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I'm so tired.

(8 Posts)
Rootvegetables Tue 10-Feb-15 20:08:13

I have 6.5 month old twins, we have just started weaning otherwise they have been fully breastfed. They are putting on weight, meeting milestones and sunny happy babies. However they do not sleep well at all, both usually wake 5-6 times a night, often more. I'm surviving on no sleep and am wondering if anyone has any ideas! One can sometimes be settled with a cuddle but it always feels very temporary and I feel like I'm just delaying the feed rather than they are actually asleep.
We don't really have a routine other than up and dressed by 8.30 most mornings to take the 3 year old to pre school. They are usually asleep in pj's by 8.30pm (7.15 for older ds) mostly downstairs in chairs as they usually feed before I go upto bed and I'd spend all evening upstairs ototherwise. Is this just what babies do!!

ReluctantCamper Tue 10-Feb-15 21:19:12

Ok. I am in the process of solving this exact same problem, but you may not like my answer. I have gone onto a Gina Ford routine for my DS. This is

Wake up at 7, breakfast and bf
Nap 9-10.
BF around 11
Lunch 11:30
Nap 12-2
Bf 2pm
tea 4:30
Bf and a 10 minute doze on the boob 4:45. Yours may not need this as they're a bit older than mine
Bath 6pm
Bottle 6:30
Bed by 7
I express at 9pm ish.
Wake up for dream feed at 11
He then normally goes through until 5:30, I bring him into my bed (lazy mummy!) for a bf, and he sleeps again until DS1 wakes us all up around 7.

Making sure they get enough milk/food/sleep in the day is really key, and some sort of routine helps you to do this, but probably isn't essential. I also know nothing about twins, but am guessing everything is about 4 times as hard!

Now for the horrible bit, I had to do one day of controlled crying to get him to take the naps. It was horrible, but he was so tired he was crying in my arms anyway, and I was on my knees. Weirdly, the more awake he seems when I put him down, the better he gets himself off.

Best of luck, sleep deprivation is the pits.

Rootvegetables Wed 11-Feb-15 07:54:49

Thank you for replying, I do feel maybe some kind of routine is the key but it just seems so daunting to begin one with two of them, who are totally different and taking into account the 3 year old needs as well. They are often desperately tired at around 2 and need to sleep maybe for an hour or so, maybe this is a bit late.

Toetallynamechanged Wed 11-Feb-15 08:01:40

flowers it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. My ds (12 months) still naps at 2pm and goes down fine at 7.30pm so as long as they have a busy awake spell they should be sleepy by bedtime. My life was hell with no sleep until I bit the bullet and did sleep training. Gradual retreat, was three weeks to be effective but it was the biggest positive step that I have made as a parent.

I really feel for you. This too shall pass mantra.

ReluctantCamper Wed 11-Feb-15 10:41:37

My DS1 is 4, so at preschool some of the time, but I really get that you feel you've got to balance their needs.

On the day I decided to enforce naps, I made DS1 a packed lunch, and sat him down in front of the TV, and told him he was basically on his own for a couple of hours. It's totally been worth it in the long run for him, because now we get a couple of hours together alone in the day, but he has had to suffer a bit if benign neglect to get there.

Could you start at the weekend so your DH can help? It's about a million times easier with another adult in the house (but only if they're backing you up, so he needs to be cool with whatever you're doing).

To quote slimming world, nothing changes unless something changes, so decide what you're going to try and go for it.

By the way, meant to say last night, serious kudos for ebf twins!

ReluctantCamper Wed 11-Feb-15 10:45:37

Also, I'd definitely say 2pm is too late if it's their first sleep. I know GF is not everyone's cup of tea, but her routines have worked for both of my very different babies.

They were no good for me when establishing breast feeding, but once I started weaning and the babies became more alert and weren't dozing during feeds, that's when I really had to start structuring their day time sleep.

timeforsleepnow Wed 11-Feb-15 11:21:06

Root - it must be so tough with twins. I think you have done amazingly well to ebf them until weaning.
Routine isn't necessarily the answer, although it could well help logistically with your day.
We got a sleep consultant at 7.5 months and after 5 days of sleep training we have seen dramatic improvements, I have no idea if it will continue but last night DD slept 8-8! And this was the baby who would wake up every 20 minutes!
It sounds like the twins are getting to the stage when they can do without feeds overnight. A sleep consultant could be just what you need, Google Andrea Grace.

Rootvegetables Wed 11-Feb-15 22:11:54

Thanks for all your replies, my goodness 8-8 must be amazing, will look her up she sounds like a magician! They are both really chilled out flexible babies, if they're fed they are happy, So I feel like if I decide what to do they will adapt well but I just need to do the right thing. They don't much like the cot but I tend not to be able to get them in the same place to sleep. This morning for example one had a huge feed and slept in the cot, by the time I put the other one down they cried for what was probably only going to be a few seconds but I swept them out of the room so as not to wake the other. Another 20 minutes feeding, they went to sleep then the other one woke up then we had to do the school run anyway! At night they are not chilled at all and get immediately furious if not fed. Funny things! Breastfeeding was hard at first but I do wonder if they might sleep with formula, but I'm now at the easy stage where nothings sore and I don't have to take a million bottles out with me but it does mean I can't just say right I'm exhausted you stay up to anyone else!

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