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How do I get through it?

(35 Posts)
WorldsBiggestGrotbag Fri 10-Jul-15 21:50:03

DD2 was born yesterday am. Since birth, she has fed almost constantly (I know this is normal. I BF DD1 until nearly a year). However due to a long labour I have slept 4 hours out of the last 72. We got home from hospital yesterday evening, went to bed and she was latched on from 10pm- 4am without a break. If she unlatched she screamed the house down. Did the same again today from 11am- 3pm. Has now been latched since 7pm with no sign of let up. I can't get through another night (third in a row) with no sleep. I just can't. What can I do?

chumbler Sat 11-Jul-15 07:14:08

poor you. you could try co sleeping, or a few times I fed lying on my back to sleep, dh kept watch of DD. otherwise can someone take her for just a couple of hours? even if she cries for them - you need a break!

this will pass smile keep at it x

NickyEds Sat 11-Jul-15 18:26:07

How are you getting on now op? Did your dd let you get some sleep?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sat 11-Jul-15 19:10:51

I slept a total of 45 mins, and have spent the day in tears. Feel like such a failure already. I've got someone from la Leche league calling this evening, fingers crossed they have some tips. Baby has currently been latched for 3 hours 10 mins sad. Thank you for your replies

NickyEds Sat 11-Jul-15 20:12:13

It's good that you're getting some bf help. If you need to you could try a dummy, or some expressed milk or f. You mustn't feel like a failure-It really does sound as if you need a break. Has she been checked for tt? I know everyone always talks about how normal it is but it does sound as though your dd is feeding an extraordinary amount and something has to give. You can't survive on 45 minutes sleep a night let alone recover from labour.

Greenstone Sat 11-Jul-15 20:14:32

Hope you get some good advice. If you swaddled dd nice and snug and gave her to your husband would that work at all?

At night I used to get a massive pile of pillows, good sturdy ones behind me and two by each arm. If I leaned back and propped my elbows on the pillows slightly that felt safe enough to close my eyes with baby on boob or chest.

Consider a sleepyhead pillow.

Congrats, I so hope you get some rest soon, it was like this with dd2 and I really feel for you flowers

Greenstone Sat 11-Jul-15 20:16:17

Agree with tongue tie check or a bottle to get her really tanked and give you a break. Doesn't mean the end of breast feeding at all.

BookSnark Sat 11-Jul-15 20:17:31

If you need to express - try expressing at the same time as she feeds (latch her in rugby ball hold). I find that my let down is faster that way. Remember their tummies are small - so even an ounce might be enough to stall her & give you a break.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie Sat 11-Jul-15 20:18:07

Could you sleep with her on your chest, while dp is awake and alert watching you both? That way you get to sleep and your baby can be close to you. Also look into "laid back" breastfeeding, or "biological nursing position". It was a lifesaver for me in the early days.

My final bit of advice is for your dp to take the baby out for a walk for an hour so you can get some sleep.

Nearly 8 months in bf dd and I now consider a 20 minute nap to be a good use of my time. hmm

Mummify Sat 11-Jul-15 20:19:42

Hope the LLL were able to advise well. Has your milk come in yet? The constant suckling may well calm down when it does. Very best wishes to you and your wonderful newborn.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sat 11-Jul-15 20:35:54

LLL were lovely but couldn't really say a huge amount apart from 'it will pass'. I don't think my milk is in and am really hoping it will make a big difference when it comes in. DH is fab but he's shattered too (we have a 20 month old with a broken leg too) and I don't think I'd trust that he'd stay awake/alert enough at the moment. I just can't stop crying at the moment, I'm worried there's something wrong or that generally I'm just failing her (and my older daughter who is so upset that I'm glued to the sofa feeding and can't play with her)

NickyEds Sat 11-Jul-15 20:41:31

You're not failing her. Did LLL watch you feed her and check the latch? I'm really sorry op it sounds grim- I remember you from other threads as we were due at the same time (I'm still waiting). I know no one ever seems to say this on these threads but if I were you I'd try a bottle and see if it "buys" you some rest.

Greenstone Sat 11-Jul-15 20:49:51

I'm going to say it sounds like your milk is on way in. Mine took bloody 5 days both times and it was awful, and both times I was incredibly fraught and weepy just before it arrived. How are dd's nappies?

BookSnark Sat 11-Jul-15 20:51:03

Now is the time to call in all of those speculative 'let me know if there's anything I can do to help' offers you might have had....

