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anyone not able to BF first baby but could.their second?

(21 Posts)
butternut22 Wed 24-Dec-14 07:43:31

With my first baby I stopped due to the pain and bleeding and him being constantly latched on for 2 weeks. I then expressed till 9 weeks when I ran out of milk so he was ff. My next baby is due in 3 weeks and I am desperate to BF this time.

Did.anyone.have a.difficult experience feeding their first and was able to feed their second?

I realise I maybe should have persevered through the pain the first time but it was affecting my bond with my son.and my mental health. I also know ff is fine but I want to.give BF a really good try this time.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Bakeoffcakes Wed 24-Dec-14 07:52:53

butternut yes I had a dreadful time trying to BF dd1. my milk never really came in at all, DD1 was trying to feed almost every hour, she wasn't putting on weight and she was never getting any quality sleep. The midwives were hopelesssad
We were in a terrible state when my mum begged me to try FF, as she could see I was near breaking point. She was only 3 weeks, so like you I felt I should have tried to carry on, but on the positive side DD1 was like a different baby- putting on woeight, content, feeding every 3 or 4 hours and sleeping much better.

I was determind to feed dd2 and it was so much easier. She instantly latched on "properly". It all came so naturally to both of us and I fed her for 16 months. I know several people who have had very similar experiences- very difficult with baby one and much much easier with baby two. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

ShadowKat Wed 24-Dec-14 07:57:45

I never managed to get breastfeeding established with DS1. He wouldn't even try to feed without nipple shields and my supply kept dropping unless I expressed several times a day. At the time I didn't know anything about how or where to get help and I never worked out why it wasn't working.

t didn't work.

DS2 was a completely different story. We had problems getting started because he developed jaundice very early, but once the jaundice cleared he got the hang of breastfeeding really quickly. No problems with pain either as he was good at latching on, although we did have periods where he fed lots and lots. DS2 is 15 months now and still breastfeeding.

AnythingNotEverything Wed 24-Dec-14 08:23:17

My first wouldn't latch. I was in hospital for 4 days and never managed to get him on. Think he was sleepy from birth and then jaundiced. We expressed almost exclusively for 6 weeks then switched to formula.

My second is still feeding (only every other day now) at 14 months.

There is an element of persevering with bf as the first weeks can be very very tough (that's not to say those who stop should've tried harder - I make no generalisations other than that we all do our best and that in the end it doesn't make a huge difference to most babies anyway. I know this is a sensitive topic and I judge no one for their choices or experience).

There's also an element of knowing what to expect, both in terms of experience with a newborn and having some settling tricks up your sleeve.

I found feeding in a warm bed in a cold house in the middle of the night gave me lots of resolve to continue, as i knew how horrid it was waiting for a kettle to boils at 3am with a crying hungry baby waiting.

I have a large age gap between my first two and will have a small one between DCs2 and 3, and I'm worried this time about having the luxury of time to sit and feed. I think this will need a strategy. Maybe some very special sticker books at least.

Gabriola Wed 24-Dec-14 08:31:17

I really struggled to breastfeed dc1, but found it much easier with dc2. Both my babies were completely different experiences in every respect and are still nothing like each other now as older children.

Good luck this time round.

DirtyWeeRascal Wed 24-Dec-14 08:35:09

Yes, I could not get DS1 to latch at all (prem, v sleepy, would scream if offered the boob) but DS2 latched on perfectly straight away and I fed him with no problems until he was 13 months. Good luck, hope you have an easier experience this time around.

fuckwitteryskitchenisfucked Wed 24-Dec-14 08:38:37

This is slightly different but I breastfed DC1 and DC2 with no problems at all until well over a year but DC3 was a nightmare and was totally on formula by 6 weeks. She just Would. Not. Open. Her. Mouth to latch properly was so frustrating when bf counsellors told me I just needed to get the latch right as I knew it was the baby having fed two successfully - her mouth was wrong for my nipples! Over a year later one nipple is still permanently inverted from the damage she did to it. What I am saying is it depends a lot on the baby and every baby is different

butternut22 Wed 24-Dec-14 08:44:56

Thanks so much for replying. It is very encouraging. I think I will make sure they help me more in hospital before I go home this time before too much damage is done. Thanks again for responding.

ItsNotUnusualToBe Wed 24-Dec-14 08:48:26

Dc1 horrific. Bleeding nipples, excruiating, mastitis. The works. Lasted 6 weeks.
Dc2 fed all the time. Thought something was wrong so switched to formula at 3 weeks
Dc3 perfect latch from birth. Had a couple of minor problems but had read the whole internet as research (mumsnet esp tiktok and the kellymom site) and had excellent peer support. Fed until 2
Dc4 bit trickier but was confident by then. Fed until 3

All 4 turned out fabulously whether bf or ff but if you can get to the point where bf gets easy, it's a fabulous experience. Good luck

Fuckmath Wed 24-Dec-14 08:55:32

One of my friends bf her dc3 but did not manage with the previous 2. Each baby is different! Give it a go and see.

