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Harder to breastfeed a 3rd DC?

(32 Posts)
Lightbulbon Mon 10-Aug-15 12:19:43

Dc3's arrival is imminent and the prospect of bf seems so much harder this time!

I've been reading around eg

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S027795361400495X
And

www.hscic.gov.uk/catalogue/PUB08694/ifs-uk-2010-chap2-inc-prev-dur.pdf

Is does seem to be a statistical trend that later babies are less likely to be bf than first borns.

I found bf easy first time. I became quite evangelical about it and carried on til 2yo.

But this time, with 2 older ones in school with multiple after school activities etc I just don't see how I can do the 'stay in bed with baby attached to boob' on demand feeding.

I know that in theory I can bf anywhere but in practice I can't do it when I'm actually driving! (Between the school run & activities can be 2 hours a day.)

Is this a typical feeling/experience with a 3rd DC?

IAmAPaleontologist Mon 10-Aug-15 12:33:26

i found number 3 had to be a bit more shoved into a feeding routine, i had to make sure i prodded him in time to feed before the school run, he'd nap on the school run, feed after and and so on. of course he still spent plenty of time on the best too and mostly fed on demand, just had to be prodded a bit too fit in with the day.

HappyAsASandboy Mon 10-Aug-15 13:10:00

My DC3 is 8 months old and breastfed.

As a previous poster said, you can still feed on demand, but also prompt baby to feed before the school run etc. in my experience, the baby sleeps in the car anyway, unless he's truely starving, so feeds seem to stretch to wait until you get to wherever you're going.

It does help that my Dc3 is a fast feeder. If you have a very slow feeder then it will be harder, but I would just set out with the expectation that you'll fit it all in somehow smile

Will you have help at home and with school runs etc for the first few weeks? Paternity leave maybe? That will really help get things started smile

Lightbulbon Mon 10-Aug-15 17:14:38

That's what's so frustrating about the bf in particular, DP will be at home. It would be so much easier if he could give the baby a bottle while I'm out driving the school run etc. (he can't drive)
My last DC wouldn't sleep in the car/buggy at all- only at home so maybe that's shaping what I'm feeling.

Plus how do you do the bedtime routine if you & baby aren't in til past 8pm?

LongDayAlready Mon 10-Aug-15 17:24:51

I managed it with Dc3 although DD1 was preschool when he was born and he was 5 months when she started school (and DD2 started preschool) so more in a routine. We did still have preschool run but obviously less time sensitive. My experience was that we'd do a feed 6.30ish and then he'd have to hang on until after drop off, though I'd sometimes give a quick top up before leaving if I found a spare 10 mins. Generally he slept as soon as we got in the car (he was rather nocturnal) so it really wasn't an issue. The real downside I found was getting a routine established as DD1 was only at preschool 4 mornings so we were permanently to-ing and fro-ing so he got far too used to sleeping on the go which made him hard to settle in evenings - no issue with bf, he spent half the night attached to me!

Not sure how it's going to work with DC4 in Sep with school and preschool to do but sure we'll cope. Or quite possibly, am in denial.

Good luck!

LongDayAlready Mon 10-Aug-15 17:27:41

Oh and re bedtime, it wasn't an issue for us last time but will be this. Am planning on following the example of others I know who prioritise the older ones, as they can't make up the time in the day, and let baby fit round and go a bit later. Trial and error, I think!

IAmAPaleontologist Mon 10-Aug-15 20:28:04

re bedtime i do think that created issues unfortunately. ds2 got carried around and fed and stuff while i sorted ds1 and dd so while he was plonked in the bath with them and nominally was given a bedtime routine in reality i had the others to sort out and i couldn't ignore them while i spent ages settling the baby. so what we ended up with was a baby and then a toddler who went round putting his big siblings to bed and then thought "great I've got mummy and daddy to myself, playtime! " all settled down eventually though smile .

PacificDogwood Mon 10-Aug-15 20:29:36

I only truly 'cracked' BFing with DS3 grin - I am a slow learner it would seem.

