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How can I stop my 14 mo breastfeeding to sleep every night? please help

(10 Posts)
Vi0letsAreBlue Sat 06-Jun-15 09:11:05

my 14 mo baby breastfeeds to sleep every night, I want to try stop this and just put him in his cot to sleep, maybe with a nursery rhyme or something similar?

But every time I take him off before he's asleep, he just screams and cries until he's back on. I want to try a gentle approach. I've tried to get him to settle with his dad but that doesn't seem to work either.

also he wakes about 3x overnight on a good night, 5x on a bad night. and again will only settle with breastfeeding...

the thing is it's been 14 months now and I'm exhausted, but also I'd love to get my evenings back. I've not gone out in the evening for over a year.

most importantly I don't want to wean him yet , I want him to wean himself. I'm hoping for a transition to only breastfeeding a couple of times. during the day.

any advice greatly appreciated thanks thanks

Vi0letsAreBlue Sat 06-Jun-15 12:54:51


ispyfispi Sun 07-Jun-15 20:18:15

Not much help but in my experience trying to stop was far more exhausting than just continuing! My dcs did this and eventually grew out of it although I'd never have believed it at the time!

Lovepancakes Sun 07-Jun-15 20:24:07

Same as ispy I'm afraid but looking back Im still glad that both our DC never cried at bedtime and years on we still have lovely bedtimes and time together and such closeness. It almost exhausted me at times but I did what felt right and like you gave up a lot.

The only useful thing I can say is that you're at the hardest stage and it's soon gone but it probably doesn't help as you need relief now!

Lovelydiscusfish Sun 07-Jun-15 20:27:27

I'm not much help, because the way it happened for us was really strange. Dh just sort of said one night, enough is enough, I'm going to just try taking her up to her cot without a feed. I was too tired to argue (otherwise I would just have said, come on, like that's going to work!) But it did. She self soothed perfectly, and from that day on we've very rarely had a problem (unless she's ill or something) with her settling to sleep on her own!
Only bad news is, she was a fair bit older than yours (think she was at least one and a half, if not older). And she did completely self wean not all that long after, which I was a bit sad about at the time, but hey ho, nothing lasts forever!

Nolim Sun 07-Jun-15 20:31:51

Mine was similar, would only sleep on the breast. I had to used contolled crying.

Artandco Sun 07-Jun-15 20:31:57

Never feed baby in bedroom. So evening feed do downstairs, completely unrelated to bedtime. Then do bedtime routine with either you or dh as no feeding involved.

When she wakes in the night simply no feeding. At 14 months you know she is ok without feeds. Offer water incase of thirst, but otherwise stick to soothing without milk, and just stroking/ patting/ laying down/ sitting next to her whilst she falls asleep. The first few nights she won't be happy but just continue sitting with her and soothing. Yes she might cry, but no she hasn't been left to cry it out alone as you are right next to her giving comfort

hwill72 Mon 08-Jun-15 07:44:34

Im trying to figure this out with my 4 month old and its a complete nightmare. Evenings 1-3 over the weekend proved the worst in a longtime. Husband gave bottle which went ok but then she was obviously waiting for me to come in and do breast to get her off to sleep, cue hysterics which won't be can't sootheuntil i cave. Desperate for help. This and her night time feed are the only ones she has breast for because of this 'nursing to sleep issue' but im keen to quit because I have health problems and need to get back on medication. Can't do cry it out :-(

Vi0letsAreBlue Tue 09-Jun-15 20:35:38

ok thank you all for your posts thanks thanks

I'm not sure which direction I will take but I'll be sitting DH down and having a talk about all the options you've come up with and we will see what happens

SameThing Tue 09-Jun-15 20:47:23

Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution was the only thing that came close to working for us. Oh, and time.

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