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tandem feeding an overly enthusiastic toddler - from feeding on demand to what?

(6 Posts)
Beccus Tue 06-Jan-15 15:43:50

i am really struggling with managing my toddler's constant demands to b/f. i am tandem feeding her & my 3 mo. she wants to b/f v frequently at the mo. she has become more jealous of 3 mo last few days, getting v upset when we pick him up. she is also adjusting back to normal routine after being away at xmas & dp being off for 2 weeks. tantrums r thrown when I say no to her requests (which is rare) & she also gets v angry when she has to wait for me to position 3 mo before she feeds. I think she has realised that because I usually say yes, she can ask for a feed to avoid doing something she doesn't want to do, eg nappy change. Another problem is asking to b/f while having a meal, thus interrupting her meal, which she rarely goes back to after a b/f. I am not really sure how to manage this behaviour, or the constant demands which make it v difficult to leave the house in the am. if I say 'no, u can after nappy change/meal/mummy gets dressed', which I do sometimes, and then a tantrum ensues, how long should I wait before feeding her? I feel like I am rewarding the tantrum by feeding her. should I say no until she calms down? any tips appreciated, thx

Thehedgehogsong Tue 06-Jan-15 15:48:20

How much can your toddler understand? Could you make a deal?

I have the same problem, and I have told my older child she can nurse whenever she wants as long as she eats 3 meals a day. If she misses a meal, she can't breastfeed until the next meal (but I make snacks/drinks available).

I think she is relieved I will still feed her when she asks.

I try to keep her busy too and put the baby down to colour/play with her. She also gets lots of fuss from family and daddy keeping her as busy as possible!

Beccus Thu 08-Jan-15 18:51:21

thx hedgehog, I don't think she would understand that. good luck with yours

Ineedacleaningfairy Thu 08-Jan-15 18:59:37

I tandem feed my 2 year old and 10 week old, the 2 year old feeds between 1 and 5/6 times a day depending on what we are doing.

I do sometimes feed him on demand but sometimes I say yes you can have boobie but not right now, after dinner/breakfast/the baby has finished.

How old is your toddler? I really carefully explained to ds that the baby breastfeeds lots and lots because he can't eat pasta/ice cream/olives and ds can eat those yummy things so he has milk just a couple of times a day.

It all seems to be going ok so far, sometimes the toddler tells the baby to "spit it out now (the nipple) my turn now" which makes me laugh.

Victoria2002 Sat 10-Jan-15 08:15:38

I have joined a facebook group called "pregnant or tandem breastfeeders", I found it really useful for advanced tandem feeding questions. I asked about nursing "rules" and arrival of a newborn. Lots of mums said they kept or established rules for their toddler eg: baby goes first or you have a drink & biscuit then have milk, or toddler only has milk at bedtime etc.

Beccus Sat 10-Jan-15 09:59:03

ineed, yes, dd1 usually would feed 6 times a day. thx Victoria, I have requested to join that group. good to hear others r moving from feeding on demand to putting some boundaries in place

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