Baby is breastfed and won't drink while I'm at work(19 Posts)
My lb is 7.5 months old and I have now returned to full time work. We have tried many, many times to introduce a bottle/cup but he is having none of it, I am now back to work and my worst fears are being realised and he is not drinking very much during the day at all. We have tried a doidy and he's not keen on that either, the most success is with a nuby sippy cup. He is feeding extra in the night now to make up for it which is rather exhausting!
Basically this is what he has during the day:
2.30am - Nurse
4.30am - Nurse
6.30am - Nurse
7.30am - Nurse
8am - to granny & grandad
9.30am - Breakfast - 2oz breast milk mixed with porridge & 2/3rds fruit pouch
11am - may take small amount of formula 1.5oz on a good day
12.30 - Lunch - 1/2 jar of food, 1/2 yogurt
2.30 - Formula - generally won't have it (offer rest of yogurt if he has none)
4.30 - Dinner - 1/2 jar of food, rest of fruit pouch from morning, yogurt if any left
6pm - I'm home - Nurse
7pm - Nurse
9pm - Nurse
11pm - Nurse
Can anyone offer any advice on getting him to drink more? I'm so tired from the night feeding!! Any thoughts on his food too - does that seem okay? Feeling rather confused about what I should feed him! He HATES blw (spits anything with texture out so jars are the only thing I can get down him and feel that something is better than nothing while I'm out...
First time mum so all new to me - any advice gratefully received!!
To start with, he's fine . He's just taking his milk at night rather in the day. Have a look at "reverse cycling", it's not uncommon, and in the us (where I'm assuming you're from due to the term "nurse", for breastfeed?) it is often encouraged so mums can go back to work and still breastfeed and not have to express.
The issue is whether you can mentally and physically keep the night feeds up until he naturally starts upping his daytime food and drink- ime about 9 months ish.
If you can't you may have to consider introducing formula .
Have you tried expressing if he won't take formula?
Sorry, I can't give much input but can empathise as I went through the same thing - except I didn't go back to work.
I think it's a question of perseverance. I know with the night feeds I (with permission/advice from the help with breast feeding lady) just had to get tough and feed before bed, then simply refuse to do so till morning. I did the thing where when she cried at night I went in and just spoke to her but didn't touch her. I also left it to DH to go in (I went to the bottom of the garden!!!)
It actually only took about 3 nights before she got the message!
I think for your own sanity you have to start becoming the dictator, not your baby
Since he is already eating solids then he needs less milk.
Agree with other posters who suggest to take control. You need to sleep.
Nighttime parenting is hard. Its not about regaining control. Its perfectly normal hes waking for food. Can you co sleep to help you get more rest?
Google reversing cycling. Its very normal when there is a return to work. This won't last forever
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If he won't drink formula can you express while at work to leave for him? Otherwise will he drink water?
My DD would only drink water at nursery and upped her feeds in the night. As we co-slept I often didn't even wake up when she fed.
I feel for you, OP, and don't really know what to suggest. It's true that he perhaps doesn't really need quite as much milk as he used to, given that he's on some solids, but the guidelines are that milk should still be a baby's main source of nutrition up until around 12 months. How you reconcile that with him not wanting to drink other than from the breast and you being utterly exhausted, I don't know! In my experience, perseverance is the key in this kind of situation, but I know that's not necessarily very helpful. I hope someone else has some better advice!
Agree with others that he is fine, my DC1 did the same when I went back to work - she eventually cracked and took the bottle at around 9mo so lasted around 3 months in this routine!
For the solids, could you try stuff like cheesy mash so he gets dairy there too, plus a nice full tummy. It's the kind of thing you can bulk-cook (get your DMum onto it!) and also scrambled eggs with toast. Then you know he has a really full tummy and can start (gently) to try to manage the night feeds a bit?
As others have said, it won't last forever. Good luck.
Thanks for all your comments ladies. I've tried expressing but unfortunately my milk tastes soapy after not too long, we can get away with it on porridge but he spits it out on it's own! I guess I'll just have to grin and bear the reverse cycle feeding for now until we up the food a bit! Thankfully we do bed share so that makes things easier - and my lovely boss has sorted me out a sofa in the corner of our office today so I can have a nap during the day! Hopefully he'll get the hang of drinking formula soon and have a little less during the night but I know it won't be forever!! x
Soapy breastmilk is quite common OP and you can fix it by heating breastmilk briefly before you refrigerate or freeze it. Have a look at kellymom or google 'lipase in breastmilk' for an explanation and solution!
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This describes my experience with DD perfectly. I vividly remember the worry, and the exhaustion. But the others are right - it is NORMAL, your baby is FINE and you are doing a GREAT job I promise.
In my case DD wouldn't take EBM but eventually discovered she'd drink it if it was really hot - obv not scalding temp, but a lot warmer than you'd expect. I reckon I have hot boobs
As for the night time thing, I know its tiring but I also thought that DD is still getting her 'fix' of spending time with me, despite me going back to work. Which helped with the needless guilt thing.
She is big now, at junior school, and I still have two bottles of EBM in the freezer which have lain untouched for years, yet I can't seem to throw them out yet...
My daughter did this too (she was 8 and a bit months). She refuses (still does) any milk- expressed, formula, cows, coconut, almond- from whichever receptacle it is offered. Wshe was very tiny she would take an occasional bottle of EBM, so it's not that we left it too late.
She reverse cycled. I was exhausted so you have my sympathies. She is 14 months now and some nights sleeps through, others wakes just once, so it does get better.
I actually found it better when we moved her into her own room. She still woke, but less often and took a longer feed when she did- I think she wasn't smelling me and snacking all night.
DP- who was off with her- continued to offer a cup, but we just made sure she had lots of yoghurt, porridge with BM in it etc. She's always drunk water reasonably enthusiastically too. They do know what they need. Nursery can't get her to drink it either (and her key worker can make her do all sorts of magic things, like nap on demand) so we've just given it up really.
I do have a couple of week-long work trips coming up though so that's a whole other worry...
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