babybellydancer Thu 25-Dec-14 16:23:13

I wasn't able to BF my first born due to lack of support. I was told by HV's (and naively believed!) that you could not combine feed- it was either BF or FF, not both. I think it is fundamental that you receive consistent advice and information, particularly from the health professionals. With my second, I gave up on day 2 and it was only because an excellent BF consultant who helped me and I have gone from FF to combined feeding to giving just 8 oz formula a day. I think combine feeding really does help so many mothers who might otherwise have stopped BF :-)

stargirl1701 Thu 25-Dec-14 17:01:48

Yup. DD1 was a nightmare. My recollection of early bf was watching my blood drip onto the leg of her sleepsuit from one nipple as I fed her from the other breast. We were admitted to hospital at 10 days post birth as I had sepsis from infective mastitis. I then learned I was allergic to Flucloxicillan as I was in need of some resus help after that went on the IV.

DD2 knew how to latch from minute one. There have been issues (oversupply and forceful letdown) but no excruciating pain this time.

Ihateparties Thu 25-Dec-14 17:04:52

Yes, me too, bf ds for a week, stopped due to pain and bleeding (also spent a long time thinking I should have carried on through it). It was easier with dd1 from the beginning, I was more aware of getting the latch right immediately and making sure every time for the first couple of weeks. She was a much calmer baby though, which made it loads easier. Fed dd1 for 18m and dd2 for 19m. If I had met ds as #3 I probably would have expressed, used shields and mixed, I too believed the hcp line I was given about bf being all or nothing.

PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein Thu 25-Dec-14 17:17:19

Yes, me. No time to list details but the main difference was I understood much more about bf and had much better support. It's often a very different story second time around, in more ways than just the feeding.

Cathpot Thu 25-Dec-14 17:17:45

What made the difference for me second time round (first awful, painful upsetting, second child no problem fed for a year)was getting the right advice. I had a fab breastfeeding counsellor second time and she sat me in front of the internet and I watched video of latching on over and over again. She also advised me (if the birth had been straightforward which luckily it was) to put the baby immediately on my chest skin to skin and leave her there until she went looking for a boob. I was sceptical but I thought I would give it a go. Iy meant telling the midwives to check her while she lay on me, not take her off to weigh her and not giving her to DH straight away, but then she lay on me for 20 minutes and then lifted her head and bumped her way across my chest looking to feed. I have posted about this before because it was such a amazing moment. I latched her on then and we were away. Push for help early on, use the internet, really good chance it will go well.

Idefix Thu 25-Dec-14 17:34:33

My dsis did this. With first dc she could not get it to work dc given dummy straight away and appeared to wretch whenever put on the breast. She ended up expressing for 11 months. With dc no.2 she had no dummy and no issues from day one. We don't know how much of an issue the dummy was, could have been coincidental.

Hope it goes well for you all smile

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark Thu 25-Dec-14 17:46:23

Yes. Dc1 it was a nightmare. Dc2 it was easy. Strange!

hubbahubster Fri 26-Dec-14 10:50:40

Another yes here. Both babies were ELCS, both low anterior placenta so I lost a fair bit of blood during delivery (2lt and 1lt).

DC1 latched but wouldn't suck, was given formula in hospital due to low blood sugar, I was grabbed and manhandled by midwives and BF volunteers trying to show me what to do while in hospital but I just wasn't producing milk due to the blood loss (wasn't told this was the case until a midwife read my notes weeks later, I had no idea I'd lost so much!). Mix fed without any guidance once I got home, which meant basically I was giving him too much formula and my milk never came in as a result. Completely gave up putting baby to breast at 7 weeks.

DC2 knew what to do from the word go. I was in a room with other mums who weren't first timers and we were just left to it. I was way more relaxed as a result and baby fed in a textbook manner. Still feeding now at 7mths and I'm happy to continue as long as she likes.

I think the right support makes a difference. I didn't want loads of midwives grabbing me and making me feel under pressure like the first time, so that's what worked for me. Also I was more confident that I could make the right decisions for my baby (I'd had to put my foot down over a few things during pregnancy that I wish I'd done first time too) and that helped.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 Fri 26-Dec-14 10:54:02

First was ok bit quite a bit of pain and lots of infections.

Second was an absolute breeze.

Bumply Fri 26-Dec-14 10:59:40

First was a nightmare and had to give up after a few weeks as failing to thrive.
Second was fine, and put to rest my feelings if guilt but I stopped at 4 months instead of planned 5-6 months as it just wasn't something I enjoyed.

JADS Fri 26-Dec-14 19:47:23

Myself and 2 friends both had much more positive experiences with dc2.

Ds1 was a nightmare despite having excellent advice. However he had a tongue tie which wasn't snipped until he was a month old. He was mixed fed until 9 months but it was hard work and I spent a lot of time expressing.

Ds2 - we moved areas and I made contact with the bf counsellors pre birth. Ds latched on like a dream. It was so straight forward. Just as well as ds1 usually decides he needs a poo during bf sessIon!

Good luck - hope it works out for you this time.

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