For bedtimes on my own, a sling was fabulous.

IAmAPaleontologist Mon 10-Aug-15 20:44:14

sling is essential.

PacificDogwood Mon 10-Aug-15 21:11:34

Lightbulb, I just took the time to read your OP properly and the linked research - my DS1 and DS2 were 4 and 5 when DS3 arrived (I then had DS4 2 years after that).

Bear in mind that what research and statistics cannot tell you is how you (and NewBaby) will get on as an individual - you sound like you are an experienced BFing mother and no doubt you'll find a way to work around it.

Sling, sling and sling - I am NOT somebody who took naturally to the principles of Attachement Parenting grin, but even I managed to feed with baby in the sling while doing Other Stuff. Disclaimer: not driving!
I too did bedtime with Big Boys first, then toddler, then baby.

Rope in as much help in as you can for the first few weeks to get BFing established. Call in favours, get other parents to help with ferrying older kids around etc.

Step away from the research (which is very interesting in an academic sort of way) and find a way that suits you - no doubt you will!

HelenaJustina Mon 10-Aug-15 21:18:06

If you've fed two you can feed number 3! Honestly, it will just fit in...

I used to plan a bit more, so know baby would be due a feed so drive and arrive at pick up for older DC early and feed in the car in the car park.

Congrats on baby number 3. I've fed all four of mine, you'll be fine...

ProbablyMe Mon 10-Aug-15 21:28:24

Mine DC3 was harder because he wanted to be watching what everyone was doing rather that staring at a boob! He lost weight between 11 and 16 weeks as he was feeding so briefly - just enough to take the edge off his hunger but only really the fore milk. Eventually I did reluctantly start bottles as he could drink from them and be nosey at the same time. He started gaining weight well then.

Lightbulbon Mon 10-Aug-15 22:25:41

Thanks for the replies.

I guess I'm just going to have to see how it goes.

I felt really guilty at not bf dc2 as long as dc1 and want to avoid beating myself up about that again.

Dc1 & 2 are much older so they are past the 'bedtime routine' (just need to breath test that they've brushed their teeth!) but they are out at activities til 8.30 on school nights. We live quite remotely so no one else to drive them.

It's such a change from the 7pm bedtime the others had as babies!

I suppose I've also got used to the freedom of older DCs - everywhere I go now I think 'I couldn't bf here'. I'm used to other people DP/parents etc doing stuff with the DCs and not having one so physically dependent on me.

Right now bf feels like it'll be a prison sentence!

PacificDogwood Mon 10-Aug-15 22:31:34

Ah, don't over think it just now, and don't beat yourself up whatever you end up doing.

Fwiw, I've bottle fed, mix fed and EBF - and all my DCs seem to be equally healthy.

I think we tend to be much better at beating ourselves up at perceived failings than celebrating our achievements. As a rule I think most people do what they can and try to do the best for DC under whatever circumstances they find themselves in.

Jen1610 Mon 10-Aug-15 22:36:38

I had absolutely no problem bf my third. I only had one day we had to stay in bed demand feeding when my supply dipped due to medication. So I stayed in bed for 24 hours. Top off and demand feeding whilst eating foods to up my supply.

Caprinihahahaha Mon 10-Aug-15 22:40:22

Do what you like and tbh beating yourself up about the length of time you breastfeed for does seem like a colossal waste of time.
I had two DS at school when I had DD . I found feeding her easiest of all and she was breastfed by far the longest.
I'd just see how it goes

Caprinihahahaha Mon 10-Aug-15 22:42:00

Where is it you think 'I couldn't feed here?' because I fed pretty much everywhere except while driving.

MrsPigling Mon 10-Aug-15 22:45:24

My #3 fed the longest out of the 4 dc (13 months / 8 months / 26 months / 22 months). It wasn't so much feeding on demand as feeding whenever there was a gap in the schedule of school runs / activities. It worked, but if it doesn't for you, then don't beat yourself up. See how it goes, it might work out more easily than you think.