I'd trowel on the treats for the 20month old (visits to favourite aunties, TV, junk food etc) to help park the guilt

Greenstone Sat 11-Jul-15 20:51:47

Yes I posted on here on day 3 frantic that a bottle of formula (was getting nothing but exhausted from expressing) would ruin everything!
It really didn't, but it did help an awful lot. I'm still breast feeding at 8 months .

chillichoclove Sat 11-Jul-15 21:15:08

My little girl is day 10 and did the same as yours, I had no sleep for first 4 nights then milk came in and although she still cluster feeds it has calmed down greatly and we are getting two three hour stints at night. It's v hard on my nearly two year old and I can't get over the guilt. I just wanted to let you know that it did get better. And I'm not sure that a bottle of formula would have made any difference to my supply/ the outcome so worth a try! I didn't have a tricky labour so coping with lack of sleep was easier. Hope tonight is better

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sat 11-Jul-15 22:18:45

I just spoke to LLL on the phone Nicky. I think her latch is ok but not 100% sure! I hope your baby comes soon.
I've tried a dummy but she won't take it. She'll suck everything else in sight but not a dummy!
I have a bottle sterilised ready in case it gets too much tonight. I'm stupidly worried that it won't make a difference and that will make me feel worse as then I'll have no options. Ridiculous I know.
Thanks everyone for your replies, it really helps to know I'm not alone!

AnythingNotEverything Sat 11-Jul-15 22:24:59

My 2 week old was like this on nights 3 and 4. I was so sore I gave her a dummy. I had to hold it in her mouth. DH took turns sitting up doing the same as I could cope with the constant feeding on very sore nipples.

We've used it in the night a few times since but not every night (she seems suckier than my other babies). The pain lessened each day and from about day 8 I've only got pain at latching now. My supply seems fine.

Congratulations on your newborn. You know this isn't permanent but it's still super tough. Best of luck.

avocadotoast Sat 11-Jul-15 22:34:34

Ok, first off, you're not a failure. Lack of sleep is horrible, it really is. It probably doesn't feel helpful in the slightest right now to know that it will pass.

Are you able to feed lying down? It is hard but if you can get her to latch on while you're on your side you can at least doze while she feeds. Or like pp have said maybe let her sleep on your chest while someone keeps an eye on you both.

Are you able to get hold of a sling at all? Could DH put her in a sling so she's still getting close body contact - it might calm her enough to let you get a little sleep maybe?

If you do end up giving a formula bottle it really is not the end of the world. For all baby's needs are incredibly important, yours are too. It will hopefully get easier when your milk properly comes in flowers

I struggled so hard with breastfeeding when DD was first born but she's 7 weeks now and I think we're doing ok. We still have wobbles but on the whole it's much easier than when she was first born!

Didiusfalco Sat 11-Jul-15 22:47:46

My Ds was like that for a few nights, I had no clue what to do, just awful with the sleep deprivation and the hormones. The things that helped were perservering with the dummy, because if she doesnt have tt or any other obvious problem she is using you as a dummy. Even if you hold her close and keep the dummy pinned in her mouth it might help before you get really sore. formula, honestly its worth a try, at least you can then rule out the idea she is still hungry, and it may actually get you some sleep. It doesnt mean an end to breast feeding, I fed Ds for 11 months but he did have some formula to save me being completely exhausted. Also as a temporary measure sleep in shifts - each take her away from the bedroom for an hour or so while the other sleeps. Hopefully the constant feeding is just to bring your milk in and will calm down when this happens. Sympathy to you though, its so hard, Ds was never a great sleeper until the age of about 2 but the incessant feeding did pass.

Mummify Sun 12-Jul-15 08:17:18

OP - how is it going? Have the milk gates opened yet?! Hope you got some sleep last night.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 12-Jul-15 08:21:11

We had a slightly better night thank you, she still fed most of the night but we've mastered feeding lying down so I managed to doze. And she's sleeping on DH for the first time this morning so I've spent an hour or so playing with older DD which has made me feel a lot better! No signs of milk yet but hopefully won't be long.

Missdee2014 Sun 12-Jul-15 08:35:23

Is she feeding all that time or is she just sucking for comfort? The reason I ask is my dd2 had a habit of this until I introduced a dummy and she started to spit me out and look for the dummy when she was finished feeding.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 12-Jul-15 09:43:37

Just sucking I think MissDee. I've tried 3 brands of dummy and she just spits them out and gags sad. Will keep trying!

chumbler Sun 12-Jul-15 10:29:26

I personally wouldn't use a dummy until your milk is well and truly established because your baby is stimulating your milk supply.

if you can get through the first month or so of cluster feeding you could skip dummy altogether

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