep as I have to go pick up DS in a bit' and squeeze in another job. It's better to 'just go rest' on the sofa/bed with an alarm set for when you need to get up to leave by. Then at least your body can rest a little and your mind can rest knowing there is nowhere to be until the alarm goes off. Even 10 mins like this can really help I found.

TheEagle Thu 12-Nov-15 08:46:30

Amen to that llama - when I was really struggling in the early days/nights with the twins another twin mum said to me "just lie down whenever you can, you may not be asleep but at least you're horizontal" grin

BusyCee Thu 12-Nov-15 09:52:07

Have walked back up the hill from the childminder with a mocha. DS1 is at school. DS2 is with the CM. I'm grabbing 30mins before I head off for the day...

Thanks all

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