Jen1610 Mon 10-Aug-15 22:47:07

You can breastfeed anywhere. baby in a sling and no one will even know..Or a huge paahmina so don't worry about that.

Could your dh start driving lesson?.so that when your third dc is a bit older and does need to be in bed before half eight..He could take them.

I also wouldn't mount unwarranted pressure on yourself to try breastfeeding till two because you did with your first. Any breastfeeding is great. I know how hard it is not to as Iv don't it myself with my first she was preterm and would latch but didn't have the muscle strength to suck so after losing weight I expressed and only managed 12 weeks as was exhausting as I'd do it on demand whenever she had a bottle id pump after that too so in the night I was shattered and was like a zombie. So felt guilty when I stopped.

Neither of my other two were interested in breastfeeding after six and eight months.They both self weaned as soon as they were on the move. Your baby may do that. Regardless of when you stop you will of done a great job. Don't stress about it just go with the flow.

Jen1610 Mon 10-Aug-15 22:48:45

Sorry missed loads of punctuation in that last post. Time for sleep I think.

Etak15 Mon 10-Aug-15 22:53:05

I've done it with all four of mine - with 2 yr age gaps, and routines similar to pp's. I think the latest edition just can be bundeled along with you what ever your doing and breastfeeding is so convenient as you can do it anywhere with no prior planning needed! Also as your dc's are older you've got helpers on hand - and can help you round the house a bit - maybe stick frozen food in oven etc when your stuck on a long feed! You'll be fine, would be good if you could have someone to do the school run etc for first couple of weeks though till your feeling back to normal again?

Sapat Tue 11-Aug-15 00:13:17

Nonsense. I BF all three, my last is 14 months and I am still BF twice a day and will probably stop around 18 months like I did with DC2.

I think to some extent it depends on the gap. I still feel annoyed when I remember the guffaws of laughter from a good friend when I said I wanted to BF my second. She didn't her second (we met at BF meet ups with our first) as she had 2 under twos. But mine were more spread out with a gap of 2.5 years and 4 years. It is true it is not always easy. But I think that if you want to, you can. My sister had hers in quick succession and she BF them all.

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim Tue 11-Aug-15 07:53:28

Haven't read your links. I'm breastfeeding my 3rd, others are 7 and 3 (nearly 4), I really recommend learning to breastfeed to a sling. I have a stretchy wrap & dc3 who is 5w is almost constantly in there feeding... But I would feed anywhere tbh. Not driving though...

My 3rd was the easiest to breast feed - my milk came in sooner (48 hours after birth) and I didn't really have to think about it. He was also the only one not to have a tongue tie, which helped!

My older 2 were 5 and 3 when DC3 was born, and I had a section. I didn't stay in bed and just feed with any of the 3 (maybe I should have with no 1 but I wanted to get out and about as she was the last if our lovely antenatal class babies to be born and everyone was meeting up for picnics and in pub gardens... smile )

Logistically DC2 was hardest as DC1 was only just 2 so still wanting picking up and to be on my lap, potty training etc. My 5 and 3 year olds understood the baby needed feeding and they sometimes had to wait, plus they could go to the toilet alone and get themselves a dtink/ piece of fruit...

If your older 2 are at full day school I'd have thought it'd be easier than having a toddler surely? You'll have 5+ hours a day just you and baby even if before and after school are a bit rushed.

I would hate to have been tied to bottles with DC3 precisely because we were often out and about and you don't have to be as organised breast feeding!

The only problem I did have was DC3 fed a lot at night - could just be him, but sometimes I thought he was claiming nights as our 1:1 time! The sleep deprivation is harder with a school schedule as well as a baby - but some bottle fed babies don't sleep either and DC3 still didn't sleep when I weaned him at 13 months

Good luck! I don't get why breast feeding should be harder than with DC2 though sleep might be

Baffledmumtoday Tue 11-Aug-15 08:34:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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